Young Writers Society

I'm not writing lately, but I'm okay with that! I have a lot of creative endeavors that come and go and sometimes they re-make an appears in my like and sometimes they don't. Writing for me often comes and goes for me too- so I'm sure when I'm in a spot where I want to write, I'll do that again!

But anyway, I've been actually doing really good lately. Like REALLY good. Like the best I've ever been in my life good- which is, really really nice. This is mainly due to me finally caving and trying anxiety meds (obviously prescribed by a doctor). And MAN, what a difference that has made for me! I always knew I was an anxious person, but I didn't realize just how gripped I was by it- I didn't realize that life could be so good and simple without general anxiety. Even though I'm turning 27 this year, it feels like I'm JUST for the first time entering my 20s, like the world is suddenly unlocked for me and everything I could ever want is at my finger tips and all I have to do is just- do it. Which seems so obvious but before it wasn't that simple!


I've mentioned on my wall before about how I had a lot of anxiety around driving. Even very short distances and routes that I'd driven countless times would make me anxious to drive. BUT NOW, for the FIRST TIME EVER I am FREE!!! Like actually FREE!!! I can drive and I am just chill. I can go SO MANY places that I couldn't before because I was terrified. So yeah, I'm over the freaking moon these days!!! And I also don't feel anxiety for no reason anymore. I used to just get anxious while at home, just doing something I enjoy even, for no reason. Now I don't. It's such a relief!! But also, I didn't realize that wasn't normal. Like people just feel fine all the time?? WHY didn't anyone tell me? XD haha

In other news, I'm going to be an AUNT!!! I'm SO EXCITED. My sister is due in the middle-end of May, so it's very soon now and I am a giant ball of anticipation- I can't even imagine what that's like for my sister and her husband!!

Also I've been doing a lot of art. Maybe I'll share some here sometimes- although I've forgotten how to in the forums, heh. And I've been going to local art groups and it's been really nice! Most of the people there are middle aged to senior women, but that doesn't bother me at all.

I quit my job at the fabric store awhile ago (before I started taking anxiety meds) because I was super super burnt out and a mess. But thankfully now I'm doing REALLY WELL. And the other I applied somewhere else for a job- which I'm really hoping works out, but we'll see.

ALSO I went hiking the other day with my boyfriend and his friends and for the first time EVER on a hike I felt like "Wow this is so nice!". I think the meds I'm on are helping with depression too and I didn't realize how exhausted I was by things that are normally supposed to be... fun? And it's amazing to be able to enjoy those things. I don't remember a time before this when I wasn't at least a little anxious about something that was supposed to be fun. I don't know how to express this feeling enough. If I wasn't so happy and excited, it would be devastating realizing my entire childhood, teenagerhood, and a good chunk of my twenties were locked away behind anxiety, and depression (depression most likely as a result of the anxiety- apparently those two sort of feed off each other).

But anyway, I'm doing really really well.

I do feel bad for not keeping in better contact with friends from YWS. I'm sorry if you're one of the ones whose friendship I've let drift away. You all mean the world to me and I hope you're doing amazing as well.

It's so good to be excited for life again, let me tell ya.