My father drowns his sorrows
In the morrow
With a cold cup of Earl grey tea
He thinks I do not notice
The shot of vodka swirling amidst the black liquid
My father drowns his sorrows
Whence the sun is at its highest
In a bowl of half-cooked rice
He thinks I do not know
The aluminium caps in the wash cloth
My father drowns his sorrows
When sun’s reign come to an end
In the endless reflections of himself
He cannot hide
The hollowing thud of spirits
As they emptied out his mind
Oh, father.
Why must you....
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Hi Suble! Gaurav here for a short review. I have to make it clear that I am writing this without looking at the previous reviews.
) In a few stanzas the idea alcohol takes the charge of the poem while the emotions don't flow the way they should. I guess you could proofread it and everything will be fine. I can't exactly point out anything more than this [I really loved the poem] 
I felt quite touched with your poem. Frankly I loved it. The emotions were overwhelming so was the description. 'Alcoholic father' is an idea where most would have got carried away, but you have subtly used it. Too much, yet so less' is my opinion about your poem.
Frankly I am quite weak with technical terms so I will give some personal suggestions. The hollowness which is created in father's life due to alcohol can be explored a bit more (Maybe a couple of stanza's
Great Job, Keep writing, Keep reviewing
You're right, I will play around with the stanzas a bit though I didn't want to make this poem overly long. Since it might bore some of the readers. Thanks for the review!
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
I have to echo @Em101cats because I love how you only hint at the problems but never quite say it outright.
I love the time elapses and how smoothly the poem flowed. I know I always have a huge problem with time changes, so I hugely admire how you wrote this.
I love the line "the hollowing thud of spirits," because the imagery is so beautiful-- I could totally /hear/ those spirits thudding. Fantastic!
I give this a nine of ten because I LOVED IT. It made me /feel/ something, which is really difficult to write. Great job!!
Awww, thank you, your highness. I'm flattered.
This was lovely! Hang on, let me re-read it and I'll write a review.
Hi, Em101cats is here to review!
I think this poem is AMAZING!
What I loved most is how you hint at the things your father is doing wrong, but you never blurt it out exactly. What ruins poems is when they are supposed to hide the actual words and hint it but they hint it too much and it's way too easy. But you haven't done that, I feel that readers must think hard, but not too hard, to find the true meaning. And I love that, I really do!
I feel that the meaning of this poem is right. Why does alcohol have to ruin the lives of the innocent? Perfectly good people get drunk and instantly can become bad people. Alcohol is the demon's drink in my opinion. I love this, keep up the great writing!
Thank you!