There will always be something, even in nothing.
For although I have hushed all this chaotic violence
My ears are abuzz with this unblemished silence.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
I enjoy this poem and its length; it has a propulsive energy to it. I wouldn't mind seeing an expanded version, but I agree with other reviewers that it's powerful as a short poem. I would personally make the first period a comma; the poem would flow even better to me as a single sentence.
Wow. It is rare to come across something so short yet so powerful. The message is incredible and very relevant, I feel, in our world today. We seem so obsessed with stopping all that is "wrong" with the world that we forget how boring, even haunting, it would be without the wrongs. I'm sorry if I got a bit off of the point, but that's how it hits me. The opening line is simple, yet elegant, and even though it may seem that it leads to an almost juvenile topic, you really make the idea come alive in the following couplet.
Great poem!
I really like this poem for many reasons. First of all, the length. Normally, a short poem is either humorous or boring. But this is beautiful and mysterious… and you manage that in three lines. Second, the vocabulary. Sometimes when someone uses such descriptive adjectives (yes, "descriptive adjectives" is an oxymoron), it would clutter up the piece. Somehow, these words fit into your poem seamlessly--at least, in my opinion.
This is a beautiful poem.
-IronSpark
this is actually true for me since i have tenidis (is that how you spell it?)
Great poem alf
Hi.
So this is a short and arty piece of work.
You've made a lot of interesting sounds with this work. It has a very fluid sound to it, if that makes sense. XD
Each line you write is a paradox:
Sometimes it feels like it doesn't really make sense and that type of language is just there to be arty. XD
I wasn't even sure "abuzz" was a real word. O.O
I think if this style is used it should be longer, there is room to expans on this.
It's an interesting idea, I wonder what inspired it.
Keep writing!
this poem expresses a lot about your feelings and I think short poems are most expressive .