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18+ Language Mature Content

Reflecting Hearts - Ch. 5 - Dark Reflections

by ariah347


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

I woke up and looked at my phone, forcing my eyes to squint and see it was 10 p.m. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but upon waking, I tossed and turned for two hours, alternating between drawing, returning to bed, and editing photos. Insomnia, ever my enemy, had struck again. I swore it was the universe’s way of saying, hey, Zeke–fuck off. I looked out the skylight in my bedroom ceiling to see a perfect starry sky. A bike ride was my getaway for nights like this.

I quietly made my way out of the house. The moon hung an eerie low light as I revved my motorcycle through the silent streets. The suburban metropolis had transformed into a ghost town, and it was the opportune time to explore the city without dealing with people. I passed a billboard advertising the Winslow expansion on Sythosia’s campus. People would often talk grandly about the impact they’ve had on Elysian Shores, but I found the pretentiousness nauseating. When you saw it as much as you do around Elysian shores, it became irritating and became more like bragging than anything.

I continued towards the observatory, unable to ignore the night any longer. The stars seemed to reach out to me. The engine vibrated beneath me as I sped up, and the wind whipped, insinuating my adrenaline. With each turn, the cityscape gave way to stillness.

As I approached, the domed silhouette emerged over a hill. I parked my motorcycle and knew this place was the cure for my restlessness. With my helmet on my seat and camera in hand, I ascended the hill’s countless stairs. Each step offered a challenge, and the promise of the view kept me going.

Once I finally reached the top, I saw a flat deck with a circular glass structure in the center, the best view of the city and night sky. However, my gaze was immediately directed towards a person sitting inside. An intruder took my spot, irritating me until I noticed it was Abigail, her auburn hair billowing in the wind. When we ran into each other in the stairwell, I had to admit that her spirit seemed to match her hair–although it was disturbing and somehow amusing how much I caught her staring. Not that I could blame her. I was used to girls fawning over my tattoos and bad-boy appeal. Most wanted to use me to piss off their parents, and sometimes I let them.

I stood near the doorway, and when I noticed she was crying, my hands became clammy. We didn’t exactly know each other, having only interacted a handful of times. Her breakdown had me at a loss. What could be so wrong in the Winslow household? Plus, I wasn’t used to dealing with emotions, mine or anyone else’s. Some part of me felt a flicker of concern, and I couldn’t simply ignore her distress. I shook my head. She seemed vulnerable, and I should probably leave her alone. I turned back toward the stairs, but her movement caught my eye. She had spotted me, and I glanced back at her. Tears stained her cheeks as she attempted to erase any traces.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was here,” she sniffled.

Somehow, my steps led me to her, and I gestured toward the bench she was sitting on, wordlessly seeking permission to join her. With a nod, she granted it, and cautiously, I sat, struggling to find words.

“What’s wrong?” I spoke my question in a low and indistinct manner.

She hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Where do I begin? …I hate my father, for starters.”

“Join the club!”

Her laughter, a small giggle, stirred something inside me. “You hate your father, too?”

“Yep. Who knew it was possible to hate someone you don’t know? What did King Winslow do?”

“He…he…” Tears began pooling at the rims of her hazel eyes. “…destroyed my collection of art. Pieces I had created since I was probably about five years old…”

“…wow…why would he do that?”

“Your guess is as good as mine…I think he’s determined to make me unhappy.”

“Seems like he’s doing a great job!”

Her laughter boomed as she brushed away the tears streaming down her face. Freckles scattered her cheeks and across her nose. The moonlight highlighted her ivory skin, bathing her in the soft lunar glow, giving her an almost otherworldly sheen. I mentally framed the scene–her laughter frozen in time, embodying vulnerability and strength–and I wished I could capture it.

I listened as she explained her complicated relationship with her father. So, he was the villain in her life, and what was I? The reluctant hero? Right, like, I was good enough for that for anyone. How could a father be like that? I guess I wouldn’t know because mine was a big fucking question mark for my entire life, and my mother was way worse.

“I’m sorry he’s like that. But you don’t have to listen to him. You shouldn’t have to give up something you want because he’s a selfish prick who’s too stubborn to listen.”

