z

Young Writers Society


12+

The Chronicles of a Public Bus (part 1.10)

by Ventomology


Wednesday, 14:30, route 31

Sometimes, Willow wonders if Divinity actually lacks any tact at all, or if she is just one of those people who thinks politeness is overrated and therefore ignores societal rules. As the two girls board the bus home, Divinity bellows a question about why Willow had to attend school as a rabbit spirit the day before. When Willow replies with a reminder about common courtesy, Divinity instead asks for highly intimate details about Willow’s love life.

“O-of course I’ve never—wait, you can’t ask me something like that in public!” Willow splutters.

A smirk lights up Divinity’s face. “Willow, if you don’t tell me what happened the other day, the questions will only get worse. Make your choice.”

Drake brushes past the girls to take his usual seat, and Willow’s cheeks flare with red. She shakes a finger at Divinity and frowns as sharply as possible.

“Not everyone has the same opinions about the powerful folk as you, Divinity. There are people who wish Drake and I really were just stories. We should chat about this over the phone instead.”

“No thanks. I want to hear it in person.  I can, however, accommodate for some discretion.”

Willow groans and rubs her temples as she follows Divinity to the back of the bus. Normally, they stand near the front door, but it seems Divinity wants Drake involved in the conversation as well.

They find Drake just settling in, rooting through his backpack for a book to occupy the ride home. Just when his eyes brighten, presumably because he’s found his book, Divinity announces her and Willow’s arrival.

“I have brought Willow to assist in some storytelling,” Divinity says, “so move your stupidly huge backpack and let her sit down.”

Annoyance tinges Drake’s features for a brief moment, but he complies and heaves his backpack onto his lap. The second Willow slides into the seat next to him, Divinity begins her interrogation. She leans forward, hands resting on the backs of the seats for support as the bus jolts into motion, and her face shines with devious curiosity.

“So,” she starts, “which of you will tell me why Willow had to come to school as a spirit yesterday? And I want all the details, not just the summary I got at school.”

Eyes squeezed shut, Willow raises a trembling hand and chews on her lower lip.

“Yes, Willow?”

“Um, well, I went to Drake’s house to drop off homework, but his mom was home, and so she invited me in to have cookies, and then Drake might have possibly walked into the living room in his dragon form because he didn’t know I’d come inside.” This Willow says in one breath, the words blurring together and squeaking towards the end of her air supply.

Divinity nods. “Okay, and then what?”

“And then Drake freaked out, so I freaked out, and I accidentally touched a lamp from his mom’s hoard, which froze my physical body for twenty-four hours. There, that’s the story.”

“Nu-uh,” Divinity says, “that is not the whole story. You left out all the magical logistics.” She jerks her chin up to glare at Drake and makes a small flourish with one hand. “Maybe you can help her out, lizard-boy?”

He complies without complaint, shoulders sagging in defeat. “I suppose. Would you prefer the shortened version or the unabridged?”

Holding her hands up in an X shape, Willow cringes and sends Divinity a silent plea for the shortened version.

“Unabridged, please,” Divinity says, her grin widening into something vaguely demonic. She practically has fangs, but Willow knows already that there aren’t vampires in Franklin City.

Drake sighs and straightens in his seat. “Very well.  I suppose some commentary on Willow's piece is in order first.

"Though she'd been dropping off homework for the whole week, this was the first time she entered the house without my knowing of it beforehand.  As I have yet to turn my DNA completely enchanted, when I'm feeling tired, I have difficulty remaining human without some conscious effort.  As for the freaking out bit, I was not aware at the time that my parents were allowing me to disclose information about being a dragon."

As Drake pauses for a longer breath, Willow bites her lip and shifts her gaze to the floor, trying to wish away the pink spots blooming on her cheeks.

“But I digress,” Drake says.  "Willow was frozen after touching an item from my mom's hoard because of the anti-theft spell my mother uses.  Unlike many of my other relatives, my mom is very thorough about spelling her hoard, so even everyday items like the lamp will cause near full paralysis.  Only some functions, like breathing and blinking and the like are left for the duration of the spell."

Just remembering the experiences sends Willow into a stream of shivers, and she pulls her backpack as close to her chest as possible. “Not being able to use the bathroom was the worst part,” she whispers.

Divinity snorts and flicks back her unruly hair. “I’ll keep that in mind if I ever visit a dragon. So what happened next?”

