You have belittled me
And made me something I’m not
You’ve made the other people see
The evil in me, on the spot
In The House Of The Once-Righteous
And now I’m invisible
To those in the town
Their opinions aren’t even divisible
Every last one wears a frown
In The House Of The Once-Righteous
And now my family’s cast me out
And the one I love
All because you wanted to clout
The goodness of above
In The House Of The Once-Righteous
So congratulations are in order
You spread the word of Satan
The townspeople’s’ faith is at the border
I can only hope their paths straighten
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happy review day,
from what i can tell, this poem is well written, but we don't really pick apart stuff in tenth grade English
however, i am slightly confused. are you the Satanist? or are you a bible humper in a family of satanists? this poem also reminds me of the crucible a little, 'cause of the satany stuff in here.
i for one have very little skill with rhyming so i commend you for doing it right.
keep on writing!
Thanks! And I intended for this to be written from the bible-humper's p.o.v.
Okay. I love this! It is deep and meaningful. It was descriptive and easy to understand. It made you really think about what it was talking about and wonder what happened to this person. The part about the person's family casting her out really spoke to me in a way that's not like I've had the experience but I've been put in situations where I'm not really wanted or needed in my family. I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors. I don't know anything about poems so I don't know what to say about the format. I like how it rhymed but the words you used still made it sound sophisticated and like you had something important to say. The writing got my attention right out of the gates and held it through the entire piece. I never lost interest or got confused. I don't know what the story behind the piece is, but it was so clearly written, I didn't feel like I needed to.
Greetings wtppowers
Firstly: Interesting title. It took me a while to understand it, but I finally got it and I think it fits the piece.
Your vocabulary is suitable and works perfectly with your cross rhyme. That (your rhyme scheme) also works perfectly, symbolizing the "battle" between the priest and the Satanist. The "cross" rhyme is also ironic, as the townspeople are waning, but the Cross stays with them all the way.
This is a rather short review (to me, at least), but there is not much more I can say other than Good job. I am rating this piece 7.5 out of ten. Top notch!
Sincerely your brother in faith,
The Wandering Wizard
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
The first four lines are supposed to be one whole stanza. Same with the last four lines. I don't know why it did that...
You can edit it to make them one stanza, like you wanted them to be