She offered a faint smile of appreciation. “It’s just so hard. I’ve always felt trapped and don’t know what to do...”

Suddenly, my own words surprised me as they spilled out. “You don’t have to do it alone. I’m not sure how I can, but I could help.” The sincerity of the offer shocked me, but somehow, it felt right.

She looked at me, her eyes searching back and forth in mine. “You barely know me. Why would you do that?”

I shrugged. “Call it a gut feeling. Besides, I love pissing off parents.”

With a twinkle in her eye, she burst into laughter, unable to contain her amusement. A deep smile spread across my face. Making girls laugh–isn’t that what normal boys do? Yeah, I knew shit about normal. “I may have to write it on my resume.” It amazed me how easily her laughter could lighten my mood.

“Oh, really now?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yep. It’s practically a day job.”

Her laughter echoed in the night as she stood and rolled her eyes. A nervous smile remained on her face as she smoothed her dress. “I should get back to my dorm before my roommate wakes up.”

“Okay. See you in class.”


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Wed Apr 17, 2024 7:07 am
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22Midnight wrote a review...



Hi it's 22Midnight again
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: *gasps* I see that the mirror has broken, that's bad that is really bad, that tells you that her life has just fallen apart and she's really going to be struggling with what her dad did, she might even suffer from grief because that was all her work destroyed.

I woke up and looked at my phone, forcing my eyes to squint and see it was 10 p.m. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but upon waking, I tossed and turned for two hours, alternating between drawing, returning to bed, and editing photos. Insomnia, ever my enemy, had struck again. I swore it was the universe’s way of saying, hey, Zeke–fuck off. I looked out the skylight in my bedroom ceiling to see a perfect starry sky. A bike ride was my getaway for nights like this.


Hate it when you can't fall asleep, she must feel so awful, Oof I know the feeling Insomnia sucks i've had that before a couple times in my life, wait hey what does Zeke have to do with this? umm riding out at night well I'm curious to see how that goes.

I quietly made my way out of the house. The moon hung an eerie low light as I revved my motorcycle through the silent streets. The suburban metropolis had transformed into a ghost town, and it was the opportune time to explore the city without dealing with people. I passed a billboard advertising the Winslow expansion on Sythosia’s campus. People would often talk grandly about the impact they’ve had on Elysian Shores, but I found the pretentiousness nauseating. When you saw it as much as you do around Elysian shores, it became irritating and became more like bragging than anything.


so right at this very moment I am confused if she is back at home or back where she was staying before she came home. eerie things bring problems stay away when people aren't around then there are giants like the BFG that eat you! XD also that does sound nauseating her dads full of himself isn't he.

I continued towards the observatory, unable to ignore the night any longer. The stars seemed to reach out to me. The engine vibrated beneath me as I sped up, and the wind whipped, insinuating my adrenaline. With each turn, the cityscape gave way to stillness.


that does sound calming, just you and the sound of your bike going past empty streets yeah i can imagen that would be nice, but it's dark that's creepy don't you know bad things happen in the dark.

As I approached, the domed silhouette emerged over a hill. I parked my motorcycle and knew this place was the cure for my restlessness. With my helmet on my seat and camera in hand, I ascended the hill’s countless stairs. Each step offered a challenge, and the promise of the view kept me going.


that's nice, stairs my old enemy we meet again, Abigail needs her sleep for sure she can't stay up forever.

Once I finally reached the top, I saw a flat deck with a circular glass structure in the center, the best view of the city and night sky. However, my gaze was immediately directed towards a person sitting inside. An intruder took my spot, irritating me until I noticed it was Abigail, her auburn hair billowing in the wind. When we ran into each other in the stairwell, I had to admit that her spirit seemed to match her hair–although it was disturbing and somehow amusing how much I caught her staring. Not that I could blame her. I was used to girls fawning over my tattoos and bad-boy appeal. Most wanted to use me to piss off their parents, and sometimes I let them.


Wow, wow, wow wait this is from Zeke's point of view okay that completely changes everything, dude what's going on in your life that your riding out in the middle of the night as well as Abigail doing the same, also she doesn't want to use you she likes you idiot.

