z

Young Writers Society



Without Inspiration

by WritingWolf


Poems and poems,
They flood my mind.
I can't seem to write them down,
But for the occasional few.
 
Inspiration evades my grasp.
No matter how hard I try,
How many times I reach out,
I clasp only wisps.
 
Stories swirl around each other.
Again and again and again.
Impossible to comprehend.
Always teasing me.
 
Ideas I cannot write.
I want to, I really do.
But again and again,
I find they have left me.
 
Why does this happen to me?
How come it doesn't go away?
What can I do to overcome this?
These I ask myself, with no answer.


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Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:33 am
Aley wrote a review...



So this is a perfect candidate for reductive poetry ^.- In other words, taking things out to improve the poem. I'd really love to go through this poem with you in the future and show you how to edit out things which are repetitive, something you've heard before, or don't make sense after you take out the first two. It will be a good exercise. If you'd like to try on your own, feel free to do so. Basically just try to take out things which are said multiple times, like words that you repeat, or phrases that are repeated from other things, and see what you're left with. When you see that, expand on things that you think create a vivid image, but it's not complete, and see where it gets you. When you get good at writing poems with vivid images, sometimes it ends up being a process of getting rid of all other images but one.




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:14 pm
Blackwood wrote a review...



So another poem on writers block? I love the irony of these. Often they do reflect what you are going through at the time as I can feel the forcefulness of the words, however this sometimes turns it better in on itself.

"Poems and poems,"
I am unsure why you chose to write poems and poems when you could have written another word that poetically describes poems in a metaphorical sense.

Sorry this is very brief because there is not much to review here, since the whole thing seems to be written on a whim. I think you descriptive words such as the wisp part was a bit random. Its very nice imagery but in context it falls a bit out.

I enjoy reading poems like this, it shows a raw side of the author that I can relate to.
Good job.




WritingWolf says...


Thank you for the review, however brief it was. :)

For a quick explanation. I said "Poems and poems" instead of a different word that "poetically describes poems in a metaphorical sense" because I thought it would help strengthen the feeling of not knowing what to write. I mean I'm repeating myself, you can't get much more hopeless sounding then that.

So anyway, thanks again for the review. :)



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Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:15 am
ArcticMonkey wrote a review...



Hiya Wolf! I've returned to review another one of your pieces :D

I really liked this poem because it was certainly relatabe and the message behind it was really true. Like why do these random ideas come to mind like all the time for us? I've especially found it's in the weirdest of places like an exam or something. Then when the idea goes away and you didn't have time to write it down, that's always hard. Also, I really like this line-

Inspiration evades my grasp.


A suggestion I would make here is that I know it's so hard to lose an idea that was just in in your mind. So maybe in this poem you might want to add that, and like the pain of losing an idea. I think it would be really cool, and really show the hardships of being a writer, and that it's not all fun and games, and that writers don't just sit around in lala land waiting for an idea to come for them to then write it down. Just a suggestion, but I think this would work really well :D

Why does this happen to me?
How come it doesn't go away?
What can I do to overcome this?
These I ask myself, with no answer.

I don't really like the use of three questions here. Sure, one is fine, but to have three kind of makes it look distracting, and makes that stanza look really alone. Maybe you were doing that on purpose, all the other stanzas are just accepting the sad idea, but this one is questioning it, hmmm. But anyways, to me it just looks a bit out of place.

All in all this was a good poem. I read your what is art essay thing, and I actually think that these are very similar. I think you've got a good way of portraying what it's like to create art, whether is the form of a painting, or poem etc. Good job! My improvements for this I really talked about above, so I won't try and condense them here. With that, I hope this review helped and feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.

Just keep writing!
-Arc x




WritingWolf says...


Thanks. :D

I didn't actually expect anyone to say "Just keep writing". lol



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:43 pm
Hanorah wrote a review...



Hello writingwolf!!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem!!!
First of all,give yourself a pat on the back,this poem was downright AMAZING.
This poem is so simple,yet so brilliant!I think everyone on this website can relate to this Poem!
To write a poem about writers block is really smart,it's one of the most annoying things.
There is no spelling or punctuation mistakes,so I have no critism.Well done!10/10




WritingWolf says...


