Nature seems to like to mock me,
Mirroring my teary eyes
With dark and somber
Weeping skies.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
I would like to review your poem:
I agree with Lylas. You might want to change that first line just a little bit to give it a better flow. The word 'to' is used too much for that one line. But I love how dramatic this poem is and it is only four short lines. That is very neat. Keep it up!
By the way, sorry for the blank comment before. I am new to this so I am not sure how to delete that or if you even can. Again sorry!
Thank you! And I don't think you can delete it, but it's fine
Hello I would love to review your poem!
This is so meaningful in such a simple form! I like what it's about. One thing you could change:
"Nature seems to like to mock me."
instead of that, which doesn't flow much, maybe this?
"Nature seems to mock me,"
Just flows way better
Also, I think you can come up with a more interesting name, that doesn't repeat in the poem. Sometimes repeating titles in the work itself works, but in this case, (in my opinion), it doesn't.
Maybe
"The Sky's Sorrow"
"Raining Tear Drops"
or something along those lines xD
otherwise, well written!
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Kamryn
Thank you! I thought of other names for the title, but I didn't love the other options I came up with, so I left this one, even though there's the repetition.
Hello. I am Methrirr. I will now review your poem, if you don't mind.
It's short, and powerful. It has strength, and depth. I especially like your first line, although I think it'd be better off ending with a comma.
I can feel that this poem is sad, but also angry, and annoyed. Each word holds a certain amount of weight to it, due to your poems shortness.
I like this a lot. Normally I can't relate to short poems like this, but this one is good. Keep writing!
Methrirr123
Thanks a lot!
Who would have thought, a short poem can be really interesting to read? Compared with a poem written in a straightforward, you write it with simple but meaningful. Equate the state of nature with your feelings, it's an interesting medium to do.
It sounds a bit cynical here.
While writing a short poem that feels like a very refreshing and exciting, you may want to consider adding a more poetic verse. It may seem simple but is actually quite challenging.
Keep it up!
Thank you!
Wow, this is beautiful! I just wish it was a little longer. So very little of it there to enjoy. Great job, though. I don't really have anything else to say except it's gorgeous and I'd love to read a version of this that's a little longer.
Thanks a lot. I appreciate this