Born in a nation knee deep in a mire of shame
With political pigs squealing sounds
Strangely rooted in the language of debauchery.
Everyday, I see the horns of the mighty
Scattered across the world
As I sit at home waiting
To suck the remains of their excrement.
Hoping to find the odour of hope
Submerged in the sweet smell of hypocrisy.
Can I still be a true Nigerian?
To that, I say a resounding yes!
The very demons that plague the soul of our nation
Bring out the saints that we are
Cowering in the shadows...
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137,940 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Damn!
i don't think we can say this enough.
Brother, i am so with you #bringbackourgirls #prayforNigeria
OK, away from sentiments...this is your review
Firstly, the arrangement, font styling and stanza of this is so catchy, i love it. You have this talent for poetic beauty and you put that to great use. O! how these lines flowed together in a sync that can only be imagined in the kisses of a cliche romantic book.
That being said, i think you need to work on some punctuation, if not, the sentence might end up sounding a lot different than is intended.
i also loved the pun (or was it?) in this line: "Hoping to find the odour of hope, submerged in the sweet smell of hypocrisy". Here's why; i never knew of anyone interested in an odour or even hoping for it and there's also the fact that hope would be the sweet smell and not hypocrisy. Then there's hoping to find hope, it's like a cycle......i can't put this in words!
But even with all this, the writer still finds reasons to believe in his nation, if that's not patriotism, i don't know what is.
Temi, all your pieces are a beauty and this is probably your finest yet but i deplore you.......get a better title!!
And that's your review,
much love,
XOXO
Bee!
Perfect!!!!! Wonderful!!!! I love this, but think the meaning could be clearer. Is it about the government and economy? Is it about family? I don't get it.
But other then that this is great!!!!!!!!! Fantastic!!!!!!! I can't think of any thing else to describe this. It is so good I just want to read it again and again!!!!!!!!! There aren't any spelling oir grammar mistakes, but however, this isn't really a poem.
All in all, though, I LOVE this piece!!!!!!!!!!!