Published August 27, 2024
[valiant hero, you'll save us, right?]
i am plauged by the weight of being ["good"].
i am meant to be [heroic] or something [good] like that.
but am i meant to be painted in this [golden light]
everything comes to me in [reflections]
can't i just {let go}? {letting go} feels... nice.
but.. i'm supposed to be the [hero.]
maybe just this one time... i can {succumb}.
right? {temptation} is temporary, at least, i think so.
{villanous soul, you'll plauge them, right?}
i- don't know. i'm the [hero- right?
{heroes don't lose control. you've fallen too far into temptation.}
i- have i? am i truly {irredeemable?}
{yes. you are. now succumb already.}
but- i'm... i'm the 「herø.] i'm the {villain}?
the {villain}? {the villain. i'm a villain. i am irredeemable.}
{yes. you are.}
-
[corrupted soul, you ruined us.]
i have. and {do [i regret it]?} (no/yes is the same in the end.)
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Here to review!
So, first of all, I don't understand the brackets and stuff. No judgment there I was just wondering if you could explain that part to me?
Secondly, wow. I love the transition from "hero? villain?" to just "villain" It was BRILLIANT! I loved reading this poem, despite my originally stated confusion, because in my mind I was able to see the expressions going on on this persons face as they wrestle with themselves.
And truly, it covers how you can't be the hero every time... sometimes it's just not possible.
You're really good at telling this story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I hope you keep up your great work.
Have a wonderful day <3
the brackets represent the "duality" of good (represented eith square brackets, i.e being [strong]) and "evil" (represented eith curly brackets, i.e {corrupted})
Hi there!! I haven’t reviewed in a while so excuse me if my ‘skills’ are a bit rusty. Let’s dive right into it!!
Firstly, this is a very stereotypical scenario that the hero tends to break and bend more than the villain and sometimes ends up as the villain after all. I mean, all villains do have a tragic backstory? And most of the time, society and the pressures of a HERO end up breaking them to that extent. Although, this is a piece on a well-known topic, I have to say that I will never get tired of reading works like this because it’s so interesting and fun to see how people portray the scenario and how the describe the emotions twisted into it.
The emotions turn from hesitation to confusion to doubt spiralling into self-hatred. Eventually, all roads lead to anger.
Then the voice, the voice that tells them they are beyond help and they’re hopeless. Whether the voice be trapped inside them or a person leading them the wrong way, is purely up to how generous the author/writer is.
I loved how you included different punctuation like
}
and
those brackets to tell the battle between inside thoughts, expectations and the facade that onlookers see.
Overall, great piece, great emotion displayed and the story writing is filled with tension.
Sorry about such a short review but I’m quite short on time haha, thank you for reading and keep writing! <3
@EllieMae @Spearmint
I LOVE IT. 200 points sent!
P.S. excellent use of punctuation!! the rectangular brackets have always looked more ordered and rigid to me, and so it makes so much sense to have them be the voice of responsibility/heroism, and for the looser curly braces to be the temptation to let go. amazing poem, century!! :>