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12+ Violence Mature Content

Alice and the aliens: Part Two

by vampricone6783


*Part two of my “Alice and the aliens” series. The first story is under my folder “Alice and the aliens”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Alice found herself in a silver room, surrounded by many beeping computers, whirring sounds like that of a fax machine.

Bryon stood in front of her, eyes full of concern.

“I’m really sorry that you had to find out this way, Alice. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but it just…slipped.”

Bryon rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Where am I? What are you going to do? Can I even trust you?” Alice asked. She always thought that Bryon was different, but it had never once occurred to her that he was an alien.

Did he even love her? Or was she an experiment to him?

“You can trust me, I promise! You’re in my spaceship, that’s all. I just need you for this mission. That’s all.” Bryon said.

“Mission? What mission? What’s going on?!” Alice asked.

Why on Earth would he need a human for whatever mission he was going to do?

Bryon sighed heavily and haggardly.

“My…my real name isn’t Bryon. I used it for my human name. I’m actually A2614. My older sister, B392, is in another ship. You’ll like her. She’s really nice and-“

“What’s going on?!”

“Right. That.” A2614 said with an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“There is a group of aliens called absorption vampires. They’re like your vampires, except they absorb blood from others just by staring  at them. Here’s another thing: Unlike the vampires in the stories you read, they’re mortal. They can die. There’s a small but powerful group of absorption vampires called “Life seekers.” Their leader is Captain D9302. For years, they’ve been searching for a planet with infinite life and now, they’ve found it. They’re in Earth now, looking for humans to steal the life from. Only the kindred spirits, the kind human ghosts that haunt your planet, know that they’re there. They’ve been trying to warn the living humans, but the Life Seekers have caught on. They’re sending the human spirits to space.”

“If there are too many ghosts in space, the very universe will explode into nothingness. It can contain galaxies, planets, and stars, but not the human spirit. It’s too much. We need to send the ghosts to the afterlife first. After we save the ghosts, we’ll have a better chance of saving Earth. The universe first, Earth next.”

Alice’s head was swimming with thoughts, but only one was strongest.

“What does this have to do with me?” Alice asked.

“Me and B392 tried sending the ghosts to the afterlife, but they haven’t responded to our technology. Our theory is that the ghosts need to possess a human body for a short amount of time, then use that energy to get to the afterlife. That’s where you come in.” A2614 said.

“So I’m just an experiment?! You want to use my body to help ghosts?!”

He didn’t really love her?! He saw her as something useful?!

A2614 shook his head, tears shining in his orange eyes.

“No, no. Alice, you were completely unplanned for. I was looking for someone on Earth to help, yes, but you were unexpected. When you came into my life, it was the best thing that ever happened. I saw how you cared for me even when I did things out of the ordinary. You didn’t think that I was strange. You are someone who loves strongly. You are good luck. I brought you here because you would be perfect to help the ghosts pass on.”

Alice’s heart flushed with joy. So he did love her! He thought of her as someone more!

Still, a cold, clawing thought scratched the corners of her brain.

“Will I die?” Alice asked.

A2614 laced his hands with Alice’s own, warmth radiating from the lizard green skin.

“No. It will only be for a short amount of time. You will live. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Then let’s do it. Let’s save the universe.” Alice said with a soft smile.

…………………………………………………

Alice and A2614 were looking out the main window from the aircraft. It had been awhile since he brought her to his ship and they were both searching for any signs of a ghost. So far, only the stars blinked merrily back at them.

But then, they saw her. The ghost.

Alice knew who she was from legends told at her town. Back in the 1950s, a woman named Giselle had married a man named Joseph. On the night of the wedding, Giselle was found dead in a hotel bed, both eyes missing, still in her wedding dress.

Joseph was the main suspect, for he was the only person with her, but no one could prove it, so he wasn’t sent to jail.

Instead, he was killed on the night after Giselle’s death, in a different hotel, missing both eyes. Legend had it that Giselle’s ghost killed him for revenge, but, again, no one could prove it.

Alice stared at Giselle’s sagging sockets, rotten and decaying skin surrounding them. Her white bridal dress was yellowing with age, her coarse, gray hair, once thick and brown, stuck to her face in stringy clumps, her veil had faint rusty red stains.

She stared long and hard at Giselle, studying every detail of her lost body, of a life that was meant to thrive, until Giselle collided into Alice with brilliant white wedding light and they became one.