Thank you.



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:39 pm
Swiftfurthewarrior wrote a review...



Swiftfur here to review for you!

First off, I'd say your English class payed off. I find no spelling, grammar, or spacing issues.

Second, it show the mind of every writer when we have tens upon thousands of ideas, but have no idea how to put them on paper.
It has a nice flow, although it doesn't rhyme.


Beyond a doubt, you are a great poet, and I look forward to seeing more of your work.


~Swiftfur




WritingWolf says...


Thanks. :)



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:58 am
Imaginator17 wrote a review...



Hello there! Imaginator16 signing in :)

I really like this poem it flows well and makes a lot of sense, considering that some that i see don't.

One thing i did find a bit irregular was the beginning. The reason why is because i felt like you set the poem up to rhyme throughout then changed it to free verse. But it's hard not to. I would be a hypocrite to say that i haven't done it before as well.

I also like how you personified the word inspiration and made it "evade" from your grasp. I find that very clever and adds to the idea that you are struggling to write a poem and the poem itself reminds me of a writers block, so if that was what you were going for, good job!

I don't really have that much to say except for good job!

Imaginator16 signing out!

God Bless! :)

Review on!




WritingWolf says...


Thank you so much! :)



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:51 am
Rurouni wrote a review...



Oh......

I think this is true for every writer in the word...

I like this, and can't find anything wrong.......

I like how you describe this problem (issue, whatever lol) and describe how it effects you...

I also see how it effects others.

I really like it, and I think you should have made this longer to help your writing block XD

Well, I have no more to say, as it is very well made, and has no issues..

Team Fire Flower

Thanks, someone finally grasped the idea of Writer's Block lol

pegasusgirl2




WritingWolf says...


Thanks.



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:50 am
Hannah wrote a review...



Oh no! Reading this poem, I got really frustrated, because I just wanted to hear your fantastic poem ideas. You said you have so many, and you tempted me to want to read them all, but I didn't even get a taste of what you could do. This frustration is great, though. You're feeling frustration at not being able to write, and you've passed that emotion on to your reader, which is awesome!

The problem with this poem is that it seems like practice. It seems like later, when you've conquered your writers block, you won't need it any more. Yes, it's absolutely useful and necessary to write practice poems, but it's hard then to edit them. Let's try to look at it critically.

The one thing that really bothers me is the repetition of having nothing. You say ideas of poems swirl and swirl in your head and ideas of story swirl and swirl in your head and you can't catch them, and that takes three stanzas instead of a couple of lines. Why drag it out? To make it have meat without repeating emptiness, consider the differences between the stories you want to write and the poems you want to write. How do they swirl differently? What's different about trying to drag a poem out of your fingers and a story out of your fingers? How do they manifest? Do you see characters with bright red hair disappearing behind a brick wall or lines running like ticker tape when you're trying to fall asleep? Use comparisons to bring in vivid images and keep your current reader interested!

Please PM me if you have any questions or comments about my review, okay?
Good luck and keep writing!!!




WritingWolf says...


Thank you for that suggestion. I'm actually feeling motivated to edit this! :)



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Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:49 am
tiggpanda145 wrote a review...



Hello! This is a great poem-it does exactly as the title says, talks about no inspiration. I found this especially effective because it is exactly and completely how I am feeling at the moment-I have ideas but they float around and I don't know how to write them!

I like the way you ask lots of questions which adds to the idea of no inspiration and you needing to ask yourself and others what to do.

There are very little descriptions and that is great because it just reinforces your point-you have no inspiration!

' Stories swirl around each other.

Again and again and again.

Impossible to comprehend.

Always teasing me.' -I really like this stanza because it contains a few nice descriptions that are simple yet effective and it's true, ideas do tease you and the thoughts do swirl round in your head!

Well done!

tiggpanda145 :D




WritingWolf says...


Thank you. :)




It always seems impossible until it's done.
— Nelson Mandela