“Well, my mom attempted to undo the part of the spell on Willow so that no one would get in trouble,” Drake explains, “and so Willow could attend school the next day, of course, but Mom was unable to locate her original planning for the spell. She tried a few times to remove Willow from the spell, but after several failures decided to call Willow’s family and inform them about the situation. Mr. Lin was surprisingly calm about everything. He just laughed a bit and mumbled something about untethering before hanging up on us.”

Looking the part of the sage detective, Divinity cups her chin in one hand and nods. “I see. Now Willow, explain this spirit thing to me before my stop comes. We can talk about this morning over text.”

“Oh, um, it’s sort of like Drake’s deal with having only half enchanted DNA, except there isn’t some great life event that will suddenly turn me one-hundred percent powerful. Like, Ma-ma can fine tune the connection between her soul and body, but I only have three settings: fused, tethered, and separate.”

Drake leans over and nudges Willow with his elbow. “You didn’t tell me about this.”

Still acting sagely, Divinity nods again and motions for Willow to explain.

“Er, well, you guys all have your soul and body fused naturally, and changing shape or form has nothing to do with that connection. For me though, when I look human, my soul is only tethered. It’s connected by a little string, but it’s not actually in my body. My soul’s natural shape is the little rabbit you saw yesterday, so when I’m untethered, the part of me that’s conscious and moving is the rabbit. And then when I fuse, well, um, that’s what Drake saw this morning.”

Divinity raises an eyebrow. “I’d ask how that looked, but we’re pulling up to the apartment stop now.” As she turns to follow the mob off the bus, she waves goodbye and smirks. “You two behave yourselves, okay? No more leaving me out of the adventures.”

Then she vanishes into the river of disembarking people, leaving Drake and Willow to worry about Divinity’s callous curiosity.

“Isn’t it a bit dangerous for her to get involved with our adventures?” Willow asks.

Moving one arm to rest on the back of Willow’s seat, Drake chuckles and sinks into the cushions. “Says the girl who has to eat other spirits before they eat her. I believe you’re the one in the most danger here.”

Willow puffs up her cheeks and scowls. “You know, if Ma-ma and I weren’t living here, that snake would have gone after the souls of non-powerful folk first. At least I can fight back.”

“Okay, okay,” Drake says. “I concede.” He pauses for a few seconds, watching Willow fiddle with the zippers on her backpack, before sitting up straight again and scratching his neck. “By the way, my mom is baking a cheesecake tomorrow. Would you like to come over on Friday to eat some?”

Willow’s frown melts into unrestrained glee, and she smiles so wide that dimples dent her cheeks. “I’d love to! Oh, and you should ask Divinity too, since she knows about the dragon thing, which we should probably tell Martin about, since he’s our friend too.”

“Naturally,” Drake replies. “I’ll invite them both.”


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Tue Sep 29, 2015 11:01 am
BrumalHunter wrote a review...



Two chapters left! I am no longer sure whether I can complete RevMo, since have to write at least twenty more reviews today. I better write more quickly. O_o


Notes

1. For some reason, it thoroughly annoys me when people say things like "I digress" or "I'm getting off-topic". I feel it's acceptable for the person who is not speaking to remind the speaker of their digression, or if the speaker says things like "that's besides the point" because the other person is focussing on another matter. If the speaker him- or herself states he or she is digressing, I get the urge to say, "I know! So, don't emphasise it and just get back to the story!" Personally, I just continue speaking and hope the listeners didn't notice.


Impressions

1. Whether Divinity is tactless or indifferent, it comes down to the same thing. ;) But aww, now it's confirmed that she is un-powerful.

2. Willow wants to chat about her lovelife (Wait, she actually has one? Is it Drake, or is he just her goofy friend?) over her phone? Sure, like people don't eavesdrop on those conversations... >_> But I'm not surprised that there are people who don't like powerful folk. Sure, they've grown accustomed to it, but people will always be suspicious, wary, or hostile towards those who are different.

3. Yay, explanations! *is tempted to start clapping hands like a seal, but thinks better of it* I'm, glad Divinity asked for the unabridged version, but Willow ought to have known that would happen. (I'd have reacted exactly the same way.) It's ironic that Willow would make that comment about vampires in Franklin City - it's dramatically ironic, in fact. ;)

4. You can turn your DNA enchanted if you're powerful? You mean powerful folk actually have the choice to be un-powerful if they so wish? Aww, but then un-powerful folk ought to be able to become powerful too.

