Women are looked upon as the lower vessel
the frail, fragile, small part
they rely upon the men
the sons of Adam.
Women, they see a handsome gentleman
with beautiful eyes
and a wide smile
someone to care for them for as long as they live.
Who will stay by their side forever.
But what do men see?
What do they ponder in their mind?
What do they see with their eyes?
Men see, a beautiful woman
with slender thighs
and big doe eyes.
Her bosom is most especially filled
her hips move with the wind.
They see, something to be torn apart
devoured before the eyes of onlookers
They see a woman untouched by a male's gaze
and they take her
without a sound.
They are ravenous creatures
and must be stopped.
They grab,
They bite,
They howl,
And what do they do after?
They kick the poor woman aside as if she was worth nothing more than a sparrow.
Where is a man, who is both pure in body and soul?
Where is a man, who is humble and bold?
Where is a man, who cares for the lowly?
Where is a man, that a woman needs?
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,753 Reviews
Hello! It's catsz here dropping by and leaving a review behind! Let's dive into it!
REAL. Women are often underestimated for their abilities, because they are suppose to be "delicate" and need protection, but often, we prove men wrong >:)
This is so true. Women look upon men who are caring, understanding, and loyal. They don't really care more about looks, because as long as they are happy, women are happy! Everyone is beautiful in their own way, is what we believe.
every word of this poem is true, is what I'm noticing. We often wonder what others think of us. But all they see, all they notice are women who are slim and fit, and pretty. Their eyes don't even pass by the ones who are different.
They see, they watch, hungry. This is a very accurate description of some men, who are dangerous and cunning, full on predators. They kidnap, they do horrible stuff that traumatize.
They do horrid, gross things, and then just abandon her and leave. It is terrifying, if to ever experience, and the horror of just hearing about it is bad.
It is very hard to find men who actually respect and care for women, who believe that they can achieve everything a man can. Sadly this is our reality.
I think this poem is a very creative and honest way to express the emotion in our world right now, and I look forward to more of your works. GREAT JOB!!
~catsz
hello!!! reading this poetry makes you confront the reality of patriarchal conditioning that is cruel to the humanity of women, which is always commentary meaningful and true to many experiences and feelings of women who are at victim of this dehumanization. not only the word choices ("slender thighs", "devoured", "bite", "howl") makes the prose flow while remaining to be direct with its imagery and discussion, but it is incredibly at giving emphasis on the overall commentary on gender-based dehumanization as a form of oppression and the rampant, world-wide, harm of the patriarchy by how we think of others and how we become victims or predators.
while the words and messaging is raw, there are certain choices of the poem that comes off as dramatic. which i feel does lessens the impact of this being commentary that is meant to be genuinely spreading awareness and speaking of commentary grounded in reality, and is meant to be impactful in that way. which almost makes me less able to reflect in the world i'm in and what i experience (as a kind-of-woman myself) and causes a disconnect with the words that's technically true and genuine to reality due to how it's presented.
i do think the poem could exist more naturally without the constant usage of the bold effect, and instead the emphasis is made by stanzas or if the bold affect was used more sparingly (ex: the "What do they see with their eyes?" and/or "They kick the poor woman aside as if she was worth nothing more than a sparrow" lines remaining to be bold while the other lines aren't). i do believe that many of the lines written in bold can be impactful without that effect - and in fact, the lines being formatted the same as the overall the poem (italics) could give emphasis on how these thoughts are perpetuated everyday and basically normal in society.
still, to write about this thinking so deep in culture is grounded commentary to be held. and while it may be uncomfortable to think about how many vile ways of thinking are common and normal, it is a well needed awareness to internalize. the vividness, word choices, was done so well and kept me engaged even when holding those criticisms! keep writing!!
thank you><!
aw yw :> !!
Hello! This poem is quite resounding with the character of much men and the experience of many women today. I like how the perspective of the woman is innocent while the man is more s*xual perse. I believe the contrast would be greater if you describe how women tend to look on the character but men look at the physical. The description of the man sounds like a wolf, which I believe you meant that. It's quite vivid, which is great as it gives much color to the poem. My only comment is that you could elucidate more on the side of the women to give more contrast. Overall, this is a great poem! Good job!
Hello! This poem is quite resounding with the character of much men and the experience of many women today. I like how the perspective of the woman is innocent while the man is more s*xual perse. I believe the contrast would be greater if you describe how women tend to look on the character but men look at the physical. The description of the man sounds like a wolf, which I believe you meant that. It's quite vivid, which is great as it gives much color to the poem. My only comment is that you could elucidate more on the side of the women to give more contrast. Overall, this is a great poem! Good job!
THANK YOUUU!
Howdy, lovelydove!
This is a striking poem, with stunning, visceral imagery and impactful word choice. "Devoured," "ravenous," "grab," "bite," "howl," stood out to me in particular. They paint these sorts of men as the beast's they are, and that the lines themselves are short and snappy only heighten this effect.
Aside from the emboldened lines, my favorite part of this poem has to be it's last refrain,
it creates this tragic, almost wistful contrast that I find to be really effective. The repetition of "where is" adds a sort of desperation, makes the reader feel that such a man doesn't exist.
You also create a contrast at the start between what a woman sees in a man, versus what a man sees in a woman. A partner, versus something to be consumed. While the lines describing "sons of Adam" feel more innocent than the emboldened lines describing women, I did notice they still largely focus on physical traits; could the contrast be heightened by describing non-physical traits instead? To highlight the idea that they see an equal, as a person?
I really like the idea behind emboldening certain lines; poetry is a visual medium, and a shift in formatting usually signals in a shift in tone. However, in this poem, I felt like the two shifts didn't quite line up. I felt the shift either came here,
When the question is posed, or even after,
When the answer begins. In fact, though I like the line "What do they ponder in their mind?" I found "What do they see with their eyes?" just a little unnecessary. You already pose the same question two lines earlier, and the repetition here doesn't feel quite as intentional as it does in the final four lines of the piece.
One last minor thing, in this line,
though I really like the strong verbiage of "kick," I wondered if there could be an analogy other than "worthless as a sparrow" that could work here. This poem advocates for people to treat others kindly, even the "lowly," which I imagine would include a hapless bird.
But, to quit my nitpicking, this was an absolutely gorgeous, and scathing, piece. There's so much more to love about it that I barely touched upon. The clever juxtapositions, the powerful word choice, the stunning imagery. Altogether, it's nothing short of fantastic.
So, keep on writing, and have a great day!
Thank you for your review and your suggestions!