The three biggest lies on the internet

by Apricity

Published July 19, 2014

In 2014 poetry

1. Status: Away

2. I've read and agreed to the above terms/conditions.

3. I'm over 18 years of age.

Don't lie to me.


You know, it's all true.

Comments & reviews · 27
AverageIsekaiFan commented Comment · Dec 4, 2024

"I'm over 18 years of age."

-Looks sideways-
-That other guys in my head looks sideways at me-
"Uh..."
"Well technically I am"
"You weren-"
"Shh we don't talk about that"
"But I mean you weren't befo-"
"SHUT-"

lol

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Inin Comment
Inin commented Comment · Aug 12, 2024

The second one is true for me I mostly am.too tired to even read anything especially when I'm in a hurry but I've also come to realise that we'll I should try to read them sometimes just to be save

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deleted43
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deleted43 commented Comment · Aug 10, 2022

i never read the terms and conditions.

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Willard
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Willard commented Comment · May 31, 2022

it's always too funny to see this pop up time and time again

Ngl this is probably one of my least favourite works, feels like a personal form of torture every time i see it now ugh

suffering from success

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Phillauthet
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Phillauthet commented Comment · May 30, 2022

...I actually read the terms & conditions...


...at least most of the time...

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NewHope
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NewHope commented Comment · May 28, 2022

The absolute truth... unutterable truth...

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Bellarke
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Bellarke commented Comment · Feb 15, 2018

That is so true. If people want it they will lie. The terms and conditions is literally on everything, little kids games, too. Like, half of the people that play those games, cant even read them. I loved how you did this, because it is the truth of the present and the future, like for real.

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Hijinks
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Hijinks commented Comment · Jul 19, 2017

I agree with @Snoink that this is more of a blog or profile thing, not really a literary work, but it's still rather funny, and I've definitely done number 2 ;)

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deleted21
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deleted21 commented Comment · Sep 24, 2015

I used to read all the terms/conditions but I don't now :/ That's probably the only thing :/ and ain't lying!

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erilea
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erilea commented Comment · Jul 22, 2014

Two things:
The title should be "The Three Biggest Lies On The Internet". And also, the last line I think should say, You know, it's all true.

I like this, I will read more of your works! If you have any more...this is great?

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Jul 22, 2014

I have probably sold my soul several times, with regards to not reading the terms and conditions. But that's okay. I think...

Still! I am going to point out that this isn't very original and it seems more like a FB status update or a funny internet picture or a funny blog or whatever than an actual literary work. So, not going to like it, because it is not a literary work. But, I was amused at least!

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EgTucks
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EgTucks commented Comment · Jul 21, 2014

Haha, I found this piece to be clever and funny, nice job

I thank you for the kind comment, but you know, not the most original idea ever. XD this sort of thing seems to be floating around already.

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Elinor565
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Elinor565 commented Comment · Jul 21, 2014

I suddenly feel so ashamed...

erilea replied · Jul 22, 2014

Me tooo!

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Apricity
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Yup, I was the 28th! XD

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Holysocks
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Holysocks commented Comment · Jul 21, 2014

1. I only do that when I'm in a rush... like, really in a rush.

2. I read the important parts. XP

3. I'm not 18, and I've never lied about it. I honestly don't see a reason to. O.o

I know what you mean though.

Well, I actually go invisible when I'm busy. O.O

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Purple29
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Purple29 commented Comment · Jul 21, 2014

Haha, indeed it is!

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Sassafras
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Kelpies
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Kelpies commented Comment · Jul 21, 2014

1. Not guilty.
2-3. Guilty on so many levels!

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Editor
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Editor commented Comment · Jul 20, 2014

Ha ha, yup. Guilty.

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ConfusedGlasses
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ConfusedGlasses commented Comment · Jul 20, 2014

Well face it, who has the friggin time?!

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SirenCymbaline
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SirenCymbaline commented Comment · Jul 20, 2014

Guilty as charged.