5. Ah, I simply should have been patient, since there comes the full explanation. But ooh, I see some more conflict brewing between Willow and Drake. There are several things I've consistently encountered in stories, but one of those are that friends don't like to be kept ignorant about certain affairs. Willow's and Drake's lack of communication will cause some trouble in future. (And if it doesn't, it ought to, since you're certainly hinting at it.)

6. If there is one thing I hate and fear most, it's having my soul trapped, absorbed, or removed from my body through any way other than death. Seriously, I hate Dementors and Soul Gems with a passion, and if anybody or anything were to try and take mine, I'd run away screaming or kick their nasty selves into Oblivion - whichever is more appropriate. I get extremely touchy when it comes to matters like that. >_<

7. That ending is perfect, but for some reason, I sense a hidden meaning in it somewhere... Either my intuition is sharper than usual, or I'm just being paranoid, which is usual.


No delay, the next review begins now...

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Ventomology says...


Oh, the enchanted DNA thing is more like having a gene turned on or off. It can change, but not easily.

And whatever suspicions you have, you're probably somewhere on the right track. Maybe.



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Sun Sep 27, 2015 7:44 pm
EnderFlash wrote a review...



She practically has fangs, but Willow knows already that there aren’t vampires in Franklin City.
If only you knew, Willow, if only you knew.

Info dump, eh? Well, you presented it rather well. It's not like huge bunches of paragraphs, and you had to explain this all sometime, or else it'd get even messier. I guess my only suggestion is that it'd be nice for some other events to happen. That way, the info dump doesn't seem too much like a dump.

Comments and Impressions!

1. I'm getting some foreshadowing from this chapter, although that might just be my overly-paranoid self. I have lots of thoughts on how Divinity in particular can develop, but I'll keep them to myself until at least one theory is given further evidence.

2. Gasp, Willlow likes cheesecake? I love cheesecake. Darn, now I'm hungry. I'm going to ask my mom the next time we can go to the Cheesecake Factory...

3.
“Not being able to use the bathroom was the worst part,” she whispers.
Oh god. Oh god.




Ventomology says...


Ugh, yeah. This was the info dump chapter.

Also, you have a Cheesecake Factory where you live? I am so jealous. I've only ever been there once.

(I bet you weren't expecting bathroom humor from me, eh? Muhahaha.)

Thanks for the review!



EnderFlash says...


Cheesecake Factory ftw :D It doubles as a pretty dang good restaurant (the bread is amazing), so if we have time we can drive there for lunch and buy cheesecake while we're at it. It's around 20-30 minutes away, though, so it's not like a weekly occasion.



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Wed Sep 23, 2015 1:47 am
BluesClues wrote a review...



I love Divinity.

Okay, I think my only note for this chapter is to introduce the reason for Drake freaking out in Willow’s story rather than waiting for Drake to give the unabridged version. I figured it was probably that she didn’t already know he was a dragon, but I wasn’t sure, so I was kind of sitting there like, “They’re friends, they all know about the powerful folk, and they’ve all already seen Willow as a rabbit, so why did Drake freak out when she came over?” And there’s really no reason for Willow not to mention, “He started freaking out because I wasn’t supposed to know he was a dragon” or whatever, so… Yeah.

P.S. I also love that Willow’s natural form is actually the rabbit. That makes me so happy.

BlueAfrica




Ventomology says...


Yeah, I should definitely get rid of all the redundancy. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the characters.



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Sun Sep 20, 2015 5:26 pm
Lorelie says...



Hey Buggie,

Yewis just suggested this for my review of the day. I don't feel like reviewing though...

But I'm going to say I was trying to picture your characters and I was kind of enjoying. They seem to be little children who are learning to become magical creatures, although they're human. They seemed so cute, and I almost envied them a bit.

The language is so adorable! I love the way it seems to be redundant and ambiguous at the same time. I totally see what is happening, but I need to see more (I already forgot why I said that...)

There's something Willow and Drake didn't tell. Even though I'm sure they are a girl and a boy, respectively, there's something more going on. Yes, they share... a secret (yup, that's all I can tell).

I'm leaving the review slots for people who read the previous chapters. What can I say more? I'd say keep going, but of course you will (:

Cheers
-Lore




Ventomology says...


Eum... this was my infodump chapter, so it really would be difficult to jump in and read. I applaud your bravery.

I like your take on Willow and Drake though. I think I'll try to expand on it somehow in the future.

Thanks for the review!




Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
— RazorSharpPencil