The Chronicles of a Public Bus (part 2.02)

by Ventomology

Published October 17, 2015

12+

In TLMS II

Thursday, 7:00, route 31

Divinity finds herself fidgeting nonstop, distraught by the absence of reading material. Someone else has already claimed the bus copy of the newspaper, and its crinkling teases her from a few seats away. To make matters worse, her phone sits on her desk at home, forlorn and fully charged.

Since stretching her arms and kicking her legs back and forth are out of the question in the crowded bus, Divinity settles for people-watching. She shoves her backpack under the seat and folds her hands, prim and proper, in her lap before lifting her chin and putting on an air of indifference. People are less likely to think she’s staring if she makes it difficult for them to see her eyes.

Divinity’s first target is the obvious couple huddled over her newspaper. They lean into each other, laughing over the comics page, and Divinity wonders if they even noticed the sour portrait of Mr. Talisman on the front page, or if they bothered to look.

She picks out more subjects at random, occasionally letting a grin touch her lips if she spots something particularly funny, like the three middle school children pointing out public displays of affection and cackling at everything that moves. Then Divinity catches sight of platinum blonde hair and snaps her attention towards the owner.

She’s seen that girl. It’s not the hair, since there are too many blondes waiting to get run over for that to be a defining feature, but the sharp nose and eyes make Divinity think of an interview she read in the school paper. She squints and licks her lips, combing through her brain for information.

“Aha,” she whispers to herself, “that’s the exchange student from Austria, Marie.” Divinity smiles, closes her eyes, and leans back so no one will know she was staring before digging through her head again.

Marie Schuhmacher is famous at school, so famous that out of the ten exchange students in Franklin High, she’s the only one so far to earn an article focused solely on her. Her voice is charming, and last summer she attended an international camp for teens aspiring to sing opera, which must have been the topic of the article.

Divinity opens her eyes and brightens in pride. Six months and her memory of the article is still tip-top. She ought to brag about it to Willow.

The bus drags to a stop, and a stream of kids piles into the narrow aisle between the seats, squishing everyone backwards. Marie shuffles along with the rest of the crowd, but she can only push back as far as Divinity’s spot. When someone slips into a gap behind her, Marie stumbles forward, and her long shins knock against Divinity’s knees.

“Oh! Tut mir—I mean, I’m sorry.”

Divinity squints. Marie’s voice really is as lovely as they say; she sounds like a mix of seven parts Julie Andrews and three parts air.

“No problem,” Divinity says, shrugging. She pretends to study Marie for a moment before asking, despite already knowing the answer, if the girl is the exchange student from Austria.

Marie covers her mouth and lets out a melodious giggle. “I am the exchange student from Austria, yes. My name is Marie.”

Naturally, Divinity knows this already, but since Marie is not Willow or Drake, the conversation demands a polite reply. “That’s a pretty name. I’m Divinity. It’s nice to meet you.”

As Marie opens her mouth to reply, she suddenly gags and points out the window by Divinity’s seat. Her mouth twists in alarm, and with her other hand, she clutches her bag so tightly that her already pale knuckles turn even paler. “W-what is that?”

Divinity cranes her neck to look past her seatmate. “What is what?” she says, but then she notices the translucent, snowy shadow of a gigantic wing. Pitch black stick legs fold up and down, propelling a huge, white body down the road.

“Holy moly,” Divinity breathes. “That’s like, a snowy egret’s ghost times a hundred.”

Marie makes no reply, and the two girls watch the bird flap alongside them until finally, the bus squeals to a stop at an intersection. The bird halts as well, and it leans down to stare through the very window Divinity and Marie are using. Its black marble eyes gleam with hunger, and its white crest spikes in dangerous peaks. Its coal beak snaps open, revealing a pink throat swirling with wispy, half-digested spirits.

“Why is the rabbit not here?” the bird croaks.

Divinity snaps her mouth shut with a loud, hollow clack and hopes the bird is talking to itself and not someone on the bus.

Like a charmed snake, the bird’s head sways and rolls. “Strong spirits are like fish. They stink so much that I cannot seek them out accurately, only lie in wait someplace where the scent is concentrated. Mayhaps there is a more fortuitous location than this roaming box.”

The bus spurts forward a tad faster than it probably should, and the white bird leaps into the air. Marie taps Divinity’s shoulder, and Divinity jumps in her seat.

