to the right side of your body

Hello, Pentavalence here with a review.


First off, nice poem! It captured that haunting feeling very well.

A couple of things that you could fix, although these are just suggestions:

If you're going to repeat the 'i don't like you', then it might flow better if it came from the first verse as well.

I felt like the poem just kind of ended suddenly, and it was formatted weird. The words 'your cheek, and your waist' getting their own paragraph like that. It wasn't a satisfying ending--maybe one more stanza?

And the title doesn't make sense either, but like you said, neither does the world. That's fine with me.

That's about it, really.

Keep writing!

-Penta

Hey there anngelalu, that was quite poem. I mean, the way you have maintained the flow of the poem, is very effortless. I have always had special admiration for poems that are directly penned down without much thinking or "research". And this poem of yours is the perfect example of the above. The continuity of the line "i don't like you, i don't like you" might get slightly tiring but then I think if you would have added another stanza just to finally conclude the poem, with something other than "i don't like you" it would have been even better. Well, as for the feelings expressed, they are phenomenal and I got a bit teary-eyed reading it. As for the title, it sure could have been way better, but I understand. Lastly, I won't say"keep writing", I should rather say "keep expressing". Thank you:)