z

Young Writers Society



Where in the world?

by EmilieHaugaard


The woods are a lonely place.
It’s a quiet home for a teary-eyed child.
The trees are good friends,
to a listener.

It’s a sign of affection,
when the lights from above say heaven is here.
The ground pulls me down,
with a warm embrace.

Where in the world is a home,
for a kid who’s been losing herself for too long?
This house of green has
always welcomed me.


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Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:43 pm
Gummy wrote a review...



Hello~ Gummy's my name, reviewing is my game!

I've camped out in the woods before, so I can confidently say that I really grasped the feeling expressed when the poem mentions "the lights from above [that] say heaven is here". In my case, it reminded me of the rays of sunrise that seep through the branches and pour down onto the earth below like spotlights. c:

I love how you refer to the woods as a sort of paradise or refuge. The entire poem is like an antithesis to the stereotypical view of the "creepy, haunted woods" that you often see in many forms of media. Anyway, the grammar and punctuation flow very cleanly, save for the aforementioned comma in Line 9, and I congratulate you for this regardless, because this is a very nice work. It could be a little longer, though, but that's just me. I'm more of a fan of twenty-to-forty-line poems. But, hey, if that's your style, you're better off sticking to it! If you remember to stay true to yourself, you'll go far in the writing world. :D

As always, keep writing, and keep raising the bar while you're at it! This is Gummy, signing out.






Thank you for the review:)



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Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:42 pm
Cheetah wrote a review...



Hi there EmilieHaugaard! Cheetah here, ready to review your piece.

First off, this was really good! I like your style, the way the last two lines are always split, it gives you a sort of pause that I think is nice to have.

I absolutely love this first bit:

The woods are a lonely place.
It’s a quiet home for a teary-eyed child.
The trees are good friends,
to a listener.

I've never really thought about the woods in that way, and I think you did a marvelous job of describing.

I really liked this poem. Thanks so much for sharing, and keep writing!






Thank you for the review:)



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417 Reviews


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Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:25 pm
Willard wrote a review...



BOOMSTICK
Ash Strangelove and I have a review for you!
I honestly enjoyed this poem. It surprised me on it's quality and execution.
I'm not calling you a bad poet or anything
But sometimes the execution and quality can be lacking on most poems
Pros: The description. It was done near perfection. After I got done reading this poem it put quite a big smile on my face. It was really impressive. The emotion is strong and it's true. It's true how the only place where you can release your emotion is in the forest.
Cons: I didn't get the flow. That's about it. I wouldn't call it confusing. It is at first, but re-read it two more times and it's not
Great job
Ash Strangelove gives you...
8.1/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay Groovy






Thank you for the review:)



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Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:53 pm
chancesnchanges says...



Hi!
You're poem is nicely constructed. It tells a story of someone who finds a place to vent her emotions. Where she can thoroughly think without disruptions, a place that she can call as her silent sanctuary. Something that we need when we want to wind up and to sort our thoughts.
Keep going.. =^)






Thank you for the review:)



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Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:27 am
RainbowPowerPonies wrote a review...



Hello! Nice to meet you I'm Crystal and will be reviewing one of your work now! Let me say it's beautiful and amazing from the start!

OK! This is a great work i loved it when I read it but as much as I loved it I was confused! I read through it and I didn't understand what it was about. That's my only question, beautiful literary words, fabulous spelling and grammar, and It's wonderful... but I don't understand it. Maybe It's just me but can you go through and read it aloud to yourself to see if it's confusing at all? Thanks! Keep writing, I know it'll make me happy! Please do!


~Crystal (or any nickname you wish :D!)






Thank you for the review:)



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Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:25 am
DreamWork wrote a review...



Hi EmilieHaugaard,happy review day.So here is Dark to give review on your poem.

Where is the world?-->This title 'compels' me to read it.So just let me review in each stanzas! ;)

#The woods are a lonely place.-->Strong Imaginary here,I can imagine how lonely is it.
It’s a quiet home for a teary-eyed child.-->Now you added one more character in your poem,a teary-eyed child.This successfully attract my attention to keep reading till the end.
The trees are good friends,
to a listener.

#It’s a sign of affection,
when the lights from above, says heaven is here.-->Very well written from these lines.
The ground pulls me down,-->I finally realized that the 'teary-eyed child' is yourself.
with a warm embrace.

#Where in the world is a home,
for a kid who’s been losing herself for too long?
This house of green has
always welcomed me. -->Now I start to think about 'Tarzan'!You're living in the woods because there is no place for you even though in your own home.It may also give a symbolic meaning of a kid that suffered a dilemma.

Where in the world is a home,
for a kid who’s been losing herself for too long?


No one wants to hear it or she(You) ignored at home.Perhaps a quiet place like a woods better understanding of it.

The trees are good friends,
to a listener. The ground pulls me down,
with a warm embrace.


Overall,this is a very interesting poem!I enjoyed reading every piece of it and you really have a strong diction too.No problem with rhythm ,it's flow smoothly and fit with each lines.Good job!Keep writing and reviewing in YWS.
Kudos,cheers
~Dark






Thank you for the review :)



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Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:38 pm
Messenger says...



Knight Malachi here to review.
Knight Dragon got all the technical errors; onto the poem itself. It was very nicely written; a somewhat calm and slow-paced poem.It has a somewhat sad, but still hopeful message in it as well, and your imagery is beautiful. Good job!
Keep it up!






Thank you :)



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Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:03 pm
dragonfphoenix wrote a review...



Knight Dragon, here to review!

Technical:
"when the lights from above, says heaven is here." I felt like the comma needs to go, and "says" should be "say" for subject verb number agreement.
"Where in the world is a home," get rid of the comma. It breaks up the flow where there needs to be freedom.

Other than that I liked how you kept it focused on your main theme and stuck with it. Good job.

Hope this helps!






Thank you for the review :)




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