I
loosened my grip around him as we slowed to a stop. He cut off the engine, and
the sudden silence amplified the crashing waves. He took off his helmet and
balanced it on the handlebar. I slid off the motorcycle with his help, removed
my helmet, and turned to him, a knowing smile across his face. He grabbed the
helmet and set it on the seat, draping a blanket over his arm. Hand in hand, we
walked closer to the end of the dock. He laid out the blanket and sat,
gesturing for me to sit on his lap, which I happily did. A tiny ember of golden
light breached the horizon, and I gasped.
“Wow..”
I spoke in a hushed tone, my voice barely audible above the sound of the
ocean’s waves.
His
arms wrapped around me, nuzzling his head into my neck. “I thought you’d like
it.”
“You’re
not even looking at it!” Enjoying the playful banter we always had, I leaned
back against him.
“I
don’t need to.” As his face rested against my back, his voice came out
muffled. I was unsure if I heard him correctly.
“What—why?”
“Because
it could never be better than the sight of you,”
His
voice was a hush whisper of warm breath against my ear.
I
turned to face him, and his staring made me bite my lip. His breathing
increased as he leaned down and kissed me.
We
broke from our kiss, foreheads resting. “A sea of people could surround me, the
entire solar system, a thousand sunrises, and I would only see you.”
I
ran my hands through his hair and pulled him closer to me. The second-guessing,
every thought and question went silent as if a door slammed shut. With our lips
reconnected, we laid back on the blanket. I grabbed his hands and put them on
my thighs, sliding them up my dress.
He
pulled away before kissing me again, keeping his hands where I placed them. He
stopped again. “Are you sure?”
I
exhaled a "yes," eagerness clear in my breath. With no further
hesitation, he began kissing slowly down my chest. It was like he was torturing
himself by holding back, but then a devilish grin cascaded across his face. “Do
you think you can handle me?”
His
touch on my dress sent shivers down my spine as his fingers traced a path up my
thigh, making it hard to catch my breath. I pulled him by his hair, and he
winced with a smile.
“Try
me,” I huffed, forcefully staring at him, my hand not moving. I put my other
hand on his crotch, feeling him grow harder. I smiled and leaned forward,
attempting to kiss him, the hand holding his hair loosening. He stopped me,
putting a finger on my mouth.
“No,
you don’t. Let me.” With that, I move my hands. I couldn’t resist him or what
we were about to do. He made me feel like the sunrise–exploding colors, all
mixing into a masterpiece. The butterflies inside my stomach felt like they
were jumbling in a frenzy.
He
pushed me to lie back down. “I want you to sit back and enjoy. Tell me to stop
any time you want me to. Shut your mind off and focus only on this...” He left
a path of gentle kisses down my inner thigh. A tingle ran down my spine as he
teased me. “I’ll take it slow.” His hushed words brushed against my skin,
igniting goosebumps as my desire heightened.
My
breathing was erratic, and I writhed beneath him. “I know you’re nervous, but
please relax, baby. Let me make you feel good.” His fingers tracing a path of
electrifying sensations over my underwear.
I
had never felt this way. Sex, for me, had always been a chore, mechanical and
stiff. With Jake, it was a choreographed sequence, a task to complete and move
on from, devoid of the raw, unadulterated emotions that now coursed through me.
Zeke’s presence, the brush of his fingertips against me, was not simply about
reaching an endpoint; it was a journey conducted by our insatiable desire for
each other.
I
heard him unzip his pants. Almost involuntarily, as a spirit took me over, I
slid my hand down into the space where the zipper fell. He groaned softly as I
grasped him. “Oh no, you don’t.” He stopped me by grabbing my wrist and moving
my hand out of his pants. “You’re making me lose my mind.”
Amid
our kisses, I forced out a whisper. “You like it.” We broke away briefly, and I
stuck my tongue out at him. He attempted to bite it unsuccessfully.
“More
than you know.”
As
his hand glided under my underwear, I let out a sigh. I opened my legs wider as
he rubbed my clit and moaned as he moved his finger faster. Our eye contact
never broke as he teased me until I was so wet his fingers slipped. “How wet
you are tells me you like it, too.”
I
put my hand over his and stopped him. I sat up and, without a word, unbuttoned
his shirt. He pulled it off, and I kissed along the geometric lines across his
neck. He flexed and twitched as I followed the tribal pattern that cascaded out
on his right shoulder. I pushed him to lie down, and he obediently moved as I
guided him. Then, I crossed his chest with my tongue, where a tattooed ornament
with his monogram was, and he let out a charged groan. His stomach was bare
except for vertical Roman numerals on his left rib cage. I kissed along that
side, then down from his navel, stopping above his jeans. He swallowed hard,
his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. I hovered my mouth over him, rubbed my
hand on his cock, and he moaned quietly.
