Young Writers Society

Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven! It seems like reviews start to taper off here, so allow me to jump in and help close the gap! And of course, if you do want me to review a prior chapter for any reason, I will gladly go back! That aside, I'll be using my Familiar method for this great chapter. Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Ooou, this was an interesting chapter. After a long day worrying about what her father will say or do next, an unexpectedly daunting assignment, and a rigid conversation with a cheeky classmate, it definitely sounds like Abigail has been left with a lot on her plate, and a lot to ponder as she embraces this chance to let out the repressed artist and creativity inside of her. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

This is where I put possible corrections and recommendations, alas...I couldn't find any typos or other things to nitpick, nor would I have any recommendations to make! Good writing job!

Why The Grin Widened...

I was very intrigued by the assignment as it was described in the prior chapter, and how Abigail would answer these personal questions. Then, taking them and deciding to talk to Zeke about them definitely caught me by surprise, but what a conversation! I thought Abigail might go for the "tsundere" approach here, but instead, it seems he makes her so comfortable that she's anything but hostile, inside or out.

I hesitated. What about him turned me into a blubbering truth-teller every time we talked? I hardly knew him, yet I kept telling him things that were anything but casual.

This is so good though! It was very easy to empathize with Abigail's situation in this regard; how she doesn't want to hurt Jake or make any rash decisions, after being with him for so long, but without a genuine connection -just fancy labels and family blessings, how can she be happy? Not only was Abigail unable to be "real" like this with Jake, but he just didn't seem to understand the subtext of her words and his responses were flat -and you did a great job narrating that, btw, between the stiff body language and Abigail's internal dialogue. I really enjoyed seeing the contrast between their conversation and this one with Zeke.

“Life is about throwing caution to the wind and staying true to yourself.” He leaned the chair back to the floor and bent over, picking up his backpack and zipping it shut.

Yes, yes, yes! More of this, Abigail needs to hear more of this!

Ms. Sanderson approached us. “You two seem engrossed in deep conversation. Art has a way of uniting people.”

Though a small moment here, I very much enjoyed this message from Ms. Sanderson. It feels very true and I feel like it's foreshadowing something great in this story.

“I understand, but it's harder than it seems to fight my father. How can I be the person I want to be when I have so much on my shoulders? How can I discover my true self while being in a relationship with someone I'm expected to be with? I hate the idea of breaking up with Jake. We have been together since we were 15. He was my first.”

Oh snap, she actually brought up the idea of a break-up! That was fast, but in the middle of her self-discovery, it makes perfect sense. And just like her fall-flat relationship with Jake, it's easy to empathize with the conflict between her and her father. I mean, she's still taking business classes like he wanted, and he's still mad about it! Wth, man?! (-_- )

And as a final, minor note...

“That’s the spirit! Now, let’s stop with all that thinking because I am starving! I need food! My treat!”

I love Emily's character, she's fun and adorable, and I love her design.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, just like the last many, that was a great chapter! I'm so excited to see where this goes, and what's next for Abigail! Nicely done!

Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: she seems distracted by what's happened with her dad but she is still able to put that aside and do what she has to even though she knows his not happy about her doing this at all, very good character growth.

n a snap judgment, I wrote without thinking at all. There was a rawness in following my intuition. As my pencil slid across the page, some of my answers surprised me. It was as if the act of writing allowed me to understand myself better.

wonderful how she is writing and letting it flow because she knows that there is know one looking over her shoulder and judging her about her answers, there for it makes her embrace what she really feels are the correct answers to it.

After what felt like an eternity, I finished answering. I realized this exercise goes both ways. To learn about others, I had to share parts of myself. Timidly, I handed in my sheet and chatted with Nadine about her responses. After some time, Ms. Sanderson dismissed us.

Hmm almost like a trust exercise where you need to understand each other's strengths and weakness in order to help work together to over come them.

The class slowly emptied. With both hands clutching my backpack straps, I stood to leave, but somehow ended up in front of Zeke’s easel. He looked up from his paper, meeting my gaze with amusement. “Hey,” I said, trying to sound relaxed, “did you find those questions as thought-provoking as I did?”

Yes ask him question get to no him, you know you like him, hehe I have a feeling that i'm going to enjoy reading this part, can't wait to see how he replies to her question.

He laughed softly, his dark eyes lighting up. “I’m not sure I would say that. Some of them made me pause, surprisingly. But that’s what makes things like this fascinating, right?”

“Definitely,” I agreed, unsure if he was being sarcastic or serious. “It’s like getting to know ourselves all over again through a different lens.”

i can tell that wasn't the answer that she was expecting but none the less it was awesome.

He nodded, seeming to appreciate the sentiment. “So, if you don’t mind sharing,” he began, pausing briefly, “what’s one question that stumped you?”

