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i found my true love in a youtube ad

by starlitmind



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Thu Apr 22, 2021 3:33 am
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SilverNight says...



so happy this masterpiece made it back into the spotlight :')




starlitmind says...


AREN'T YOU JUST THE SWEETEST OH MY GOODNESS, THANK YOU SO MUCH, THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY c: <3333



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Wed Apr 21, 2021 1:36 am
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nightshadows says...



Dude I have never seen anything or read anything more beautiful then this work of art that i behold in front of my eyes.




starlitmind says...


ASDFGHJKL THAT IS SO SWEET, THANK YOU SO MIUCH :%u2019))) <3



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Wed Apr 07, 2021 8:03 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



AAAAAAAAH I'D JUST LIKE IT ON RECORD THAT I STILL RETURN TO THIS POEM SOMETIMES AND MARVEL AT THE INGENUITY <333333




starlitmind says...


OMG WHATCHA THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY, AND AHHHHHH THAT WARMS MY HEART SO MUCH , YOU ARE SO LOVELY AND I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH <333333333333



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Sat Jan 02, 2021 4:14 am
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alliyah wrote a review...



For some reason I felt like I reviewed this! :) And seeing that I didn't, I'd love to take a look and leave a few quick thoughts.

Formatting
I love that you utilized so many of the iconic grammarly images in this! It makes it really fun! This is a fabulous usage of a screen shot poem for sure. I think it'd be interesting if you could alter on the side where it says "correctness: 15 alerts, clarity: very clear" ... could those notes be something more poetic? Maybe "clarity: crystal clear, engagement: cuts through the soul" etc. just to do something a little more playful with that section.

Overall all the text is readable though, and you chose a good smattering of words to creatively-spell. (in this case they aren't mispellings, but are purposely spelled contrary to convention ;) )

I like that you didn't change up every single word's spelling because that would distract the reader, but you choose a good amount to make the point!

word plays
I think some of the genius of this piece is in your word plays where you creatively spell a word unconventionally, where the "mispelling" actually gives more meaning to the piece because of the homophones!

ie. "knot" rather than "not" when you're talking about headphones tied in knots!! genius. :)

& also "i don't know how to right" has double meaning when "right" is contrasting "right vs wrong" but also "write". So the speaker thinks they can't write or / do right. love it!

very clever! I think you could have done a few more word-plays in the 2nd half of the poem too! :) Maybe capitalize "someone" to contrast with "i" ? Not sure!

All those word plays elevate the piece and make the reader doubt whether conventional spelling is truly as valuable as grammarly would make it out to be.

specific notes
"alfabet judmbel" is a big feeling. xD

I like the continued theme of unscrambling that continues through the whole poem, though it sort of drops off at the end.

message
I like the emotional range that the speaker goes through but I think the conclusion requires extra inference than we are given in the story to make sense.

Here's a summary of what I see being said:

1) the speaker feels lost, their words are jumbled.

2) the speaker finds grammarly, their words feel unjumbled.

3) the speaker learns so much from grammarly.

4) the speaker still holds on to a little doubt / mistrust of grammarly because they want to keep "i" lowercased.

Another way of saying that is: A is a problem. B solves A. I like B. But I don't like C. (the first three premises are connected, the fourth / concluding one feels separate).

Okay so 1-> 2 -> 3 all follow logically, but I don't see where 4 comes from, unless we infer that because this is all written as a poem that the reason they hold mistrust against grammarly is because the speaker is into modern-poetry so have a separate conviction about the pronoun i. The problem is that doesn't necessarally relate to the jumble / unjumbled parts early. I think to fix that logical flow issue you could bring in the concept that the speaker is a poet earlier. Or you could link the capitalization issue to the concept of jumbled/unjumbled somehow, so that it logically flows together more.

intention / effectiveness
Humor poems are tough! You have to speak to people's familiar experience in an unfamiliar or at least unexpected way. And you're able to do both! Almost everyone has struggled with figuring out typos and those easy grammar mistakes, you speak to a struggle we all have gone through. But the ending is unexpected. And the very premise of encountering this struggle in a poem is also unexpected so that along with the humorous spelling mistakes makes this an effectively funny poem from multiple angles.

message
One of the things I'm always saying when I review humor pieces, is what value does this piece have beyond a laugh? Because if you can move your poem towards significance rather than just a funny encounter, then that's a truly winning poem. And I think you do move this poem towards significance, because although it might seem like an inconsequential issue that grammarly is "correcting" our grammar in ways that are not necessarally useful towards communication, you show how some of those different perceived mistakes actually may communicate more meaning! And you're able to engage with the issue of the conflict between Art / Meaning vs. Form / Convention / Rules - which is a very significant battle that as poets we encounter every single time someone comes to a poem and says "don't forget to capitalize "i" because it's more correct" @_@ even in times when the meaning is so much more important than the perceived "correctness". Things like grammarly and spell check are methods of artistic control in some sense, and your poem starts to raise those suspicions which is significant! :)


Altogether, I love the subject matter. And this poem does it's job of being funny, and maybe unexpectedly impactful. Thanks for sharing this creative work. I'd say it definitely deserved its spot in the spotlight! :) (ALSO 41 LIKES??? That's amazing! Congrats!!)

~ alliyah

Image
ps this is also your checklist challenge prize much belated




starlitmind says...


THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW! c:

I love your formatting suggestion for the side part! I never even thought of touching that section, so that's super helpful!

