The Dying Sun [NOVEL]

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!

First Impression: Well, this was quite an intense prologue, emotionally this is certainly something that's completely packed and it really does go quite deep into how much this incident here right at the start affects this protagonist here. Well, it certainly does make you want to read on, this one.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I stared into the dying sun. Her face is still haunting my memories. I looked away from the searing pain in my heart. She was my sun, my world, my life. Gravity didn't hold me then, she did. Now, without her I feel like I'm being pulled into a black hole.

Oooh, well we off to a bit of a sad start there judging by how that thing right there is phrased, it appears that whoever is speaking here has lost someone that they cared about quite a lot, and someone that seemed to have grounded them and almost kept them alive or something along those lines judging by how things are phrased and I'm guessing this means whoever it was was someone that brought this person out of some terrible situation or something along those lines perhaps. From the looks of that last line, it looks like without this person, they're about to lose their footing in life...well, certainly is quite an intriguing start this one.

I was a guy that never knew what love was and I found out that she was love. The thing I didn't know was it didn't last long and it leaves you with the worst kind of pain you've ever felt. I feel like I'm in a dark room, waiting for her to come and rescue me but something in me says she never will. Standing on this small cliff, I feel like she's in the wind, in the ocean, in the waves. She's calling my name, loud and clear. She's asking me to join her.

And well, that explains who this person is talking about at any rate....well that's interesting, the depth of what was being talked about, I almost thought it was someone's mother that was being talked about here....and well, this is just as bad here...it certainly looks like this guy was really in a horrible place before whoever this girl was basically put him back together. The way he says she taught him how to love is certainly a very well chosen description there. And of course he's just contemplating ending things here, considering those last couple of lines there.

Tears ran down my cheeks.They say big boys don't cry but...I just couldn't take it anymore, I've never dealt with this kind of pain, digging through my heart. I fell onto my knees and buried my face in my hands and cried, thinking it would sooth the pain. I held the crumbled letter close to my heart . That one line ' Immortality doesn't end with death.' I kissed the letter and closed my eyes and let my past wash me over.

Well...this is pretty interesting this one...there appears to be some sort of pretty intriguing letter involved and the line that he quotes here from said letter is also a really interesting one here. And then of course there's the final acceptance of the emotions depicted here, the way that he just falls to the ground crying, not knowing what else to do besides hugging that letter close really does nail home how important this person might have been and how much of an effect this is having. A powerful image to finish off a prologue here. This certainly makes you want to read on to find out more.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a pretty solid prologue this one, it does manage to tick pretty much all the boxes that you could possibly expect a prologue to tick here. Well anyway, that's about all I've gotta say here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

hello person! droping for a quick review here!

to say this was good would be an understatement! this was fantastic...awesome ... amazing! and maybe even more things! i totally loved it!

the idea seems fascinating to me.. and i really am looking forward to read the next chapter soon!

i really like the part where u say "big boys dont cry..." seriously it showed the pain!

Spoiler

even though this was awesome, i've got a couple of nitpicks for you... so here it goes...

plzz reduce the spacing here...its like a hell lot I stared into the dying sun. Her face is still haunting my memories. I looked away from the searing pain in my heart. She was my sun, my world, my life. Gravity didn't hold me then, she did. Now, without her I feel like I'm being pulled into a black hole.

reduce spacing ? I was a guy that never knew what love was and I found out that she was love. The thing I didn't know was it didn't (replace it with "never") last long and it leaves you with the worst kind of pain you've ever felt. I feel like I'm in a dark room, waiting for her to come and rescue me but something in me says she never will. Standing on this small cliff, I feel like she's in the wind, in the ocean, in the waves. She's calling my name, loud and clear. She's asking me to join her.

reduce spacing ? Tears ran down my cheeks.They say big boys don't cry but...I just couldn't take it anymore, I've never dealt this kind of pain, digging through my heart. I fell onto my knees and buried my face in my hands and cried thinking it would sooth the pain. I held the crumbled letter close to my heart . That one line ' Immortality doesn't end in death.' (i loved this!) I kissed the letter and closed my eyes and let my past wash me over.

overall i really liked it... and look forward to read future chapters! plz inform me when they are out !

phangirl~

King Here
Hello there! This work caught my eye with its unique and interesting tittle. The style in which you had written this work is really cathy. I did not expect it. Well, for the idea of this work, I have no complains. I only have several complains (if we can call them complains) and suggestions.

I've never dealt this kind of pain

'deal' is always the companion of 'with'. I think this is the missing part here.

...and cried thinking it would sooth the pain.

I think you need comma before 'thinking'.

Immortality doesn't end in death.

This is a very mysterious and questionable message written on paper. I think it needs to be ' with death '.
At least, I understood it this way.

Overall, I really love this work even if I am confused will this be only the beginning because the tittle says it is a novel. Keep on writing.
Have a good day/night.