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E - Everyone

A True Nigerian

by Temi

Born in a nation knee deep in a mire of shame

With political pigs squealing sounds

Strangely rooted in the language of debauchery.

Everyday, I see the horns of the mighty

Scattered across the world

As I sit at home waiting

To suck the remains of their excrement.

Hoping to find the odour of hope

Submerged in the sweet smell of hypocrisy.

Can I still be a true Nigerian?

To that, I say a resounding yes!

The very demons that plague the soul of our nation

Bring out the saints that we are

Cowering in the shadows...

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50 Reviews

Points: 254
Reviews: 50

Wed May 28, 2014 2:03 pm
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beeyaay wrote a review...

i don't think we can say this enough.
Brother, i am so with you #bringbackourgirls #prayforNigeria
OK, away from sentiments...this is your review
Firstly, the arrangement, font styling and stanza of this is so catchy, i love it. You have this talent for poetic beauty and you put that to great use. O! how these lines flowed together in a sync that can only be imagined in the kisses of a cliche romantic book.
That being said, i think you need to work on some punctuation, if not, the sentence might end up sounding a lot different than is intended.
i also loved the pun (or was it?) in this line: "Hoping to find the odour of hope, submerged in the sweet smell of hypocrisy". Here's why; i never knew of anyone interested in an odour or even hoping for it and there's also the fact that hope would be the sweet smell and not hypocrisy. Then there's hoping to find hope, it's like a cycle......i can't put this in words!
But even with all this, the writer still finds reasons to believe in his nation, if that's not patriotism, i don't know what is.
Temi, all your pieces are a beauty and this is probably your finest yet but i deplore you.......get a better title!! :D :D ;)
And that's your review,
much love,

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11 Reviews

Points: 713
Reviews: 11

Wed May 28, 2014 1:42 pm
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swampperson wrote a review...

Perfect!!!!! Wonderful!!!! I love this, but think the meaning could be clearer. Is it about the government and economy? Is it about family? I don't get it.
But other then that this is great!!!!!!!!! Fantastic!!!!!!! I can't think of any thing else to describe this. It is so good I just want to read it again and again!!!!!!!!! There aren't any spelling oir grammar mistakes, but however, this isn't really a poem.
All in all, though, I LOVE this piece!!!!!!!!!!!

Attention is the beginning of devotion.
— Mary Oliver, Upstream