footprints in the sky

Hello, I am here to review this poem which I liked very much. I like how you started saying you "held the sky i your hands and tore it to shreds" it makes me think of an unearthly power that reaches the sky and in their wonder and desire to accomplish their goals manages to even tear it to shreds and in that way to alter reality. The rain of feathers and the snowflakes paints a beautiful image, the storm not foretelling disaster.

It's sort of amazing and well said that you found wishes made on stars and dreams under clouds, it makes the poem exciting.

I like how you go further and mention the forgotten promise, the kept secrets and the never said "I love yous". They sound like important things hidden in stitches.

The part with the footprints and the walking hoe made me smile as I believe the narrator will find the person he or she was looking for someday.

Hi StarLitMind!

I am here to give a quick review to your beautiful poem. I must say your imagery is very impressive and this background acts like an icing on the cake. The first stanza itself got so beautiful references like white feathers falling as snowflakes when you try to rip the sky into pieces.

Each stanza had a deep and emotional feeling that makes the reader pause for a second a realise the message. Wishes found in the empty spaces made on the stars could also be related to the legends and myths that people hold about making a wish from a fallen star.

I like that you kept the formatting simple and decided to drop capitalization. I think it did add an extra touch to it by making it look like an abstract idea. Though one suggestion that adding a period after the end of each stanza may help the reader to pause and think about it before moving on to the next one.

Overall, I really loved your poem and enjoyed reading it. Your imageries are great and the flow was very consistent.

Great work!
Keep writing

HI StarLitMind, I'm here to leave a quick review on your poem =D!

I liked it. Compared to your others, it is very simple and hard-hitting. I like the background and format, it gives a reminiscent vibe to your work and, and the lower-case i's stand out. You imagery and use of adverbs is pretty and

The line "I love you"s is incorrect though. I would be "i love yous". Also, the last stanza, the ground references threw me off. Is it meaning to show development, because it's well done, just maybe could be a little bit less startling.

Those are all my thoughts, I love your poetry!

Jade

Hello StarlitMind! I'm here to review your poem, courtesy of review day (and Team Tortoise)!

First of all, I absolutely love the imagery you use in this poem. Your descriptions are intriguing, beautiful, and use a variety of language, but they also feel unified and connected! I like your choice to use the sky as a background, as it feels like it's tying the poem together in a way, and it also complements phrases such as "white feathers fell like snowflakes" and "behind clouds and the sky's folds".

I like that you've chosen to keep the formatting simple, just some basic stanzas - I think it allows the reader to focus on the words and the background, and they don't need to pay attention to more complicated formatting. (Not that complicated formatting doesn't have a time and a place - I just don't feel like it would really fit in this poem.) Similarly, I like the lack of capitalization, especially the lowercase "i". It draws the focus away from the narrator and towards what the narrator is searching for, if that makes sense.

I personally think I might prefer the poem with periods, particularly since you use commas, semicolons, and dashes, throughout the poem. To me at least, it feels like the final line, "home", is an incomplete thought, and as the reader, I don't feel a sense of closure. Obviously this is a stylistic choice, and up to you, but I just think the poem would feel more finished with a period at the end.

One idea I had about formatting is perhaps text colour? Right now the black text feels a bit stark against the white and light blue sky, and I feel like using the right tone of blue for text could sort of meld the poem and the background together really nicely. This is totally just a personal opinion, but if you're looking for something to experiment with I think that could be really interesting.

One very small thing I wanted to point out, as well, was your use of the word "unearthed":

i unearthed promises forgotten,

Hello, hello! I am here to review!

I really like the title! It reminds of some ancient god, stepping through the skies, looking down up the earth with a gaze that emits pleasantness. Good imagery, for sure there!

I really like the title, not to mention how you have the background being a sky with little, fluffy clouds! A very nice touch there, indeed.

So, what I liked about this poem. The smilies were magnificent, not to mention the tone fo the poem was conveyed so so so well! The more you read about it, the more sorrow it gets, the more you realize this person, be it you or just a character is struggle with wanting someone to notice them, to just even say hello to them. In the final stanza, I was just, oh lord that was wack. The last line had me beat, seriously. So simple yet heartwrenching, really.

For the critiques, I don't really have any! I do wish there was bit more imagery, maybe some description but otherwise it was good1 Grammar is basically free reign when it comes to poetry so do with that what you will.

Overall, 8/10!

- Cow