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Hadj
Review
Hadj wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2014

Hey there Flite!
Hadj here to review your... thing :P

Nitpicks
Just one:

You know, is all true.

should be
You know, it's all true.


Criticism
This isn't quite a "literary work"
Personally, I would put this somewhere in the forum.
I think it could use some analysis, thus taking the form of an essay and being more enjoyable to read.

Praise
Although simple and short, this work is rather humorous and clever. I applaud your analysis and I admit I laughed while reading this.

Conclusion
Overall, great work, but I hope you add some content to it in the future

Keep writing,
Hadj

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rhiasofia
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rhiasofia commented Comment · Jul 19, 2014

Image

thought it was a bit too similar for comfort.

O.o Ok, I have never seen that website before. But meh, I'm not surprised. I probably won't be the first to comment on such things.

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r4p17
Review
r4p17 wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2014

Knight r4 here to review this work. I am not quite sure what to say about this. The reason I am reviewing this is because I haven't reviewed a whole lot in the past few days and the title caught my eye. So I guess we will see where this goes. I certainly hope this helps you.

Number one is probably true to a certain extent, though to be honest with you people who have there status set to away when they are online probably don't want to be disturbed. That makes me hesitate as to whether I should believe that even if they're online.

Number two is also true, though that is merely because most of those things are just legal jargon, or just not worth reading because they are inapplicable. I am not even sure why some companies ever bother to write all that stuff. Maybe is something that they require.

I must say that I have to agree with you on the third an final one. On the other hand though, it is stupid that you are required to be a certain age of Gmail or Facebook for instance. I myself am not on Facebook and there was no age limit that I knew of for Gmail when I joined.

Overall I thought this was good. I guess you didn't really intend for this to be an essay, though I think that it would be interesting to see that happen. But you probably just meant for this to be a little more general based on the title. I agree with most of the things that you said, even if I might have sounded like I didn't. I was just trying to clarify what you meant because I thought you could have elaborated a little more. Happy writing!!! :D

Ps. By the way, have you ever done any of the three things that you listed here? Just curious. :P

I'm surprised people even liked this, it was just basically ranting bitterly. XD I have done the last two a lot, but not so much the first. But I know for a fact, that plenty of others have.

This is a rather random comment, but there's some agency or something that requires children to be 13 or older before they're allowed to register for most websites. If a website allows people 12 or younger to join, the website has to meet a ton of really strict requirements (no swearing anywhere on the site, everything has to be "G rated," etc.) It's kind of silly, but it's a law

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Wriskypump
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Wriskypump commented Comment · Jul 19, 2014

I can't agree with number 1. But the rest apply to me. *bows*

Number one hasn't applied that much to me, is invisible that applies to me.

so you could very well be invisible as I speak. And I'd be none the wiser.

But I'm your imagination remember? All jokes aside, I was sleeping.

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ExOmelas
Review
ExOmelas wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2014

heehee, I know what you mean.

Just the one nit-pick:

'You know, is all true.' - shouldn't 'is' be 'it's'?

I'm not sure about the italics. I feel like the direct speech (sort of) should be in normal type and the lies should be something special (maybe bold or something). That doesn't really make any difference. Just a suggestion.

I have done 2/3. I have no idea how to change the status thingy but I don't doubt that I would if I could.

I've also never done the 18 years of age but I've done 16 so that's roughly the same.

I think this is incredibly perceptive and I think it's good to acknowledge that everyone does this. I was going to suggest making the list longer and give an example but I couldn't think of one so I guess this must be pretty much all-encompassing.

Well done :)

You're right about the it's thing. I should add the 16 thing on, shouldn't I? Thanks for the review!

If you want. It's the same message anyway. *shrugs*
You're welcome :)

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Taxi
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Taxi commented Comment · Jul 19, 2014

Too true! Too true.

XD Thanks!



Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
— George Eliot