Young Writers Society

Hello there! Review day review

Guess what was spot on? Your capitalization and punctuation. So many people disregard capitalization and punctuation on stylistic grounds, so I'm glad you included them.

A few things interrupted the flow of your poem. The word "turmoil" did. The lines "But when I don't write, I can't settle down" and "To pour my heart and soul into something." Interrupted your flow. Also don't fell the need to repeat 'write', 'writer' and 'writing' so much. Sometimes a simple 'it' or 'it's' would suffice.

You could also try to employ more emotion in this poem, as Aley said you did tend to go towards a conversational speeches than comparisons. That's okay, but you could find them useful in a piece such as this.

Other than that I enjoyed your piece of prose. Keep on writing!

So this is your most recent poem, and as your mentor I am reading it ^.- This is the first poem of yours I'm reading, so I may be off base with what you need to improve.

Overall, you've got structure down, but there are some things you can look at for coming closer to the modern era. First off, we no longer have to put caps at the beginning of every line. I do sometimes, when I'm feeling like an old coot who needs to be formal, but most of the times capitals can wait until you are at the beginning of a sentence, regardless of the lines. Waiting for the sentence really helps with modern readers reading it appropriately instead of reading line for line. Sometimes it even allows you to use the same lines over again, with a new interesting meaning!

The poetic devices could use some work in this poem. You mainly stick with talking instead of using things like metaphors and similes to express your idea in a way the reader can see. This is going to upset some of our fellow poets on here, and really, using poetic devices, personification included, does help improve a poem past that beginning stage and onto something that makes it really poetic.

Part of poetry is taking a very common theme like this, and turning it into something new and interesting, something that you've never heard before. The challenge becomes actually finding a way to do that. Take this poem; you have the question of why does your speaker write? Well, that tells us the speaker is a writer, but what else can we really tell us anything else about the situation. The more poetic thing to do would be to answer a different question with letting your imagination really take hold: How would your speaker describe what happens when they do write? Then, as a conclusion, sum up how even though you don't know why the speaker writes, the speaker still writes, regardless. This adds a twist to the poem, or a turn. It also allows you to use poetic devices like simile, metaphor, and alliteration. Bringing these things into the work will make it more interesting to non-writers and writers alike.

Hey, HT here to review.

I liked the structure of the poem.

At times you answered the 'Whys' and at other times you didn't, which on the first read through I thought made it a little awkward to read, but when I read through it again I realized that it suited the work immensely, and added a great deal of character (in my opinion anyway).

And I agree with @EmilieHaugaard, the theme is definitely something that is a very common question that I think everyone on this site, and indeed authors around the world have asked themselves at least once.

Overall, I spot no grammar/spelling mishaps, so excellent job in that area!

And wonderful overall. It's long enough to keep it interesting, but not to long as to bore the reader. And the topic is something that everyone here should know a lot about, so people will understand it easily.

Good Job!

Happy Writing!
HT

Hello It thought I would review your piece, because you reviewed mine

This is a great piece, I really like it. I just love the whole piece ( hehe ) ;D

I like the structure of the poem, three lines at a time, it looks nice and simple and make the piece flow very nicely

I like that you start almost every stanza with why, but then sometimes breaks it. It could have turn out a bit weird, but I think you pulled it off

I really really love the theme and message in this piece. I think a lot of people have struggled with the same questions, you have made a very relatable poem

Overall you just made an awesome piece! Amazing job, I love it! I look forward to reading more of your stuff