As
I was thinking he was going to stop me again, he hurriedly pulled his pants
down, revealing his black briefs. I pulled them down, and he removed them
completely. Reflexively, I put my hands in his hair, pulling him into a
kiss.
“Let
me return the favor.” I made my demand, and in response, he nodded, his
breathing becoming sporadic. I ran my tongue along his shaft, and he shuddered.
Even though I was sober by now, I felt drunk by my power over him. This
give-and-take between us was the most natural thing I had ever experienced. We
were like dancers, swaying to a tango with music only we could hear. We shared
who followed the lead, neither being able to stop.
I
took his entire length into my mouth, at least what I could. Using my hand for
the rest of him, I sucked lightly and then harder. His breathing quickened as I
tightened around him. I moved my head up and down. He grabbed my hair and
thrust his hips. I kept my mouth on him, but let him control how hard he moved.
I moaned around his cock, and he tangled his fingers further into my hair. He
abruptly stopped breathing as he tensed up, causing me to withdraw my mouth
from him.
He
groaned as I stood and took my underwear off. I threw them to the side as he
pulled me on top of him. I straddled him, and he sighed. “What am I going to do
with you?”
“Make
me yours.” With an anticipative sigh, I positioned myself, ready for him to
enter me. With a hum, I gradually lowered myself onto him. The lower I sank
onto him, the louder my moan. He gripped my hips firmly as I rocked, sliding
his cock in and out.
He
loosened his grip on me, and I eased back. I could feel his eyes taking me in
as I shifted my hips from side to side. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms
around his neck. We kissed passionately, our tongues circling.
He
flipped me over, taking control back. He thrust into me, and my thighs shook.
His moans filled the air, his voice desperate as he called out,
"God..." while picking up speed and intensity. Our breathing and
moaning synchronized. Our dance had hit its peak.
Suddenly,
he stopped; I looked up at him with pleading eyes. He grinned, his dimple
revealed and started again. “Ezekiel,” I whimpered, and I bit his neck. “Fuck,”
he drew out. I felt him tense up again and knew he was about to cum.
“Wait,
are you on the pill?”
I
suppressed an irritated groan. “Yes, now keep going.”
With
a hearty laugh, he unknowingly prompted me to grab onto his back, my nails
scratching his flesh. “Yes, ma’am.” He pushed himself back into me and thrust
again. In and out, in and out, at a rapid pace until he groaned and came inside
me. He collapsed on top of me. I giggled and rubbed my fingers up and down his
arms, following the designs. He kissed me deeply before putting his head on my
chest.
“That
was amazing.” He let out a contented sigh, a smile playing on his lips, and
kissed me once more.
“You’re
amazing,” I beamed. We sealed the moment with another heartfelt kiss and lay
there until our breathing slowed.
As
I put my underwear back on, my question meant as a joke. “Mr. Mercer, do you
bring all your women here?”
His
response was baffled as he put his boxers and pants back on. “No.” It felt like
forever before he finally bent down, putting his hand under my chin, making me
look at him. “Only one.”
“Oh,
I bet she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” My lips curled upwards,
revealing a gentle smile.
He
smiled back, removing his hand. He kissed my forehead, nose, and lips.
“Something like that.”
We
laid back on the makeshift bed. I snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arm
around me, gripping my waist. Exhausted, we drifted into sleep.
The
light from the sun above us woke me up. I glanced over at him. This was where I
wanted to spend the rest of my life–in his embrace and completely enamored. I
traced his jawline, and he twitched awake.
“Hey…”
He exhaled, extending his arms outwards.
I
sat up, rubbing my eyes. “God, you’re perfect.” A soft smile forming on the
side of his lips.
Embarrassed
by his compliment, I blushed. “So are you, even with your morning hair.”
He
let out a soft chuckle, pulling me close so we could lie down again. I nestled
my head against his chest, savoring the comforting sound of his steady
heartbeat. I ran my fingers over his chest, cherishing our intimacy.
“Told
you I’d make you feel good,” he confidently stated, his fingers playing with my
hair.
I
nodded, smiling. “It was more than I could have ever imagined, but you could be
a little more humble.” I nudged him.
