The Chronicles of a Public Bus (part 2.05)

by Ventomology

Published November 7, 2015

12+

In TLMS II

Thursday, 15:00, route 40 eastbound

For once, sitting still is a chore for Martin. He’s been promised an old textbook on vampires from the biology teacher, and waiting for tomorrow sounds harder than one of Hercules’s labors. His book on the history of Supers sits forgotten in his backpack.

The smell of iron, sharp as cheddar, catches Martin’s nose, and he glances to the front door. Mellie, in all her armored glory, stomps onto the plastic floor. Her orange hair is black at the tips, and crimson rage darkens her face. As she holds up her bus pass, the thin paper fizzles between her fingers.

Despite their painful curiosity, neither Rick nor Martin asks what happened. The tension is suffocating, and Mellie’s stomping and huffing only pack in more unbreathable air. Only when Martin catches the nearing scent of his family’s “unscented” laundry detergent does the atmosphere lighten.

Mr. Stevenson steps onto the bus with Atlas’s burden on his shoulders. Though broad as ever, exhaustion turns his cheeks gaunt and his gaze hollow. He sighs when he sees Mellie fuming and burning, and his jacket pulls taught with the added slope in his shoulders.

“There’s no point in getting mad now, Melody,” he says. “If Mr. Talisman wants to run a private investigation business, the police can’t stop him.”

Mellie groans and slumps in her seat, leaning her head back like an exasperated teenager. “I know that, and he’s not at fault for wanting to understand what happened to Marcy. He just didn’t have to be such a snob and act like he’d already solved the case.”

Wanting to seem disinterested, Martin unzips his backpack and pretends to search for something. He trains his ears on the conversation a few seats behind him and pulls out the book on Supers, flipping it open to his makeshift notebook paper bookmark.

“True,” Martin’s dad says. “He was a bit rude today. However, few people do anything without reason. Mr. Talisman may very well know more than our own investigators do.”

“Then he should tell the police!”

“Mr. Talisman is has likely lost a bit of faith in our force. I know my neighbors have already started talking about our failure to apprehend the culprit.”

Martin’s mind wanders through the possibilities of what Mr. Talisman may or may not know. Absently, he thumbs the edge of the page, only to find it stuck to the next. As he brings up his hand to wet a finger, he pauses. His mouth feels wrong and crowded, like it did when he was seven and his teeth were too big for his jaw. While his dad and Mellie move on to more mundane topics like significant others, Martin tests the cutting edges of his canines.

None of his teeth are too sharp or too long, but all four canines are loose.

Blood rushes to Martin’s cheeks. He’s in high school; he lost his first set of teeth almost ten years ago. At his last dentist appointment, he’d even been complimented on his exceptional hygiene. Besides, except for the one time Willow nailed his forehead, he’s lasted plenty of violent rounds of dodgeball without once having his face smashed in.

Only one explanation remains, but the thought sends Martin into a fit of shivering. He squeezes his eyes shut and lists reasons why his final conclusion is wrong, picking at the back cover of his book as he thinks.

One: turning usually lasts minutes, not days. He would know by now if he was a vampire. Two: Martin doesn’t remember being attacked, just having momentary confusion. Yes, he tripped on the curb, but that was it. Trying to recall other symptoms of turning, Martin picks faster at his book. Vampires combust in sunlight, but so far, Martin hasn’t even found or felt the crimson scorch of a sunburn.

His stomach growls louder than the bus engine, and Martin realizes that he’s been so lost in thought that he didn’t register the sound of the bus pulling out of the parking lot. Suddenly aware of his ignorance, he devotes all attention to the cacophony of beeping and whirring around him. The metronomic click of a turn signal drills his ears like the rimshots that echo through school every afternoon during the football and marching band season.

Martin’s phone vibrates, and he shakes like he’s at the epicenter of an earthquake. Though his eyes focus with uncanny strength on the passing desert outside, he catches in his peripherals the slight turn of his dad’s head. Struggling to maintain his typical aloofness, Martin fishes his phone out of a pocket in his jacket and turns on the screen.

Drake has just sent a text. “Cheesecake tomorrow is not cancelled,” he writes. “Are you still coming?”

The connection is slow, because Martin has not been acquainted with the fact for long, but he recalls that Drake is a dragon, and Willow, who will certainly turn up for cheesecake tomorrow, is a kind of powerful folk as well.

The corners of Martin’s mouth twitch up into a smile, and his eyes—despite their newly oblong pupils—soften. He has friends to help him understand what’s going on. Everything will go back to normal soon enough.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Songmorning
Review
Songmorning wrote a review Review · Mar 20, 2016

Since I already seem to have half-written a review, I'm going to turn this into a full review. I've been really fascinated with the story so far. I'm sure many other reviewers have told you this, but I think it's quite remarkable that it takes place entirely within the bus, and yet it's still a very intricate and detailed story. We're getting to know the characters quite well. The only thing that kind of bugs me is Mr. Pyus because his character seems to be entirely a jab at Christianity/Catholicism, and he's made out to be a bumbling idiot. I'm not being overly sensitive, and you can keep it if you want. Intentionally offensive satire has been in use in stories for as long as literature has existed. But when I read the paragraphs about him, my stomach churns, and I as a Christian feel rather stereotyped, so...there's that.