I hesitated. What about him turned me into a blubbering truth-teller every time we talked? I hardly knew him, yet I kept telling him things that were anything but casual.

Girl face it, he is the one in this hole mess that understands you the most even though he barley noes you, because he is the one who's going to sit and listen and not judge you or ignore you like Jake might.

“Well,” I said, releasing a long breath, “the question about my biggest fear–it’s something I can’t ignore anymore.”

Zeke’s eyes softened. There was a certain harmony in the contrasts of his features, a symmetry where gloom met gentleness, and a seriousness converged with restrained teasing. “Fear can be a powerful emotion. But facing it usually means you have strength. You don’t seem like the type to let fear win.”

Believe me fear is her worst enemy but she beets it like its a tennis ball being thrown faraway never to be seen again, i think I might be liking the conversation between them a little to much lol, that's a good thing though because your keeping me interested

His words meant more than he knew. “What about you? Was there a question that impacted you?”

He leaned back in his chair, reflective, the legs balanced backward. “Honestly, the question about what inspires you. I never thought about it before… it made me realize how much I’m drawn to people who aren’t afraid to be themselves.”

Not sure what to think of this response, it could mean his taking advantage of her weakness or he can see how much pain she is in and want's to be there for her because he understands it, really hoping its the last one.

Not afraid to be themselves, huh? Little did he realize, I grappled with being myself and understanding who I truly was.

yeah girl that's why his talking to you!

I nodded, unsure how to respond, and he stood. He was significantly taller than my short frame. His height loomed over me, casting a solid presence that somehow felt protective. Like pillars, his arms connected with his broad shoulders, which possessed veins pulsing with a quiet power capable of tenderly cradling the world or bulldozing it. His chest contoured beneath the worn fabric of his shirt, covered by a leather jacket. The subtle outline of abdominal muscles combined with his overall figure resembled a masterfully chiseled sculpture-like body.

Abigail don't admire his body to much or your eyes might fall out, i mean you get that hole googly look in your eyes and then that's just embarrassing and impossible to explain if he asks why your looking at him like that.

“Life is about throwing caution to the wind and staying true to yourself.” He leaned the chair back to the floor and bent over, picking up his backpack and zipping it shut.

how poetic is he hu, that's romance blooming i tell ya. yaya you just pick up your back and avoid her gaze but you can't hid it either maybe better then her but still not completely.

Why did every conversation with him feel so easy? Jake came to mind as I realized I had never felt this ease or ability to trust him with my innermost thoughts.

ya that's because Jake's a doosh bag and you should just dump his ass, he doesn't understand you he only understands what he wants and what your dad want's and all that together in one, is bad news.

Ms. Sanderson approached us. “You two seem engrossed in deep conversation. Art has a way of uniting people.”

Zeke and I exchanged a look. My cheeks, such traitors, revealed my embarrassment at her comment. Zeke, noticing my flushed face, chuckled. “It certainly does,” he agreed.

XD i guess sometimes true embarrassment is the only thing that can reveal the truth about her feels to Zeke right now, pity that he knows she's dating at least I think he knows maybe he doesn't.

Ms. Sanderson smiled as she began cleaning up the room. “Well, don’t let me keep you. Enjoy the rest of your evening, and I’ll see you both in the next class.”

Zeke put his black backpack over one shoulder and, as he walked away, called out, “Well, see you around.”

Ms. Sanderson has probably seen this a lot in her years of working there, no surprises i guess. aww it's ending already why Zeke you have to stay and talk or is the embarrassment to much!

He glanced back at me as he approached the door. I stumbled shortly behind him as his smile widened enough that the dimple reappeared on his left cheek.

“S-s-ee you,” I stammered.

this is probably giving him a bit of a laugh see her just stammering over him, she is so in la la land though it funny.

Skipping to last line review might be a bit long otherwise sorry

She nodded, absorbing my words as they cluttered out, messier than her side of the room. “You know what I think? It's time to set that burden aside. Stop letting your inhibitions take control. Embrace whatever the hell you want. Who cares what people think? Consider your dreams and go for them!”

Her words stirred a flicker of courage that pushed aside the worry. “You’re right. I need to listen to my inner voice.”

“That’s the spirit! Now, let’s stop with all that thinking because I am starving! I need food! My treat!”

Lol i guess her side of the room isn't very messy then because I don't think that sounded very messy. Emily is nice so insightful and good at giving advice, maybe that's because she is hungry she thinks well so that she can get food.

Overall: This was a brilliant chapter and I enjoyed Zeke and Abigail's interaction with each other, I like Emily as well at how observant she is of Abigail to know and see that something was wrong.

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya