Young Writers Society

Oh,this is amazing... Loved how you use repetition... It's amazing how you used oversized sweater to describe growing up and changing,the part of every single one of us how you made it flow....I'm AMAZED...

First off, oh my god. This is an amazing poem.

I love, love, LOVE, the use of repetition.
I also really like the light ambiguity. From the way the writing is portrayed, I was able to assume she self-harmed, she had an eating disorder, and she committed suicide in the end.

The switching of tenses in the end made it evident she committed suicide, as well as the use of language.

This is a very dark concept indeed, but I love this poem.

This poem contains beautiful symbolism and one of the most in depth works I've seen here so far. I especially liked the ending, great element of surprise. I liked the 2nd paragraph, it makes me wonder why she's hiding so much and where the scars came from. And the first paragraph was a wonderful introduction. I actually can't find anything wrong with this poem. You've done well! I'll be following you to read more ^.^

Hi.
Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your work. And keep it up !

I loved the symbolism in this poem. Each stanza seemed to bring me further into her depression. In the fourth stanza, when you say that the sweater is coming undone? That was great use of foreshadowing. In the last stanza, when you changed the first line to past tense where it had been present tense before, I instantly caught on to what was going to happen. Poems about depression usually don't move me that much, but this piece definitely stood out from others I've read. I don't really see anything you can do better with this work, because it's already really good. Keep up the good work!

Yikes! Not to review backwards, but that ending was a shocker.

There was this sense of progression throughout the piece, although I had perceived it as rather being something she is hiding is falling apart, therefore she is moving on. Although, after re-reading, I can see that rather this sweater acts more as a security blanket, more or the less, and it falling apart represents herself. Metaphorical poetry is so interesting and malleable like that.

I really enjoyed this. Well done.

- Sav

Depressing. I like the language style. Simplistic yet artful. Her feet take flight, I like that imagery. I love the oversized sweater being the facade to her past. So simple and yet such a complex part of her.
This poem sort of reminds me of my uncle's. Filled with meaning (although his meanings are harder to find), and very nicely phrased. I would go so far as to suggest that you submit it to a literary magazine or the like. It really is a good poem, and it seemed to hit me harder than many pieces on depression normally do.
Keep writing!

Octoberskye here for a review! First off, can I just say wow...that seriously gave me chills. I love how you kept up with the theme of the character getting older and adding more and more "wear and tear" to it, so to speak. It really shows how some people have more going on inside than they show on the outside. To me, it seems like the oversized sweater is another way of putting on a costume, a mask, an alternate identity so that no one can see underneath. I love metaphors and similes, and this is a metaphor at its finest. Well done.

I also really enjoyed the repetition at the beginning of every stanza. How you said "she wears and oversized sweater", but at the end you changed it to past-tense as a sort of foreboding.

Overall I'd give it a 9/10. I loved this poem, and thoroughly enjoyed myself, great job!