Alice saw the thoughts of Giselle as though they were her very own.

Giselle sat in a cafe, blue, sparkling eyes bright with hope and possibility. A young, handsome man with youthful pale skin in a suit joined her and her whole body seemed to have a hint of elation in it.

Such a happy young woman, wishing only to be with someone who cared.

Every day was the same thing. Every day, Giselle and Joseph linked hands and promised to marry each other when the time was right.

All she wanted was someone to spend the rest of her life with, someone to hold her when things got rough and Giselle was a vulnerable creature to the forces.

The wedding night, where Giselle walked down the aisle in a flowing white dress, pure as a flower, blue eyes even brighter than before. Everyone watched with eager eyes as she made her way to the man of her dreams.

She really thought that he was going to be the one.

The honeymoon, running off to a hotel of fresh young meat, couples unaware of life’s trials. The hotel itself was painted sunshine yellow, Florida flowers decorating the outside, chlorine blue pools glistening, begging to be jumped in.

It was all so well, it seemed like a dream.

Joseph and Giselle in their bedroom, all too giddy to change out of their wedding clothes. Joseph reaching out towards Giselle’s giggling face, tearing off the blue eyes with a sickening RIPPPP.

Blue eyes fell to the carpeted floor. Joseph greedily snatched them up and chewed on them, white goo spilling from his mouth like melted marshmallows.

The man was a demon, an actual demon who ate eyes to live.

Then the next night, Joseph ran off to a motel, dirtied and filled with sad secrets. Trying to run from his sin.

But Giselle had found him. She rose above him, glistening the way ghosts did. Just as he did to her, she reached out to him with a grin on her bleeding face. Though a demon, he could not harm what was already destroyed.

Out came his eyes, so easily a human caused his demise.

Something else flashed in Alice’s mind, a golden glow, welcoming and sweet, like a Grandma’s hug, soft and hazy, as if to say “Thank you.”

Giselle rose up into Heaven, a field of climbing wildflowers and an always blue sky, a garden that never died.

Alice fell into A2614’s arms, feeling as though a chunk of cement was lifted from the crevices of her body. She took in large, gulping breaths, needing to feel alive once again.

“Alice? Are you alright? Do you want to go home? I can take you home and this will all seem like a bad dream. I didn’t realize how…how this would affect you. You can opt out if you want.” A2614 said. His voice was ragged with fear, a face creased with worry.

“I’m…okay…I…just…need…to…rest…for a moment…” Alice said between pants. Yes, she felt like the wind got knocked out of her, but she was okay overall. She could help them. Pain was a part of life. To avoid it was futile.

“Rest? Sure, you can rest. I have a bed you can lay on.” A2614 said, carrying her in his arms.

Alice placed a hand on his cheek. He told her the truth. He saw her as a human. He wanted to protect her.

“You can lie with me if you want.” Alice said. It would be nice to not feel alone.

“Really?” A2614 asked, surprise in his voice.

“Yes, it would be nice to have you with me.” Alice said softly.

On A2614 went with Alice in his arms, to a safe bed away from the horrors outside.


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Wed Jun 19, 2024 11:28 am
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goodolnoah wrote a review...



Image

Hello there, one of King Koopa’s loyal henchmen, here!

Hello again! ~ Writing Commentary

“There is a group of aliens called absorption vampires. They’re like your vampires, except they absorb blood from others just by staring at them. Here’s another thing: Unlike the vampires in the stories you read, they’re mortal. They can die.


I like that in the canon of the story, and outside of the story, you are able to compare these aliens to that of “human” works. It plays more into that Byron was trying to act human, while giving us a useful comparison to work off of!

“If there are too many ghosts in space, the very universe will explode into nothingness. It can contain galaxies, planets, and stars, but not the human spirit. It’s too much. We need to send the ghosts to the afterlife first. After we save the ghosts, we’ll have a better chance of saving Earth. The universe first, Earth next.”


This had me audibly asking “WHAT?” I think this type of insanity is your strong suit :D

Alice stared at Giselle’s sagging sockets, rotten and decaying skin surrounding them. Her white bridal dress was yellowing with age, her coarse, gray hair, once thick and brown, stuck to her face in stringy clumps, her veil had faint rusty red stains.


This is a nice description, and it’s a little terrifying that the dead spirits of humans wandering space retain their damaged forms. Despite them being deceased, it seems like parts of their bodies still seem to “age”

Giselle sat in a cafe, blue, sparkling eyes bright with hope and possibility. A young, handsome man with youthful pale skin in a suit joined her and her whole body seemed to have a hint of elation in it.