I stood near the doorway, and when I noticed she was crying, my hands became clammy. We didn’t exactly know each other, having only interacted a handful of times. Her breakdown had me at a loss. What could be so wrong in the Winslow household? Plus, I wasn’t used to dealing with emotions, mine or anyone else’s. Some part of me felt a flicker of concern, and I couldn’t simply ignore her distress. I shook my head. She seemed vulnerable, and I should probably leave her alone. I turned back toward the stairs, but her movement caught my eye. She had spotted me, and I glanced back at her. Tears stained her cheeks as she attempted to erase any traces.


now that sounds like someone who actually cares your just going to give them some space to deal with there emotions instead of bombarding them with questions. yes she sees him now this is the perfect time for both of them to get to know each other properly.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was here,” she sniffled.

Somehow, my steps led me to her, and I gestured toward the bench she was sitting on, wordlessly seeking permission to join her. With a nod, she granted it, and cautiously, I sat, struggling to find words.


shame it must be weird for him to see her like this, hopefully in the end they get comfortable enough that he can hug her and give her the real support she needs, because Jake isn't even here to see her in pain like this, but Zeke seems to be someone who seems to have a lot in common with her when it comes to coming out at night and doing art.

“What’s wrong?” I spoke my question in a low and indistinct manner.

She hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Where do I begin? …I hate my father, for starters.”

“Join the club!”


join the club *nerves laugh* oh no that's not good another thing they have in common hating there dad.

Her laughter, a small giggle, stirred something inside me. “You hate your father, too?”

“Yep. Who knew it was possible to hate someone you don’t know? What did King Winslow do?”


wait he doesn't even know his father ouch, wow hold on this means they might not be able to be in a relationship after all what if there siblings? okay hold it I'm jumping ahead with way to many conclusions way to quickly, *whispers* but he likes art to.

“He…he…” Tears began pooling at the rims of her hazel eyes. “…destroyed my collection of art. Pieces I had created since I was probably about five years old…”

“…wow…why would he do that?”

“Your guess is as good as mine…I think he’s determined to make me unhappy.”

“Seems like he’s doing a great job!”


shame pure Abigail, no don't say that Zeke go and give her a hug, that might be weird though since you don't know each other very well so yeah never mind.

Her laughter boomed as she brushed away the tears streaming down her face. Freckles scattered her cheeks and across her nose. The moonlight highlighted her ivory skin, bathing her in the soft lunar glow, giving her an almost otherworldly sheen. I mentally framed the scene–her laughter frozen in time, embodying vulnerability and strength–and I wished I could capture it.


hopefully you both aren't siblings because dude you got an issue you so like her, that is so the dreamy thoughts of a guy who's in love.

I listened as she explained her complicated relationship with her father. So, he was the villain in her life, and what was I? The reluctant hero? Right, like, I was good enough for that for anyone. How could a father be like that? I guess I wouldn’t know because mine was a big fucking question mark for my entire life, and my mother was way worse.


yep his the villain the horrible tyrant who destroys everything you love. wait his mother as well, at this point *gasps* is he an orphan or something like does he live with foster parents? I've got so many questions about him now.

“I’m sorry he’s like that. But you don’t have to listen to him. You shouldn’t have to give up something you want because he’s a selfish prick who’s too stubborn to listen.”

She offered a faint smile of appreciation. “It’s just so hard. I’ve always felt trapped and don’t know what to do...”


aww his nice and comforting exactly what she needs right now, and her well she sounds like she is falling apart and she needs someone to put her back together again.

Suddenly, my own words surprised me as they spilled out. “You don’t have to do it alone. I’m not sure how I can, but I could help.” The sincerity of the offer shocked me, but somehow, it felt right.

She looked at me, her eyes searching back and forth in mine. “You barely know me. Why would you do that?”

I shrugged. “Call it a gut feeling. Besides, I love pissing off parents.”


and now I know why other people use him to piss off there parents ... because he volunteers and enjoys it, well that sounds like someone who really does have parents issues.