“I thought there were not any of the more dangerous powerful folk in this area,” Marie whispers. “That is why I came here for my exchange.”

As she pulls her gaze from the window, Divinity makes a mental note to warn Willow about the bird. “There shouldn’t be spirits like that around here,” Divinity says. “There hasn’t been a problem with anything powerful folk-related since the twenties.” A thought tugs at Divinity’s mind as she mentions the date, some trivia recently gleaned from the newspaper.

She glances at the couple trying to return to the comics in the paper and lets her eyes rest on Mr. Talisman’s frumpy face. His family bought their estate in the twenties. Divinity is almost sure of it.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Songmorning
Comment
Songmorning commented Comment · Mar 19, 2016

Aaaahhh! There's an AUSTRIAN in this story! ^_^ I love Austria...

Also, I wonder why that huge bird spirit is after Willow too... o_O

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BrumalHunter
Review
BrumalHunter wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2015

Ah, Divinity is the character from whose perspective this part is told. I shall see if there's a pattern in the order of the points of view, and since the rest of the chapter is already published, you can't change the order just to throw me off. From chapter two forward, I shall also pay more attention to the time and the route taken.


Notes

1. Well fancy that, no notes. Well done!


Impressions

1. There is nothing quite as frustrating as being bored. It becomes even worse if you left your phone at home with the intention of spending some time away from it, because you thought something else would keep you busy.

2. Now that I think about it, Divinity seems to watch people quite a lot. Whenever people-watching is concerned, it's mostly her or Rick that does the watching. Then again, the whole point of making the public bus a setting is to place a spotlight on the variety of people that ride it.

3. Okay, I was wrong about cyan girl. Ugh, that's what happens when you let a paranoid bus driver lead you to believe things. But at least now I know why she said "Hallo" at first. (We pronounce it the same way in Afrikaans.)

4. If I knew who Julie Andrews was, I might have appreciated the reference.

5. Oh, Divinity actually knows how to be polite. That's good.

6. Whoa, it seems the Moon Spirits are in more danger of going extinct than the Dragons, and that's saying something. If you played Viva Piñata, I'd make a reference concerning Bunnycombs and Pretztails.

7. Ah, the plot thickens. Since we have yet to learn the significance of Mr Talisman's death, I share Willow's suspicions.


I shall take a quick break now, and then I shall resume my reviewing.


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Yay! I did well!

By the way, Julie Andrews is a famous movie star who played a lot of singing roles for young women. She's a household name in the states, but I guess not in the rest of the world...

As for point 7, it was Mr. Talisman's daughter who died, not the man himself.

Right! I remember now! If I had reviewed this shortly after reading about her death, this would not have been a problem.

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EnderFlash
Review
EnderFlash wrote a review Review · Nov 8, 2015

*Puts on unnecessary sunglasses* I'm here.

Sort of Advice?

The events and description start off slow and a bit stuffed, but it begins clearing up once Marie appears and disappears altogether with the appearance of the bird. So progress-wise, I'm satisfied.

Refer to previous reviews! :D

Really, though, the paragraph division isn't nearly as big a problem as with Rick's chapter, since he was the focus and that made it a little hard.

....Buggie. I tried.

Moving On...

1. Austrians must be good at music. Austria himself says so.

2. I love this casual, normal atmosphere you set up and then you introduced a giant bird thing halfway through the chapter. Nothing to see here, just another magical occurrence...

3. The details you point out in everyday life make this story so relatable. Sometimes I wonder if it's a bit too much, but it's the way you write and how this story works- I can't change that.

4. What's the point of numbering these comments, anyways?

Hoorah! I knew including little details would help keep the tone I wanted!

Thanks for the review! I promise I'll be caught up with yours by the end of Wednesday.

Oh boy... Then I can feel terrible about not being caught up with yours.

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Mcbucketts Review
Mcbucketts wrote a review Review · Oct 17, 2015

I am very impressed with how the story starts. Also your word choices and your vocabulary is very creative as well. Likewise, the environment at first seemed very chaotic but the more I read, the more I understood the situation. The way you use the literary devices is genius. I am very impressed with how you have structured your story and I wish you the best!:)



Obsessing over what you regret won't get you anywhere.
— Steggy