I know a place.
It’s just outside your window,
With mesmerising beauty;
You can’t begin to fathom.
In this place,
Are our people;
With skins,
That glistens in the sun.
We take pleasure,
in our nights.
As we beat our drums,
To the howls of our hounds.
Our brother is the wind;
Our sister,
In her we swim.
Leap into the bosom,
Of my spirit;
And watch in awe,
As we dance to the voice of the mountains.
Come to my land.
Wallow in its beauty;
Unfold the essence of who we are;
Hear our voices and tremble.
Come with me.
And I’ll show you that world,
That’s just outside,
Your window.
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The title makes it sound creepy. But man is this good!
Nitpicks:
"Glistens" should be glisten. Or make "skins" skin.
The second verse uses "our" too much. I know its for emphasis, but thats too much.
Wallow in its beauty? Sounds a bit off.
Other than that, great job! Good imagery, fantastic emotions. It has a comely feel. Fantadtic keep writing!!!!!!
The name suggest a very stalker like poem. xD I liked it though.