"Martin hasn't found or felt the crimson scorch of a sunburn." I see now that he might be turning into a vampire, but I thought he was black? Even if he did get a sunburn, wouldn't it not be visible...? I thought you described him as having dark skin at first, so I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I kind of liked my mental image of him. :P I suppose what you wrote doesn't explicitly state that he would see a sunburn, but it kind of implied it. I just want to know if he's of African heritage or not...I want to know what my favorite character looks like!

He also seems to have super-heightened senses, not only of scent but also of sound, although it all appears to be a new development with him.

Ever since the first chapter in which Martin appeared, when--I think it was Rick--describes him as a "stick in the mud", he's been my favorite character (and maybe also because he shares a name and possibly a skin color with my big brother ^^"). I sensed something deeper in him from that line, and I haven't been disappointed so far. I can't wait to see how his character will develop!

Anyway, I probably won't write another review until I get to the chapters with less than two, but I just had to talk about Martin a bit, as well as my impressions so far. I'm really enjoying the story, so thanks for posting it!

~Songy

While it is absolutely true that people with dark skin generally don't sunburn, it is important to remember that sunburns are not very different from burns from fires or the stove. The skin will still turn somewhat red or pink (or blister, depending on the degree). However, I am glad you like the fact that Martin is black! Literature is so white-washed that I didn't know if people would remember or accept it.

Cool, thanks!

User avatar
BrumalHunter
Review
BrumalHunter wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2015

Willow, Divinity, Rick, Willow... Martin? I doubt there is a pattern now, you probably just write as you find necessary. I should have known, since following a pattern makes the writing very inflexible, and you are not one for being pigeon-holed.


Notes

1. Since when does iron have a scent, especially a sharp one? I know water can taste metallic if you have enough iron in your blood, and if you're a fairy, you can probably sense the life-sapping presence of iron, but I don't think anyone can smell a metal. And I don't know what American cheese smells like, but I have to hold my nose almost against the cheddar to smell it.

2. After Mellie's line about Mr Talisman having to tell the police, you have a redundant auxilary verb after his name.

3. In the first sentence of the fourth-to-last paragraph, you appear to be missing a word.


Impressions

1. Does Martin have hyperosmia, or is his abnormally acute sense of smell due to being powerful himself?

2. Though it's obviously not always the case, the obvious answer is usually the correct one - it would explain the "hyperosmia" too. However, Martin's three points cannot simply be ignored, and he'd be able to feel his neck for bite marks. Of course, vampires have other characteristics too, such as having poisonous saliva (like lycans) and sometimes even invisibility.

3. Now that I think of it, he could still be turning into a vampire, since Skyrim has Sanguinare Vampiris, an illness that, if left uncured for four days, turns you into a vampire. Also, those vampires only start burning in sunlight if they haven't fed for four days after their last "meal".


This chapter has two more typos than usual, but everybody has days where they are a little tired. Either way, Martin seems more like an individual now, since for the first time, he was depicted as showing an attitude other than merely indifference. I can sense a climax building up to Drake's turning, though, so I look forward to that.

PS: Can you think of a way how I can use "though" and "however" less? I know I use it a lot, but I don't know how to use it less...


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Fixing the typos now... Thanks as always! (Also, you will get your wish on Martin's turning. :) )

Yay! (A vampire as a character can't do any harm. :P )

User avatar
EnderFlash
Review
EnderFlash wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2015

I still have no idea how to format my reviews, so bear with these unorganized paragraphs.

Drake has just sent a text. “Cheesecake tomorrow is not cancelled,” he writes. “Are you still coming?”
Urgh, nitpicking... Anyways, this line seems strange. You write in present tense, but 'he writes' makes it as if Drake currently writing it, while just several words before it says 'has just sent'. I'm squinting at it and I'm sure I can figure out a way to have it make sense...eventually... but it's awkward.

---

1. Ha, it's Mystery now! If you changed it earlier, I didn't notice- but that tag fits your story quite well. There's always the implication that something will happen, but never quite the clearance of what's happening. It's a little more vague than I would've liked (I'm not even sure what's happening or what I'm supposed to be wary of, as opposed to simply dreading the identity of a murderer or revelation), but it's nice.

2. Comment number one can be resolved by the fact that I'm terrible at deciphering these kinds of things.

3. Martin's life seems like it's about to take an unpleasant turn. Poor boy.



I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.
— Sylvia Plath