I did this poem for a descriptive writing exercise at school. It is inspired by this quote from George Orwell in his novel 1984:
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever."
The future is the smell of toe-sweat,
pushing up through your nostrils,
clutching your brain in a firm grip.
It’s dirt in your eyes,
grit tearing at your cornea,
ripping the tears from your eyes.
It’s the feeling of cracked leather,
rubbing against your skin –
sandpaper turning your features old and ugly.
It’s shoelaces tightly wrapped around you neck.
It’s a boot stamping on your face, over and over and over again.
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This caught me interest because I read 1984 in English last school year (which ended last month with my graduation
). I don't remember who said the quote, but I imagine O'Brien saying all of this while interrogating Winston, or perhaps marching around saying it while the thoughtcriminal it being beaten by the thought police.
It very much fits the book, and the word choice was terrific. It seems like it was taken right out of the text, instead of being an original work! I could just imagine all of this; ouch, that dirt in my eyes hurts!
Thank you:)
This an incredibly intriguing poem. I'm very fond of the novel on which this poem is based, and I think that you've captured the feelings, the pathos, if you will, that made 1984 a great literary work. The only problems are minor, run of the mill syntax issues, and while they don't much interfere with clarity, I'll point them out briefly so that they can be fixed at a later date.
Generally speaking, when writing this sort of poetry, you either capitalize the beginning of every line or you don't capitalize anything. Since this is for an assignment, I'd suggest you go with the former, since that's a more widely accepted format.
The only other problems that I can find are the misspelling of "your" in the penultimate line, and that "stomping" would work better than "stamping" in the final line.
I'd like to congratulate you on writing a compellingly chilling bit of poetry, and I look forwards to reading more of your work in the future.
Thank you for the review:D
You're very welcome!
This poem brings a very horrifying image. If i were to change it, i would insure the safety of our species. But, i still like it. Keep writing poetry. The way you write it is very, very good.
Thank you:)
Hey, an adorable piece of work.I'm oblige to feel jealous, for you sounded a bit like me.
The message passed in the poem is very powerful, as relating to the quote that inspired it.And that is one aspect of poetry that many fail to truly uphold. I bet your teacher would give u 99% if not a hundred. Imagery is completely utilized which is one thing i envy.Simple wordings, easy to read and grasp no friction whatsoever. Great work, I am sure George Orwell would be exclusively proud, if he sees this work.Lack of regular rhymes but steady and constant rhythm place this work above all.
Please do accept my sincere gratitude, for this work has particularly inspired me.
Thank.
Thank you so much!
Hope I could smile now, but i"m in a clinic.
Tega Majemite, at your stewardship!