Young Writers Society

Hello! And might I say what a nice poem!
This is an untapped subject methinks and I like the title because it implys the entire Peter Pan story in four words, which adds a present predisposition to the poem, if you take my meaning.
The last verse contains a couple of things I would edit, both matters of opinion. Replace the - with a "that" and the following line end would gain a full stop. Subsequently you would remove "that plan". Also the last comma would be replaced with a full stop. Merely opinions.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

There is a sad nostalgia and solemness in this poem that is communicated perfectly by these random, seemingly mundane memories. This is the essence of poetry. Indeed, the things that seemed huge and miraculous when we were children are now faded and insignificant. We too often forget our dreams and forget our vows to escape to Never Land.

It's wonderful how you personalized those things and places that are etched into your (your meaning the first persona of course) memory. This pays homage to them and give them a kind of respect that is due to persons, persons who shape lives and make childhoods memorable. This poem shows how grim and inevitable, how painful growing up is, as become adults almost forces us to leave certain dreams and feelings behind.

Great poetry!
Keep writing.
Adam-Clay

Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
I like the idea of growing up being inescapable. The aspect of never land being so desirable because reality means suffering and keeping your childhood locked up in a safe sounds good to anyone. Inescapable is also a concept that makes me think of the real story of peter pan that isn't so heartwarming. Taking unhappy children during the night, keeping them there forever, either killing them when they got too old or the ones that managed to escape turning into Captain Hook's crew. I like the metaphor of the tree, yet never land has very little to do with this poem and by the title it seemed to be more of a main focus. It seems thrown in at last minute to tie everything up in a neat, familiar bow without using your own original ideas. I think you could have continued with the tree metaphor and having it die in the end because A) We all die in the end B) It would still show the "no one escapes growing up" theme while ending with your material C) It would also show how your childhood diminishes over time and gets abused enough to be torn down - possibly in a bad storm as a metaphor for something traumatic happening etc.

The nitpicks I have individually..

"would scramble to heady heights"
Did you mean 'heavy'? This word is a little strange and changing it to something entirely different wouldn't mess with your rhyme scheme which is what I highly recommend you do - edit this part to your liking.

"Her trunk was littered with beer cans and fags"
'Fags?' Really? You either mean this in a mocking term or a label for homosexuals. Neither one is very appealing and I would strongly suggest you change this. In that part of the poem, you are still feeling that your childhood isn't completely gone and you might have a too innocent tone to even yet use that word if you were so determined to.

"She was striped with red and brightest blue,

all summer up then down, me then you."
The last line just messed me up a lot. This will make the reader stumble over words and have to read it to a multitude of times - which I did. I would end the sentence at all summer and put a period after that. Then, you could just have the next part be it's own sentence in the same line, or you could edit to something that actually is a proper sentence on it's own. For example "Nobody understood me and you." or "I miss that; me and you." etc..

Keep on writing and have a nice day!
~Purple