Cranium Clouds

Hello oh SaneSuptleness (or something like that)
This is a very nice poem. I was a little taken aback by the lack of punctuation in this piece, but was reassured by the fact that the line breaks insert the natural pauses.
I, like your previous reviewer, believe that your last line fell a little flat. However, seeing as you have the concept of falling in the last line, perhaps you could expand on that. So something like:
"Calming her as she fell
Like scuttering stone
And left her feeling so alone."
Just a suggestion, feel free to ignore, mutate, or anything you wish!
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

I really was interested by the title of this for one, and then I read the actual poem and I really love how night is personified and how you structure each stanza
Good Job!!

Good title. Lovin the alliteration.

Since this work is quite short, I am going to review it line by line. So...


The night spoke little to her - you have personified the night here, which makes it sound very personal and also professional.

But murmurs of vacuous space - I found this line to be contradictory to the first one, but I enjoyed the language

And she felt the hole in her heart - this line is a little bit cliche, but it paints a vivid image of the protagonist in pain/heartache.

Longing for warmth and human touch - this line creates empathy for the unnamed protagonist as they are obviously experiencing some sort of loneliness.


The quarter moon hung limp in the sky - I can almost see the moon hanging from a rope here, excellent line.

In a warm of cranium clouds, coloured black - I am assuming you mean clouds shaped like brains? Or thoughtful clouds? This line wasn't all that clear. Which is a shame, because it's obviously the eponymous line.

And she felt - the enjambement here was a good idea. I really like it.

as the moon looked down at her - the personification, or you could call it pathetic fallacy, has been continued here, and it works really well in making a narrative and making the setting into more of a character of its own.

The chilling touch of death - again, a little cliche, reminds me of some Gothic literature I studied before.

Claiming her as she fell - this use of language works well, because it makes the action seem much more dramatic. Good job.

Into a blissful sleep - I felt this line was a bit anti-climactic to be honest.

I enjoyed reading the rest of the piece, but this ending disappointed my senses a little.

Still, good job.

Keep writing.

XD

I like the eclectic feel of the end. Death is such a nasty subject in most cases, but a "blissful sleep" doesn't sound to bad. Everyone should die at night.

From a writing standpoint, I like it. Sometimes poetry is to frivolous, and sometimes it's just blunt and says what it says. This evokes enough emotion to cause the reader to think and ponder, but doesn't try to overwhelm them with all of this extra stuff. Beautifully done.

Thank you SubtleSanity!