Spoiler! :
I'm in a very weird emotional space right now where I'm simultaneously doing better than I've done in a long time, and feeling excruciatingly anxious and insecure. On the one hand, I have a wonderful partner (I genuinely don't think I could've dreamed up someone lovelier and more compatible) and my gender dysphoria is at a minimum and I spent the summer doing a job I loved. On the other hand, all my close friends are moving away and I'm moving to a new place and I've decided to change my name again (and that can of worms is incredibly overwhelming). I told my friend on a call last night that I don't feel qualified for any of this—being in my university program, being in a relationship, picking my own name, living on my own—and I think that sums up the overwhelm I'm feeling pretty well. I just feel so vastly under qualified to be running my own life, but I'm at an age where I am the only person who can be running it. What to make of that contradiction??
I’ve become a corporate slave so all I’m reading are documents. They’re so stiff and dry lol. It’s been so difficult to be creative. But other than that, quite like my job. But no, I wish it just drops on my lap as well. I only had the motivation to write a poem the other day because I miss yws and writing here so much. It’s been so looong
i hope you have an absolutely splendiferous day!!
hope it is very poem
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Sep 14, 2024