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The three biggest lies on the internet

by Apricity

1. Status: Away

2. I've read and agreed to the above terms/conditions.

3. I'm over 18 years of age.

Don't lie to me.

You know, it's all true.

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416 Reviews

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Reviews: 416

Tue May 31, 2022 7:21 pm
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Willard says...

it's always too funny to see this pop up time and time again

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76 Reviews

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Mon May 30, 2022 11:25 am
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Phillauthet says...

...I actually read the terms & conditions... least most of the time...

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25 Reviews

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Sat May 28, 2022 1:46 pm
Moonglade says...

The absolute truth... unutterable truth...

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113 Reviews

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Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:11 pm
Bellarke says...

That is so true. If people want it they will lie. The terms and conditions is literally on everything, little kids games, too. Like, half of the people that play those games, cant even read them. I loved how you did this, because it is the truth of the present and the future, like for real.

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403 Reviews

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Reviews: 403

Wed Jul 19, 2017 12:30 am
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Seirre says...

I agree with @Snoink that this is more of a blog or profile thing, not really a literary work, but it's still rather funny, and I've definitely done number 2 ;)

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Thu Sep 24, 2015 7:37 pm
deleted21 says...

I used to read all the terms/conditions but I don't now :/ That's probably the only thing :/ and ain't lying!

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558 Reviews

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Reviews: 558

Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:58 pm
erilea says...

Two things:
The title should be "The Three Biggest Lies On The Internet". And also, the last line I think should say, You know, it's all true.

I like this, I will read more of your works! If you have any more...this is great?

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3752 Reviews

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Reviews: 3752

Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:43 pm
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Snoink wrote a review...

I have probably sold my soul several times, with regards to not reading the terms and conditions. But that's okay. I think...

Still! I am going to point out that this isn't very original and it seems more like a FB status update or a funny internet picture or a funny blog or whatever than an actual literary work. So, not going to like it, because it is not a literary work. But, I was amused at least!

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Points: 296
Reviews: 7

Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:21 pm
EgTucks says...

Haha, I found this piece to be clever and funny, nice job

Apricity says...

I thank you for the kind comment, but you know, not the most original idea ever. XD this sort of thing seems to be floating around already.

erilea says...


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12 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:24 pm
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Elinor565 says...

I suddenly feel so ashamed...

erilea says...

Me tooo!

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475 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:02 am
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Apricity says...

This got 28 likes? O_o

Holysocks says...

Yup, I was the 28th! XD

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494 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:30 am
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Holysocks says...

1. I only do that when I'm in a rush... like, really in a rush.

2. I read the important parts. XP

3. I'm not 18, and I've never lied about it. I honestly don't see a reason to. O.o

I know what you mean though.

Holysocks says...

Well, I actually go invisible when I'm busy. O.O

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15 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:33 am
Purple29 says...

Haha, indeed it is!

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161 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:37 am
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Sassafras says...

I'm actually 19 so I don't have to lie anymore. *flips hair*

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223 Reviews

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Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:32 am
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Kelpies says...

1. Not guilty.
2-3. Guilty on so many levels!

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7 Reviews

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Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:59 pm
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Editor says...

Ha ha, yup. Guilty.

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86 Reviews

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Sun Jul 20, 2014 5:52 pm
ConfusedGlasses says...

Well face it, who has the friggin time?!

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59 Reviews

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Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:09 pm
SirenCymbaline says...

Guilty as charged.

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78 Reviews

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Sat Jul 19, 2014 10:33 pm
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Hadj wrote a review...

Hey there Flite!
Hadj here to review your... thing :P

#FF0000 ">Nitpicks
Just one:

You know, is all true.

should be
You know, it's all true.

#FF0000 ">Criticism
This isn't quite a "literary work"
Personally, I would put this somewhere in the forum.
I think it could use some analysis, thus taking the form of an essay and being more enjoyable to read.

#FF0000 ">Praise
Although simple and short, this work is rather humorous and clever. I applaud your analysis and I admit I laughed while reading this.

#FF0000 ">Conclusion
Overall, great work, but I hope you add some content to it in the future

Keep writing,

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208 Reviews

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Reviews: 208

Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:16 pm
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rhiasofia says...


thought it was a bit too similar for comfort.

Apricity says...

O.o Ok, I have never seen that website before. But meh, I'm not surprised. I probably won't be the first to comment on such things.

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179 Reviews

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Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:48 pm
r4p17 wrote a review...

Knight r4 here to review this work. I am not quite sure what to say about this. The reason I am reviewing this is because I haven't reviewed a whole lot in the past few days and the title caught my eye. So I guess we will see where this goes. I certainly hope this helps you.

Number one is probably true to a certain extent, though to be honest with you people who have there status set to away when they are online probably don't want to be disturbed. That makes me hesitate as to whether I should believe that even if they're online.

Number two is also true, though that is merely because most of those things are just legal jargon, or just not worth reading because they are inapplicable. I am not even sure why some companies ever bother to write all that stuff. Maybe is something that they require.

I must say that I have to agree with you on the third an final one. On the other hand though, it is stupid that you are required to be a certain age of Gmail or Facebook for instance. I myself am not on Facebook and there was no age limit that I knew of for Gmail when I joined.

Overall I thought this was good. I guess you didn't really intend for this to be an essay, though I think that it would be interesting to see that happen. But you probably just meant for this to be a little more general based on the title. I agree with most of the things that you said, even if I might have sounded like I didn't. I was just trying to clarify what you meant because I thought you could have elaborated a little more. Happy writing!!! :D

Ps. By the way, have you ever done any of the three things that you listed here? Just curious. :P

Apricity says...

I'm surprised people even liked this, it was just basically ranting bitterly. XD I have done the last two a lot, but not so much the first. But I know for a fact, that plenty of others have.

queerelves says...

This is a rather random comment, but there's some agency or something that requires children to be 13 or older before they're allowed to register for most websites. If a website allows people 12 or younger to join, the website has to meet a ton of really strict requirements (no swearing anywhere on the site, everything has to be "G rated," etc.) It's kind of silly, but it's a law

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129 Reviews

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Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:17 pm
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Wriskypump says...

I can't agree with number 1. But the rest apply to me. *bows*

Apricity says...

Number one hasn't applied that much to me, is invisible that applies to me.

Wriskypump says...

so you could very well be invisible as I speak. And I'd be none the wiser.

Apricity says...

But I'm your imagination remember? All jokes aside, I was sleeping.

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760 Reviews

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Sat Jul 19, 2014 11:44 am
ExOmelas wrote a review...

heehee, I know what you mean.

Just the one nit-pick:

'You know, is all true.' - shouldn't 'is' be 'it's'?

I'm not sure about the italics. I feel like the direct speech (sort of) should be in normal type and the lies should be something special (maybe bold or something). That doesn't really make any difference. Just a suggestion.

I have done 2/3. I have no idea how to change the status thingy but I don't doubt that I would if I could.

I've also never done the 18 years of age but I've done 16 so that's roughly the same.

I think this is incredibly perceptive and I think it's good to acknowledge that everyone does this. I was going to suggest making the list longer and give an example but I couldn't think of one so I guess this must be pretty much all-encompassing.

Well done :)

Apricity says...

You're right about the it's thing. I should add the 16 thing on, shouldn't I? Thanks for the review!

ExOmelas says...

If you want. It's the same message anyway. *shrugs*
You're welcome :)

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Sat Jul 19, 2014 11:08 am
Taxi says...

Too true! Too true.

Apricity says...

XD Thanks!

Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman