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The things we never said

by AmadeusW

I don't want to be afraid anymore

Of these choices I've made

What have I done

To make you run away

What have I done

To make you glare but never say

What it was you were thinking of me

How I hurt you - what I don't see

Just tell me

I want to understand why you turn from me, from us

I want to make amends with you, between us

So why did you run away

Why did you act such blatant lies

To say that you had had enough

We both hurt each other, do you realize?

I can't believe I said that I was tough.

I beat the ground with my fists and said,

"I have been the fool."

But you said nothing, like I was just the tool.

The friend I rarely thanked told me to breathe

God bless her soul -

My other friend was a stoic man

But he, too, was glad that I had self-control

And by the end of night, the past was fading

And whoever was right or wrong, was fleeting

But I'll have you know that I still think of you

Even if you nevermore meet my gaze

Your livid face, I hope, might not be wholly true

But from this road, there are many ways.

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46 Reviews

Points: 55
Reviews: 46

Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:26 pm
starryknightt wrote a review...

Hey there! My name is M, and I just want to get this out of the way-

Every time I see a work of yours pop up on my screen, I get this little thrill. You're magnificent. Your language is exquisite, painting an image, a masterpiece, in my mind every single time I deign to read the words you provide. You're one of the best poets on this crazy website.

This work in particular packed quite the emotional punch. And, my gosh, I love how you included friendship in this tale of separation/heartbreak/anger. You really don't see that often. I didn't know I needed that little detail until I saw it now.

There's so much I could go on and on about in this piece of art. Your word choice is very good, not too simple, but not too easy either. Words such as "stoic", "nevermore", "livid", and "blatant" really contribute to the atmosphere and keep this piece crisp and new.

Altogether, I really enjoyed this work.

I can't wait to read more of your art!


AmadeusW says...

Thank you so much!

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274 Reviews

Points: 22619
Reviews: 274

Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:46 am
Dossereana wrote a review...

Hi @AmadeusW I'm here to do a review on your work here. So I did see you comment that you wanted people to review this so here I am.

I really like this, for you started and ended it really well. There is so many emotions behind this poem.

Your livid face, I hope, might not be wholly true

Okay so I just read this and I have never seen the word wholly before, if you don't mind explaining what the word means then that would be great. but other then that the line is great, I really like this poem. And don't think I'm lying about how good it is, because I'm being really true to you.
I have nothing else to say, this poem was great, I really like it.

So as you no that is all that I can say. I don't really read poems any more, but this was great for a start to read a poem again.

I hope you have a great Day/Night

@Dossereana Out In The Sky Of Reviews

AmadeusW says...

Thank you for your feedback!

AmadeusW says...

Wholly is the adjective form of to be whole; synonyms: entirely, completely

Dossereana says...

I am glad that I could help, and thanks for explaining the word wholly. :D

User avatar
544 Reviews

Points: 30084
Reviews: 544

Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:15 pm
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello my writing friend! FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely night and to help get your work out the green room!

Okay let's start the review shall we?

Okay so I saw one or two things that can be fixed very quickly, so I'll jump right into that now.
So as I was reading through your poem you didn't really have a good flow to it, and as I got further into it the flew became better and began to show the emotions you have put into it. So I read over it again, and I saw that you began to add more full-stops and commas towards the end, so I would suggest reading through this and putting some commas in the first part of your poem. By doing that you will give your poem a much better flow and it wont feel like it's all over the place, and secondly it will allow all the emotion that began to come through towards the end to come out in the very beginning.

Now the second thing is up to you to do.
So this poem has so much meaning behind it and sometimes I had to just stop and think about what was going on, so I am thinking maybe you should put your poem into paragraphs. That way your reader has place to stop and think.
But again that is up to you it doesn't affect your poem that much, and it could also just be me.

Anyway that was all I saw that needed to be fixed so not to bad. ;)

Any who, I really like the concept you have going here, it so deep and I feel like when I am reading this I just get sucked right into it, and that is what I am normally looking for in a poem and I really found that in your poem.
I also like the sad story you told with your words, it very strong and it connects your reader to your work even better.
What I got from this poem in someone trying to get over a tough break up, and he or she can't get this other person out of their head because of all the things they have done to them. And through out the poem they slowly come to a realization they can do what ever they want any should just move on.
That was the feeling I got from your ending line.

But from this road, there are many ways.

This was what told me they had moved on and taken an other path to life.

Anyway that's all from me for now, I'm really glad i got to read your work, it was a lot of fun to read and tell you what I thought of it. I do hope you will write again and post your work on YWS soon. You have a real gift. Have a great day or night.

Your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion!!


AmadeusW says...

Thank you for the review!

No problem!

User avatar
307 Reviews

Points: 18216
Reviews: 307

Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:55 pm
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Liberty wrote a review...

Hey Deus! (Is that an okay nickname?)

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review from RevMo! Let's get started, now, shall we?


Okie. So wonderful poem you've got here! I like your wording - very nice and definitely explains a lot to us in such few words. You're spelling and grammar was top-notch, so great job! Also, I don't have much to critique, so yeah. (:

I thought I'd end this review - sorta - with my favorite part of this poem.

But from this road, there are many ways.

That last bit is so beautiful, I love it!

Well anyways, great job with this poem, and I can't wait to see more from you in the future. Of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me whenever!

And as always...

Keep on writing!


AmadeusW says...

Thank you for the review!

Liberty says...

Not a problem!

May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of your life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death.
— An Unknown Bride, Leap Year