a diagram explaining my body to you

This is the second poem that I have seen from you and I can already tell that you are an amazing writer. I honestly believe that you can make a career with this talent! However, I am not here to talk about your talent, I'm here to talk about this poem. Let us begin, shall we? I loved your use of descriptive and reference words. Those are often very important in poetry and writing in general. I was thinking that this poem didn't need the stanzas until the 2nd time I read it. A lot of people don't realize the importance of stanzas! I am one of them....... Anyway, overall, this was a beautiful poem with a great meaning! Have a great day/night.

Until The End
-Ari

Hi,

Love to read such a nice poetry. I suggest you not use fonts. But the meaning of this poem is hunk-dory. I loved the idea. I loved the concept. I loved the way you construct it. What an amazing story you told us. Starting was fabulous i tell you. I fond of such poetries. What an idea!
I am keen to read more poetries from you. Publish soon.

Keep up the good work.

Absolutely beautiful. ❤️

Hi all! Becca here for a quick review.

I'm going to walk you through my thought process as I read this poem (several times). The title made me think that you would be showing us a diagram that would explain the speaker's body to us. This poem was resplendent with many wonderful and beautiful images, many relating to a body, were they a diagram? I'm not sure.

I think the first stanza is pretty strong. You give us these images of the open wine bottle, half eaten apricot and wise old man--presumably they all represent something--I'm not sure you followed up with an explanation/extended metaphor, which if you did, could make the poem stronger.

I loved the image of the wine staining the marrow (of the ribcage?) though I don't know why what to tastes like now is relevant.

The third stanza, while again a beautiful image, seemed a bit misplaced. You're trying to say something with it, though it didn't seem like there was a transition or explanation.

The fourth stanza seems related to the third, but again, I'm not sure they fit with the rest of the poem. You go back to the ribcage at the end which is what would make it seem like one cohesive poem, but to me, it did feel like two disjointed images/poems.

Obviously your call as the writer. Keep writing, I hope to see more of your stuff!

I like your wording even though the content is not quite clear to me. However poetry is poetry and it doesn't ought to be clear as long as it provokes certain feelings and images to the reader. Your work seems quite personal to me . However you could be more precise and direct in regards to what you want to say through this poem. It gets confusing from verse to verse. I understand you want to explain how your body feels but I can't quite get what your point is, whether your talking about sickness or health and the symbolism in it if any is not quite clear. However the last phrase of your poem is quite lovely and I like the way you finished it "I can sit and become" that's quite remarkable but I think you could turn it into something much more valuable than this I m not saying it's bad I m just saying it can get so much better."Drawing me in so that I can sit and become" I really love it you should draw your inspiration from that particular phrase and I m certain you can turn it into something wonderful.
keep it up