i've lead my heart, and have been lead for 10 months now
and i've changed my face twice now, and i've been through so much.
(to be a chameleon who knows no limits feels... gratifying.)
to be honest, i'm always hiding behind old versions of myself.
and i know that i might not be perfect. i'll never be perfect.
i think that constant reminder, that i'll never be perfect
is proof of my metamorphasis and my change.
(i once wrote about fate and mercy, and now write about colors and space.)
and i've met so many people, and made so many friends
i've been through so many events, and have become chaos at one point.
i've been featured, i've been new, i've been old.
but i think nothing would happen if not for her-
and if not for her and my curiosity.
-
to be someone like me who has written over three hundred poems
and will most likely write thousands more, yet wil never be satisfied
to be someone like me who has joined so many roleplays
and will join many more, and still not be satisified
to be someone like me who knows all of you-
well, it feels nice.
to be here in sickness and in health, through death and life
to rejoice and to cry and to be your friend and to be your listener
to be the poet, reviewer, dm, roleplayer, and user.
i'm grateful. i'm happy. i'm thankful.
you guys are my friends, my community, my family.
and i couldn't ask for anything less.
-
this poem is a self-reflection
to name some names:
thank you so much:
kate, wist, mint, and ley for being my lss group, and all around amazing friends and mentors :)
fig, foxtails, mint, and chi for being such great poets-- you guys definitely influence my poetic style
ellie, quill, kaia, lady, alliyah, scar, blues, lim, icy, snoink, avian, paige and waffle for being cool beans and great people to talk to on pads
sound, omni, jazz, ranger, shady, kate, wist, mint, ley, ant, winter, raven, and ari for being such great and fun roleplayers
the whole mod team, because y'all are so cool
and ant, for inviting me to yws. i wouldn't be writing this if not for you. so thank you
and to all the members of yws :)
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,757 Reviews
@KateHardy, @WeepingWisteria, @Spearmint, @Ley, @fatherfig, @foxtails, @dissonance, @EllieMae, @Quillfeather, @Kaia, @LadyMysterio, @alliyah, @ScarlettFire, @BluesClues, @Liminality, @IcyFlame, @Snoink, @Avian, @fantasies, @WaffleCat, @soundofmind, @Omni, @JazzElectrobass, @RangerofIthilien, @Shady, @LuminescentAnt, @winterwolf0100, @RavenAkuma, @AlienPoetry
and anyone else who i've met on yws
@Kaia* oops
Hey century! I love this poem and I want to get it out of the Green Room for you, so I’m coming in with a review!
First of all, I love how this is an ode to the YWS life. You seem so grateful for this site throughout the poem and you communicated your love very well!
There are some lines that could be more clear and make this affection even more visible than it already is. The first line is a bit clunky and I didn’t understand it on the first read. Now that I understand it, I wish I could have seen more of that theme throughout! There are also three uses of the word “and” just in the first two lines and I feel like that could flow better, maybe using some different transitions.
I do love how you explore “perfectness” and how YWS really makes you realize that nobody’s perfect. It’s a feeling that so many people can relate to! I also enjoyed the references to marriage vows, because to me, when I joined YWS it did kind of feel like a vow or a wedding. It’s something you just can’t let go of!
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem and its messages! Happy RevMo!
<3, Meenal (theromanticchemist)
Hey chrys!
I thought this was very sweet when you posted it and thought I'd stop by to review - it is Review Month afterall!
Here's some thoughts!
Title
The title wasn't immediately intuitive to what it was referring to - after reading I understand it's talking about a cake day - but I feel like you might be able to find something that flows a bit better! A title after-all on a writing website is almost like a book cover at a book store! It draws readers in, so is very important!
Set-Up / Introduction
I'm not sure what the phrasing "I've lead my heart" quite means. Usually the phrase is "follow my heart" - I'm intrigued! but the concept isn't really expanded upon.
I don't know if you meant the chameleon aspect to refer to the face-changing, but having only changed twice doesn't seem like a limitless chameleon! Maybe a little expansion as to what you mean about being a chameleon a bit more so we can understand the reference - it seems like an interesting metaphor, I'm just not sure quite what it's talking about.
Intriguing?!
Is the "her" you? or a specific person? Oh! Interesting! I also like how you mention the strangeness of being both old and new! On the internet time definitely moves quickly!
Phrase Swap
Like the above quote about "lead my heart" being a switch up of the typical phrase "follow my heart" you swapped out the typical phrase "I couldn't ask for anything more" to be "I couldn't ask for anything less" -> I'm not sure if you intended that, but I did find it interesting!
"I couldn't ask for anything more" means that you feel you've been given more than you deserve, and are satisfied with what you've been given so don't feel you could or would want to ask for anything on top of the abundance had.
"I couldn't ask for anything less" means that what you have has reached the minimum you deserve, you would not dare expect or ask for less than what you've been given.
I think you meant the former? But given the mix-phrasing in the first section, I'm not entirely sure!
overall
Overall I thought you did a good job editing this and keeping a consistent voice and theme throughout your poem. I could see very clearly where you were going and the point being made- it's kind of a walk through from your first year on YWS and your feelings, experiences, and take-aways especially highlighting the people you've met along the way. I also thought there was a lot of your voice in the poem - even if I didn't see your name at the top I think I would guess that you had written it => you're definitely developing a noticeably distinct poetic voice, which is cool! It takes a lot of work to hone that and I encourage you to do that, but also don't be afraid to take leaps away from your poetic voice / typical paradigms to experiment occasionally poetically!
Very heart warming piece that is reflective and thoughtful. I enjoyed the read!
Keep on writing~
alliyah
thank you so much alliyah!
i'm definitely trying to see how i want to develop my voice as a poet LOL
<3333
This was so awesome Century; everyone you listed is indeed a YWS powerhouse and so are you, an awesome person and presence on this site!
HERBBBBBBBBBB you’re so fun to talk to as well. I love hanging out in wfps and seeing you there : ) I love this piece!!!
aww tysm <33