Even when all the worlds decayed,
and in neat rows the dead are laid,
and among the rows lay You an I,
nobody left to mourn or cry.
Even when the tide invades,
and all that's left is the echo of a scream so afraid,
floating corpses is all that's left,
the earth is silent, not a single breath.
Even when fire burns us with fierce hatred,
and together we wait for death, breath bated,
all the trees are engulfed, the world is gone,
never again the wolfs howl, the child's laugh, the birds song.
Even at the very end.
Even then,
I will love you.
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139,679 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
Hi, anna! GriffinClaw here to review the poem! I love this poem. The way that death is a theme throughout this and yet manages to keep the love and bitter sweet feel is amazing. It doesn't have a morbid feel, instead it has the gentle sadness that many love songs/ poems have. I love how the entire poem leads up to the end, like a wave, and then the final stanza... Sigh, how beautiful! My very favorite is the final stanza. The flow and meaning that went into the poem is breathtaking. I have a question for you, though. Is this actual feelings (because it feels so real!), or you mimicking a lover's heart? Just wondering. You are great at poetry.
Continue writing!
~GC
Thanks Murtuza and Thersites! I know those lines are a bit awkward, I really liked them though and wasn't quite sure how could shorten them to fit with the rythm... Any suggestions?
This was phenomenal, I love how the build up to the ending. It was so dark and held death as a theme but then culminating in love that could not be stopped by the universal octagonal sign that is death. Really brilliant imagery and use of metaphor. I am a fan.
Hey Anna!
There are a lot of beautiful descriptions that really bring out your talent. Despite being of such a cliched context, I still find that this poem has potential. For me, there were two lines, that despite having beautiful wordings and meaning, seemed a bit out of place.
and
The above lines have a lot of great depth to them and truly bring out the feel that I think you were searching for. However, they both seemed like the odd apples in their respective stanzas, because they were far too lengthy in regard to the rest of the lines in their stanzas. This isn't such a bad thing and though being just a minor issue, it tends to throw off the rhythm of the poem that you've got flowing.
Nevertheless, this piece is nice with great moral. 'Love will still stand strong amidst any chaos'. Filled with imagery, feeling and passion, this piece is a great effort. Well done, and like I always say, keep the ink flowing
Murtuza
Thanks for the lovely reviews
and the 'an' was a typo.
This is the most powerful stanza in the piece, in my opinion. Just one thing: change "an" to and. I like the capitalized You; it invoked religious symbolism. I know this is probably meant to be a sweetheart thing, but I liked the pseudo-idea of faith until the bitter end.
Go forth and write more!
Nice poem.yup,love your sweetheart until the end of the world!:D
D'awww... Hi there anna...-inserts the numbers here-
But that's just my opinion! xD
Well, this is one nice piece you've got here. It's cute and sweet, and it flows and rhymes greatly. You've done an amazing job! However, I can't help thinking this would look more neat in the 'Lyircs Poetry' section, because it's so lovely... to me, it doesn't seem to fit in 'Dramatic Poetry'. If I were you, I would totally take it and turn it into a song, actually.
Great job!
~Solly<3