Hello Again, My Friend!
It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
What The Black Eyes See...
Ah, the long-awaited and long-feared moment where Abigail has to let it all out; confront her father about not just Zeke, but everything he's held her back from and the overbearing expectations he's placed on her. Let's get into the details though.
Where The Dagger Points...
I couldn't find anything to put here this time!
Why The Grin Widened...
First thing that caught my attention...
My father gestured to a leather chair, and I sat, my palms clammy as I braced myself. He remained standing, his hands clasped behind his back as he paced before me.
The way you describe his body language and general demeanor, you made him sound not only disapproving, but like he's in a business meeting, talking to an employee of sorts. Though obnoxious, it fits his character very well and I loved how you were able to capture that essence here. Another thing that did this well...
“Respect? Great. Cares? Sure. But is he suitable for you? Your upbringing has groomed you for a certain path, and this… young man, he’s from a different world altogether.”
Jumps at the idea of respect, shrugs off the idea of caring, and goes on to show his ego-inflated and judgmental nature with that last snide remark about a "different world." It's almost like he's viewing Zeke as something alien, and again, that's an obnoxious but very fitting trait. Also annoying that he doesn't care about actual love as much as his daughter becoming a CEO boss-girl of some sort with an equally "profitable" or "socially accepted" partner. Ugh...
Rage surged through me. My fingers tightened in a ball on my lap. A tingle rooted my feet to the ground as it grew like a tree. How dare he! He dared to dictate my life and destroy the very work of it. Even so, that wasn’t enough.
Too much time had been wasting being obedient and quiet, and I could no longer be the daughter he wanted me to be.
Oooo, Abigail is getting fired up. He dares cut into her love life? And not like they're rowdy teens sneaking out of the house, but like he has control over her as an adult?! Hell no! And that ending -ah, chills! Love the way she said that! Though an outburst may only make things worse, I sense a storm is brewing and I would love to know what the result will be...
Letting out a deep sigh, he momentarily let his guard down, his expression softening. “Abigail, this is not just about you. It’s about our family. It’s about your future children and their children’s children.”
Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. “Father, I love you and respect our family, but you crossed a line, and I’m not sure I can forgive you. You need to let me live my life, or you can’t be a part of it anymore.”
Finally, some genuine emotion from her father! I like how, though his motive and explanation is still selfish in a way, it's not pure malice toward Zeke or more general contempt. He is thinking about the wellbeing of his daughter and her future prosperity, and a good reminder of his warnings were reflected in the reactions to Zeke at that party. But still, it's so patronizing and he's going about this in all the wrong ways. And Abigail's emotional response was amazing, with her not-so-veiled threat to cut him out. It's about time he heard it!
I can sum up Abigail's following conversation with Isadora as this alone: she is such a good sister, dang. Patient and understanding, trying to decrease tensions, and trying to keep the family together even when the conflicts begin. Between her insistence that there may be a chance for their father to change, and Abigail arguing that it'll never worked, it leaves you wondering who will be right in the end. And if it'll make a difference at this point.
Our
Overall, awesome chapter, nicely done!
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