Yay, I'm glad to hear that the misspellings worked out! I was a bit worried that I overdid it, but you actually mentioned that the second half could use some wordplays, so that's super helpful c:

Ooh, thank you for pointing out that logical flow issue! I think part of the reason for that problem is I had no intention originally ending this poem the way I did; I wrote out a different ending, but then that correction on the side of the screen caught my eye, and then that's when the idea popped into my head xD Thank you for the suggestions on how to fix that, I'll definitely use them when revising ^^

Ahhh thank you a lot for this review, it was super helpful! I don't think there's a single poem in the world, no matter how crazy it is, that you couldn't leave an amazing review on. (also, I know :O all those likes are thanks to you!!! <3)

<3



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Thu Dec 03, 2020 5:45 pm
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LilPWilly says...



Comedy gold i don’t get a long with autocorrect myself.
Numb3r5 made it too obvious
Here i clicked thinking you found a girl in a YouTube ad like, how do you get ads like that? I still get mascara and diaper ads—ima 17yr old dude
I really like the string of letters in my back pocket bit, vivid.




starlitmind says...


Thanks!



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Thu Dec 03, 2020 3:12 am
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SpunkyKitty says...



I- this is just…XDDD!!!

100%! This is pure genius!




starlitmind says...


Thank you so much!!! xD <3 <3



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Sun Nov 15, 2020 4:54 am
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Lionhero333 wrote a review...



First and foremost I must say that this poem was very very unique.

The format really ads to the showmanship and charisma an artist should have, those incorrect spellings totally gave the feeling . It would have taken a long time to write a wonderful and special poem like this

I dont have to say as far a critique. Many focus on imperfect grammar and spelling and this is why I am not one of those people. Art no matter what form is... Well... Art. Its the vision. Not some formal or informal or wrong and right way of going about it. Perfection in imperfection.

I say this is a 5/5 work




starlitmind says...


Thank you so much for the review!



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Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:33 am
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rida says...



Amazing poem!




starlitmind says...


Thank you!! <3



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Mon Nov 09, 2020 9:01 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Hey, there! This is really cool and unique! Your perspective is great, and I like how you incorporate the pain a person experiences when not knowing how to spell or format something properly. Also, the turn you took was unexpected, as it sounded like you were going to make this poem about a person. Well done. Keep producing art like this. :)




starlitmind says...


Thank you so much for the review!



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Mon Nov 09, 2020 10:57 am
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ImaginativeAlice wrote a review...



Such a unique poem it is .When I saw the heading I thought that your love would be some kind of "celebrity crush." But it was total unexpected. How you guys come with such themes for poems. And those incorrect spellings totally gave the feeling . It would have taken a long time to write a wonderful and special poem like this.......




starlitmind says...


Thank you so much for the review!



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Mon Nov 09, 2020 7:24 am
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Starve says...



10/10




starlitmind says...


Thank you!! c: <3



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Sun Nov 08, 2020 4:58 am
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This is art.




starlitmind says...


Thank you! <3



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 2:25 pm
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Euphoria8 says...



I-I...this speaks to me on a grammatical level.
XDDDDDD THIS POEM IS THE BEST I LOVE IT LOL
I think I can confidently say Grammarly is my true love because I don't mind always capitalizing "i" XD I'll let you know about the wedding soon XD

On a serious note, this poem execution is just *chef's kiss*. Keep putting out wonderful and orginal stuff like this, my fellow unicorn-lover <333




starlitmind says...


HAHA THANK YOU SO MUCH XD <3

I think I can confidently say Grammarly is my true love because I don't mind always capitalizing "i"


*gasp* I don't think we can be friends anymore :o

Haha, just kidding of course cx Let me know when the wedding is!!

Thank you! ^^



Euphoria8 says...


YOU'RE WELCOME <3
*gasp* oh nooooo don't leave meeee
Haha XD will do!



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:20 am
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Hkumar says...



Oh god! Why you always have to come up with such amazing ideas xD :P This is great.




starlitmind says...


AWW THANK YOU!! <3 That's so sweet! c: I have to give the credit for the idea to alliyah ^^



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:11 am
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NastyMajesty says...



OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS AMAZING! HAHAHAHAH. The struggle of Grammarly :')😂😂😂




starlitmind says...


Thank you! %uD83D%uDE02%uD83D%uDC9C



starlitmind says...


Oops that mess was supposed to be two emojis xD



NastyMajesty says...


Omg i hate it when that happens %uD83E%uDD23



NastyMajesty says...


--That was unintentional, sadly



starlitmind says...


xD



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:03 am
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izzywidgeon wrote a review...



The complexiTY in thiS piECE is amazing.
I'm just in awe of the sentence structure, the spelling, everything is just..the epitome of writing.
The squiggles of red add just a pop of color; maybe to symbolize your annoyance at Grammarly.
HoNESTLy yOu leFt thiS piECe soooo open ended; it's an enigma.

Honestly, this is such a mood.

Cheers!

MinTyLeaF <3




starlitmind says...


Thanks for the review, mintyleaf! It%u2019s nice seeing you around the site <3



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 1:36 am
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kaydenwrites says...



Ngl, SAME! Grammarly is amazing <3




starlitmind says...


Haha yessss xD



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 1:23 am
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whatchamacallit says...



Ahhh this is gold <3333




starlitmind says...


THANK YOU %u2764%uFE0F%u2764%uFE0F



starlitmind says...


Oops that mess was supposed to be two emoji red hearts xD



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Sat Nov 07, 2020 1:13 am
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TheScribe says...



XDDDD




starlitmind says...


Hehehe xD




"Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT."
— Shia Labeouf