Outside your window

by Temi

Published April 20, 2011

In Poems

I know a place.
It’s just outside your window,
With mesmerising beauty;
You can’t begin to fathom.

In this place,
Are our people;
With skins,
That glistens in the sun.

We take pleasure,
in our nights.
As we beat our drums,
To the howls of our hounds.

Our brother is the wind;
Our sister,
In her we swim.

Leap into the bosom,
Of my spirit;
And watch in awe,
As we dance to the voice of the mountains.

Come to my land.
Wallow in its beauty;
Unfold the essence of who we are;
Hear our voices and tremble.

Come with me.
And I’ll show you that world,
That’s just outside,
Your window.

Comments & reviews · 3
VousEsEtonnant wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2011

The title makes it sound creepy. But man is this good!

Nitpicks:

"Glistens" should be glisten. Or make "skins" skin.

The second verse uses "our" too much. I know its for emphasis, but thats too much.

Wallow in its beauty? Sounds a bit off.

Other than that, great job! Good imagery, fantastic emotions. It has a comely feel. Fantadtic keep writing!!!!!!

User avatar
Boolovesyou
Comment
Boolovesyou commented Comment · Apr 20, 2011

The name suggest a very stalker like poem. xD I liked it though.



An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that life's going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming.
— Unknown