With a twinkle in her eye, she burst into laughter, unable to contain her amusement. A deep smile spread across my face. Making girls laugh–isn’t that what normal boys do? Yeah, I knew shit about normal. “I may have to write it on my resume.” It amazed me how easily her laughter could lighten my mood.


XD his funny writing it down in a resume now that's something, what she going to say to that.

“Oh, really now?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yep. It’s practically a day job.”

Her laughter echoed in the night as she stood and rolled her eyes. A nervous smile remained on her face as she smoothed her dress. “I should get back to my dorm before my roommate wakes up.”

“Okay. See you in class.”


is that how often he pisses off a bunch of parents haha what's Abigail in for now with him by her side. aww that fun ended way to quickly

Overall I loved this chapter it was a great way to introduce Zeke's full character and help the readers get to know him a lot better, also I have so many questions that i hope will be answered in the next chapters to come, way to keep me hooked.
one thing I will point out though in the beginning as you may have seen I was confused at who point of view this was from and I thought it was Abigail but then I figured out that it was Zeke maybe make a not on the top of the chapter saying that it's from his point of view now just because it came as a bit of a surprise as well because you haven't done it before.

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya




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Sat Mar 02, 2024 9:39 pm
PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello, friend!!
This review is brought to you by review team Potato!

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Keep Your Eyes Peeled - My Interpretation

This was a really fun addition to the novel! I really enjoyed the perspective change and found the new point of view wonderfully enticing!

Brief Summary: Zeke is experiencing difficulty sleeping and decides to take a ride on his motorcycle. He ends up at the observatory, where he also finds Abigail. But she is crying, and he's a little confused on how to handle that. Eventually, he tries to comfort her, and it works. They begin to part ways, and they mention seeing each other in class.

Short, sweet, and full of so much beautiful emotion!


It's The Tot That Counts - Some Advice

There wasn't much wrong here—I'm not actually sure anything was wrong! But there was one thing in the opening paragraph when Zeke was explaining his insomnia that sort of confused me in a sense. It was when you said,

I swore it was the universe’s way of saying, hey, Zeke–fuck off.


This was a tad confusing to read because it seems you combined "Zeke" and "fuck" into one word because the dash is short. But it's not really something that would be combined into one word. Maybe I just misinterpreted what you were trying to say, but I also feel like since it's the universe "saying" something, you could put that part in quotation marks.

So with all of that being said, I think I would make the sentence look more like:

I swore it was the universe’s way of saying, "Hey, Zeke, fuck off."


But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


That's Absolutely Mashing - My Favorites

This was a really great chapter! And like I said above, the perspective change did wonders for making this all the more interesting! This entire chapter was really awesome, so I decided to just pick out a couple of things to talk about... Shall we?

The first thing that stood out to me while reading this chapter was the descriptions you used to describe what Zeke was experiencing on his motorcycle. They were so vivid and captivating in all the best ways! You said,

The stars seemed to reach out to me. The engine vibrated beneath me as I sped up, and the wind whipped, insinuating my adrenaline.


You captured the feelings in such a concise way that made the scene so much easier to imagine, which I really appreciate as a reader! I also just loved to see the unique way you described it because I've never been on a motorcycle, and I found it really cool, so kudos to you for that!

The other thing that caught my eye during this chapter came closer to the end when Zeke and Abigail were having a fairly genuine heart-to-heart. You showed Zeke's personality in a really great way, and I loved to see it! You said,

So, he was the villain in her life, and what was I? The reluctant hero? Right, like, I was good enough for that for anyone. How could a father be like that?


From these few sentences, we can feel and see the uncertainty Zeke feels towards being emotionally supportive showing the little support he has of his own. This does a great job showing why he behaves and thinks the way he does, and provided a spectacular base for his character to grow! You did a great job with this!


Time Fries When You're Having Fun - Final Words

This was a wonderful chapter, and I had a fantastic time reading it!! I'm sorry it took me so long to check out another... but I made it here eventually! I'll check out the next chapter as soon as possible!!

Chip, chip, hooray!! Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


I'll see you tater! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato—is this potato named Steve?
— Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer