As many have done before
I sit here staring
at the daunting blank page.
It's endless whiteness
like a linen sheet
stretched out to its limit.
This goes on for far to long
then I get enough sense
to play a little music.
Something soft and slow
to ease me into
the mood I that need.
The first word is slow
it creeps out like a spider
dancing across its web.
Then they come flying.
One after another.
Tangling up into each other.
My fingers work to fast
clicking across the keys.
My words are getting jumbled.
Mixing up the vowels
as if my fingers
where some sort of blender.
I focus on what I'm saying,
spelling will come in due time.
For now I must get across
this point I'm holding
deep within myself.
All to soon it is over.
I've written my last sentence.
I slow to a stop and let it sink in.
I've completed my task.
Darn! I've hit send!
I hadn't had a chance
To fix the spelling
on my text message.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,208 Literary Works • 672,507 Reviews
Nice poem! Funny....I thought you were talking about writing a story or a poem, but no, it must always be those wretched text messages
And autocorrect just makes it worse, am I right?
Well done, just work on those typos everyone else has talked about lol.
Very good use of imagery.
Not really a review, just a person in awe of how wonderful this poem is
Keep writing!
Ha ha! This is truly a work of art, I have to say. STILL needs work, though!
My fingers work to fast
clicking across the keys.
My words are getting jumbled.
Mixing up the vowels
as if my fingers
where some sort of blender.
This is where I got lost. Try to add a transition word somewhere around the sentence, "My fingers are getting jumbled." I really like how you compared your fingers to a blender.
All to soon it is over.
I've written my last sentence.
I slow to a stop and let it sink in.
I've completed my task.
Did you get distracted? WHAT made you hit send? Maybe you could try adding an action noise, so the reader knows you've hit the send button. Some include: bam, zap, boing, pow. You could add something else instead, if you want. Like your mom calling, or your little sister or brother screaming.
Bye! P.S. you don't have to listen to me, if you want. These would just make a better story.
Oh my goodness that was wonderful! Hi I'm The Black Sheep and I adore what you've written. This piece portrays perfectly the struggles and the joys of being a writer. It also shows how every single one of us struggles sometimes over the simplest few sentences. There are a few grammatical errors of course but every writer makes them. Just regular things like to instead of too, were instead of where. Once again I really like what you've done with this piece it doesn't rhyme all the time but that just really adds to it's style and mood. Well done.
I love this poem. I will be sure to show this to my friends. Now to get to reviewing. I must say in the second stanza, first line, you said to instead of too, that needs to be fixed please. If I were you, I would add a second stanza about writing the middle of the story. When I write anything, I have so much to say that I can't type it all down in time before I forget. That could be something you put into here. Your form is great. You have a topic for each stanza and it all supports that. I like poems with rhythms and if you could implement that into here that would make this poem, ten times better! Overall, I love the theme of this poem and just the poem it's self. Keep making stuff like this. I can totally relate to this because this happened to me when I wrote my story.
Hi, J.C. here for a review!
I found myself laughing when I hit the end, because it's so true. I don't text much, but this applies to so many other instances, and it keeps happening. Even if there is a prompt that asks me if I really want to send or submit or save what I've written, I usually hit 'yes' before I've even asked myself the question.
You use some great picture painting terms which help me to be drawn into the poem, rather than just reading it, and I can truly relate to what is happening to the writer. Occasionally, though, your choice of words is a bit drab, as in the first line of the quote above. The word 'slow' has no flare to it, and you've used it and several other synonyms just in the last stanza. Repetition needs to be deliberate. Any other way and it's straining on the mind.
My only other bit of advice is to lengthen the last two stanzas by one line, so they fit the rest of the poem. It's not a major thing, but it just seems a bit, unfinished.
I also like that you used the word 'darn' instead of some other colorful, anatomical, offensive term. Very well done!
Thank you WritingWolf!
If this were a video message, I would be laughing!! This is only too true. It's maddening how hard it is to get the first word out, but once you get going it is just word vomit. And sometimes when you go back fix all the mistakes you're like "Did I write all this?" Perks of being a writer don't you think? Okay, while this was a great piece of work, I'd like to talk about a few things. There were several places where you said "to" when they should have been "too", but don't fret, that's a common mistake that I see all the time. And while poetry doesn't have to have rhyming words as long as it has a beat, it still doesn't hurt to throw in at least a few words that rhyme. For a piece like this, my suggestion is to try putting words that rhyme at the end of each stanza to even embellish the quality of this piece. Anyway, good poem.