Who Am I?

I really liked this!

I liked how it kept you guessing through-out the entire poem. It had a perfect size, perfect descriptions, and just an amazing idea.

This poem was well-laid out, and very thoughtful. I can see that you put effort into this!

Last review of review day...

Happy Review Day!

yubbies21

Nice poem. It was was really well thought out and it did a good job of keeping the reader interested in trying to guess what the thing was and then you reveal it at the end.

Length wise was okay but poems like these have great potential and if you could increase the length, not loads but by a bit more it would be brilliant!

It had a real feel of mystery and was pretty cryptic but I really love suspenseful things like this tat get you thinking

It really does reflect on life though, I worry a lot personally and I just understood it straight away, any ways a great poem and I really loved it.

Ben

I love this! I also love the length you did not over complicate this by making it too long you got straight to the point and i like that. I absolutely love the riddle idea, it gives the reader something to think about while reading this, it gives them a question to answer, "Who am I?" the description in this is also great "I am your pain's beholder." I think think this line is my favorite out of the whole poem it is very short but very powerful. overall i think this is amazing keep up the good work!

Hey!

Great poem, it is short, captivating and has a riddle, nursery rhyme like feel to it.

To be honest I didn't have a problem with the rhyming, it flowed well and I feel as if the rhyme scheme is ok. Not perfect, but it fits the poem.
The only line that I feel could be change to make it fit with the rest of the poem is.

I'm lighter than dust,
But a heavy weight on your shoulder.

I'm lighter than dust,
But heavy on your shoulder

I love this poem. I love the concept of "Who am I?" Like it's a riddle. This poem at first made me think you were describing Satan or possibly a bad self esteem. Then at the end, the poem is describing something as simple as Worry. Then I go back through and read the poem and think ho stupid I am, because it was right in front of me. I liked this poem. Normally the lack of stanzas would bug me, but I thought that in this poem having an organized format would be too formal.
The only issue I have with this is the first 4 lines have the rhyme scheme of "ABAB". Then you have a couplet which goes "CC". Then you attempt the rhyme scheme of "ABAB" again, except you didn't quite get it right. Why and I rhyme perfectly. But sorry and Worry don't rhyme. And in line 5 you say "Yourself you will doubt." I feel like the word "yourself" just makes that line a little awkward. Maybe you could change this to "Inside you will doubt," Or something like that to make it less awkward to read (although I completely understand why you did this)
That's the only bad thing I could possibly say about this poem. And even those things were a little nitpicky. It was lovely, and it opened my eyes to how much of a burden worry could be. Keep writing

I like the length, not to long or short. Your rhyming scheme seems off, though. You have a nice pattern in lines 1 through 4, then you go to "doubt" and "without", then it seems as though you lose your rhyming completely until the last line. If you made lines 7 and 9 rhyme I believe this would flow better. Or, you could make this two stanzas. I enjoyed the image this gave me, you have a great idea behind this and I think it could be amazing

Wonderful job here! Keep it up,
~Rainn