Outside your window

by Temi

Published April 20, 2011

In Poems

I know a place.
It’s just outside your window,
With mesmerising beauty;
You can’t begin to fathom.

In this place,
Are our people;
With skins,
That glistens in the sun.

We take pleasure,
in our nights.
As we beat our drums,
To the howls of our hounds.

Our brother is the wind;
Our sister,
In her we swim.

Leap into the bosom,
Of my spirit;
And watch in awe,
As we dance to the voice of the mountains.

Come to my land.
Wallow in its beauty;
Unfold the essence of who we are;
Hear our voices and tremble.

Come with me.
And I’ll show you that world,
That’s just outside,
Your window.

Comments & reviews · 3
VousEsEtonnant wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2011

The title makes it sound creepy. But man is this good!

Nitpicks:

"Glistens" should be glisten. Or make "skins" skin.

The second verse uses "our" too much. I know its for emphasis, but thats too much.

Wallow in its beauty? Sounds a bit off.

Other than that, great job! Good imagery, fantastic emotions. It has a comely feel. Fantadtic keep writing!!!!!!

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Boolovesyou
Comment
Boolovesyou commented Comment · Apr 20, 2011

The name suggest a very stalker like poem. xD I liked it though.



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