within the darkness of the stage lights
I see the feet of a dancer
pointed
and poised is her posture
and her shoes are full of lace and ribbons
graceful, she starts
beautiful and perfect
almost as if the dance was done without an effort
turn, leap, turn leap,
then plié
so dainty
turn, leap
she then rises the balls of her feet
and then rotates her foot
into a tendu
but she isn't finished
she was just preparing
turn, leap
and then comes the Grand jete
she soars into the air
like a mighty eagle
and she almost touches the above light
she beams into it
and smiles
and then she lands on her feet with a graceful thud.
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Canary word: Present
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125,023 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hiii, I'm here to review your poem using ocean terms. Let's begin!
The sea: The poem is about...well, a ballerina. We are viewing this poem from the perspective of an audience member, which I really enjoyed! Overall I really loved this poem!
The beach: As previously mentioned, I enjoy the perspective choice, but I also loved your use of imagery! Specifically when you described her movements, it was like I could see the ballerina.
She's framed in such a whimsical and magical light, and I really love that.
The rocks: I don't see anything wrong with this poem, it was great.
Alright that's it, have a great day and keep writing!
Thank youuuu for your review! ><
Hello, My Friend!
Hiya, Dove!! I thought I would review another one of your lovely poems this morning, if you don't mind! ^^
This feels like a lovely ode to a very talented ballet dancer! The imagery is gorgeous, imagining the dark stage, this delicate dancer clad in ribbons and lace, prancing under a lonely stage light—Ah! Just gorgeous ~
For recommendations, the only thing I noticed was a teeeeny, tiny potential typo right here:
It feels like "finish" should be "finished" here?? I also wouldn't complain if there were some added lines to give us a better idea of what these named moves look like, but that's just me! It's still a-ma-zing as it is! <3
For favorite lines, ooo, I would have to say like...
I love this because when you watch pro dancers, it's so true—it looks like they're just doing it so effortlessly and make everything look so easy, when in reality, it's an incredible skill, almost down to a science ~
This whole end sequence is probably my favorite part, I just love how you wrapped it all up—I can just imagine this graceful dancer, silhouetted against the beaming stage light, and her having the self-awareness and confidence to smile as she does, with a precise and flawless landing.
Overall, that was amazing! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thank you, Ravena, and I didn't notice my mistake with 'finish'!
I think this poem is very pretty and whimsical. I like the way you portray the ballerina in this mystical light. The way the poem flows and the use of imagery makes the poem feel almost like a feather. It shows how the ballerina is light on her feet and very graceful. "I see the feet of a dancer/pointed are her feet" That part feels a bit choppy to me though. The use of the word "feet" back to back breaks up the flow of the poem a little. Just my opinion. Overall, great poem!
Thank you for your review!