Side note - I LOVE the idea of characters being able to retain and absorb memories of others…This is quite the interesting story going on so far~

Memories to Live ~ Closer

One of my favorite parts about this chapter was the snapshots of Giselle’s memories. I think it does a really good job of divulging quick details in an insane manner. Alice and A2614’s relationship is quite cute thus far. It seems like there is not much love lost, and the memories of Giselle seem to mirror their relationship, what with her partner being a demon that eats eyes.

Nice chapter!




vampricone6783 says...


Thank you!



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Mon Jan 01, 2024 4:52 pm
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DreamyAlice wrote a review...



Hey there, Alice here to give a review!

My first thoughts~My name is in the title, so I naturally got attracted to this story! Now my first thoughts would be I am always impressed by the amount of short stories you publish, it's truly great! I have not read the first part but I got the idea of the story and it's very interesting! Dialogues and everything is very engaging!

Narration/Plot

The plot is really nice, and fun to read. I like the backstory of the world and the idea of a new kind of vampires taking over Earth, it seems like a fun and light story. Your narration works with the light tone of the story. I was engaged the whole time. I especially loved the narration of the past life of the ghost, it was so well detailed.
A lil suggestion~I would just say maybe slow down your plot a little bit, the purpose, the revelation all was shown very quickly. I believe you could have expressed more and stretched out the suspense a bit to add more detail. Alice accepted things too quickly and it was just done. Your story lacks just a little more details and focuses on expressing more and slowing down.

Dialogues/Formatting

Your dialogues were engaging and just perfectly punctuated. I liked your italicising at the right places paragraphs are of the right lengths and the formatting works perfectly. A little nitpick.

“I’m…okay…I…just…need…to…rest…for a moment…” Alice said between pants.

I think you put too many pauses in there. maybe try doing it like "I'm okay...just I need to read..for a moment" I think this would have been better, but you can ignore this nitpick it's up to you.

Characters

Your characters seemed pleasant and interesting. I don't know much about Alice as I haven't read the first chapter but I would like to go read it. I just loved the details you gave of Gesille, the ghost's appearance. I could imagine it so well and her back story was so tragic and the readers felt it, so well done!
A lil suggestion~ I think Alice's reaction to learning Bryon's true identity and the gravity of the mission could be more detailed. It gives us a chance to know more of Alice's inside thoughts and we could have got to know more of her.

Overall~ A very engaging sci fi and supernatural storyline! Would like to read further. You can take from the review or can completely ignore it. It's totally up to you. I had fun reading this one!

Keep Writing👍
-ALICE^-^




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Tue Nov 21, 2023 12:17 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello friend!
This has been in the Green Room a little while, so I decided to check out Part 1, then come back and write a review. I hope some part of this is helpful!


On first impressions, this is a very well-developed two-part story with a great plotline and a clear direction it is heading in. It's about a girl who believed a human loved her, but he ended up being an alien that needed her help sending ghosts to the afterlife. Through this short story, the characters unfolded into somewhat relatable beings and great story elements.


If I could offer any sort of advice, I think it would be better to put thoughts in italics. There are a couple spots where Alice is thinking, and it can help the thoughts and questions stand out against the rest of the text when it's in italics, making it easier for a reader to read and follow.
I'll use one of your quotes as an example. You said,

Did he even love her? Or was she an experiment to him?


If I could change it, it would look more like this:

Did he even love her? Or was she an experiment to him?


In this case, it may make sense either way, and this is just nitpicking, so obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, it would have to be the way you used emphasis to make a seemingly unrelatable situation a little more relatable. It just makes a character's thoughts and feelings more prevalent and easier to comprehend. For example, when you said,

Why on Earth would he need a human for whatever mission he was going to do?


I feel like the emphasis on the word "human" makes this all the more understandable from the perspective of Alice. Like, yeah. Why did he need a human on board? It definitely makes Alice's concerns more personable, so kudos to you for that!


Overall, this was a great story with an amazing plotline and well-rounded characters, with very minor, if any, mistakes. It ends in a very beautiful spot that reassures Alice that she wasn't just an experiment and that he actually loves her, which makes for quite a happy ending even though we know she's going to continue to put her life on the line to save the universe.

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this for us all to read!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb