Young Writers Society

Hey there! My name is M, and I just want to get this out of the way-

Every time I see a work of yours pop up on my screen, I get this little thrill. You're magnificent. Your language is exquisite, painting an image, a masterpiece, in my mind every single time I deign to read the words you provide. You're one of the best poets on this crazy website.

This work in particular packed quite the emotional punch. And, my gosh, I love how you included friendship in this tale of separation/heartbreak/anger. You really don't see that often. I didn't know I needed that little detail until I saw it now.

There's so much I could go on and on about in this piece of art. Your word choice is very good, not too simple, but not too easy either. Words such as "stoic", "nevermore", "livid", and "blatant" really contribute to the atmosphere and keep this piece crisp and new.

Altogether, I really enjoyed this work.

I can't wait to read more of your art!

-M

Hi @AmadeusW I'm here to do a review on your work here. So I did see you comment that you wanted people to review this so here I am.

I really like this, for you started and ended it really well. There is so many emotions behind this poem.

Your livid face, I hope, might not be wholly true

Hello my writing friend! FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely night and to help get your work out the green room!

Okay let's start the review shall we?

Okay so I saw one or two things that can be fixed very quickly, so I'll jump right into that now.
So as I was reading through your poem you didn't really have a good flow to it, and as I got further into it the flew became better and began to show the emotions you have put into it. So I read over it again, and I saw that you began to add more full-stops and commas towards the end, so I would suggest reading through this and putting some commas in the first part of your poem. By doing that you will give your poem a much better flow and it wont feel like it's all over the place, and secondly it will allow all the emotion that began to come through towards the end to come out in the very beginning.

Now the second thing is up to you to do.
So this poem has so much meaning behind it and sometimes I had to just stop and think about what was going on, so I am thinking maybe you should put your poem into paragraphs. That way your reader has place to stop and think.
But again that is up to you it doesn't affect your poem that much, and it could also just be me.

Anyway that was all I saw that needed to be fixed so not to bad.

Any who, I really like the concept you have going here, it so deep and I feel like when I am reading this I just get sucked right into it, and that is what I am normally looking for in a poem and I really found that in your poem.
I also like the sad story you told with your words, it very strong and it connects your reader to your work even better.
What I got from this poem in someone trying to get over a tough break up, and he or she can't get this other person out of their head because of all the things they have done to them. And through out the poem they slowly come to a realization they can do what ever they want any should just move on.
That was the feeling I got from your ending line.

But from this road, there are many ways.

Hey Deus! (Is that an okay nickname?)

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review from RevMo! Let's get started, now, shall we?

Alright!

Okie. So wonderful poem you've got here! I like your wording - very nice and definitely explains a lot to us in such few words. You're spelling and grammar was top-notch, so great job! Also, I don't have much to critique, so yeah.

I thought I'd end this review - sorta - with my favorite part of this poem.

But from this road, there are many ways.