He
lifted my chin with his fingers, and our eyes met. I could get lost in those
mesmerizing eyes forever. In some lights, they were so dark that they were like
a black hole, while in others, I could see from the iris out that they
lightened to a shade of deep brown. His eyes held so much depth and emotion,
like an infinite universe waiting to be explored–if only he’d let me in.
I
was content as we lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms. With him, I had
discovered something that defied description. It filled every corner of my
being, leaving no room for doubt or fear for myself or him. How he looked at me
told me all I needed to know about who I had given myself to.
I
traced the contours of his face with my fingertips—the slight stubble on his
jaw, the curve of his lips, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the
dimple on his cheek when he smiled sincerely.
In
the peaceful morning, birds chirped in the distance, the ocean melodic and
gentle, and I realized I had found someone who let me live in the parts of
myself that no one else saw—the one who made everyone else incomparable.
“You
know, I’ve got to say I could get used to waking up with you by my side.”
“Morning
breath and all?”
As
his smile grew wider, he leaned in towards me, his lips tenderly touching mine.
“Morning breath and all.”
Hello again! Well it seems like I accidentely skipped reviewing this chapter... oops! Either way, let's jump right into the review
“Wow..” I spoke in a hushed tone, my voice barely audible above the sound of the ocean’s waves.
This is a very small detail, but you write "Wow.." but maybe there should be three dots like "Wow..."
I had never felt this way. Sex, for me, had always been a chore, mechanical and stiff. With Jake, it was a choreographed sequence, a task to complete and move on from, devoid of the raw, unadulterated emotions that now coursed through me. Zeke’s presence, the brush of his fingertips against me, was not simply about reaching an endpoint; it was a journey conducted by our insatiable desire for each other.
I loved the attention to detail you have here, going through the whole scene. You describe external bodily feelings and more into the internal reflections. Instead of just describing the scene, you go into so much more detail which allows us to connect to the story and characters on a deeper level.
“You’re amazing,” I beamed. We sealed the moment with another heartfelt kiss and lay there until our breathing slowed.
As I put my underwear back on, my question meant as a joke. “Mr. Mercer, do you bring all your women here?”
I also wanted to point out the playful conversation style that you do a great job with in this chapter! I love the writing style and how easy it is to follow along with the plot. Overall, great writing and thanks for posting!
Hi, hi! Kaia here to review again Let's get right into it!
I loosened my grip around him as we slowed to a stop. He cut off the engine, and the sudden silence amplified the crashing waves.
Okay, first I want to comment and say that that was some great opening lines right there. Immediately, I'm drawn into the tension of this scene from the main character grasping her boyfriend to the very abrupt words such as "sudden" "cut" and "crashing." Those words really convey the mood your trying to convey, BUT I will say that I found it just a little offsetting that you didn't introduce the name of the "he." Granted, it's probably pretty obvious from the previous scene, but when readers take a break between chapters, a little refresher about who we're talking about can be helpful. Take my suggestion on that at will, though.
The next few paragraphs really set the scene. Despite not having read the previous chapter, I completely followed what had happened. Your subtle details from the dangling of the helmet over the handlebar to him helping her off the motorcycle help considerably to paint a very vivid image of what's going on.
“Wow..” I spoke in a hushed tone, my voice barely audible above the sound of the ocean’s waves.
Maybe just use one period after "wow"? Also, let me just imitate that "wow" for a second because that whole sentence was a "wow" sentence. Using tiny little details from that ray of light to the sound of the waves really helped to make the image you were painting vivid. This also creates a stark contrast between the motorcycle and the calm beach. Speaking of this, to further develop this contrast, maybe mention the sound of the engine to bring out the contrast a little more between the waves and the motorcycle.
To kind of reiterate, you only used Zeke's name once which felt a little odd, especially since you mentioned Jake and for a moment it had me confused.
The rating was very appropriate for this piece considering the following scene. My only thoughts on that are that I felt the end was a little abrupt to that.
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be like this, but these two characters strike me as a little immature. The motorcycle part suggested youth and then this little venture suggested severe risk-taking, especially granted that this takes place in an open place, and afterward the two fall asleep by each other. Perhaps romantic, but still suggests youthful foolishness which is again a stark contract to the main character's strict family. I take this as a symbol that these two are trying to break away from their problems and live in this fantasy dream represented by the beach and this scene.
However, I suspect that this dream will not last long. Both characters appear to live on whims and fantasies. And with such a strict family such as the family of the main character, I suspect that all the joy and fantasy living will soon come to an end. For only so long can one escape from their true situation.
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