Running With Music

HI there

Firstly, fantastic flow and structure. It all come together and rolls well.

However I feel like some of the lines are a bit tired and overused. For example

"my heart and soul."

Is a pretty overused expression.

Besides that though, very good.

Now this is awesome. I love it, epecially that you used music for your poem. It's awesome that you got featured! Good job! I reccomend what the others said, but that's it.

Spectacular!! Nothing i'd criticize! I love the imagery and the adjectives you used...

Hey! I really like the last two lines in the second stanza. I thought they were great. I liked the whole thing, actually. Great job on the piece.

I agree with a few of the critics that this could definitely be a song. Maybe you should submit it in the Lyrics section, and see if you get good reviews! Good luck!

Lindsay

"Keep your feet on the ground and your thoughts at lofty heights." ~me

I'm a runner and I totally know what your talking about I particularly relate to the first three lines of the last stanza. Those lines were perfect, but you lose it with the fourth. Don't be afraid to break your rythm for effect. Also you may want to consider tampering with the lines "Encaptured by the movement,called to by the tune." Great poem!

Hello there. I'm Ehte here for the review.
I really liked this piece as i myself am a music lover. A very original and unique idea. I really enjoyed reading this throughout. Just a few nitpicks.

[Thrumming, tapping,
the music starts to come.
Spinning, falling,
tugging at my heart and soul.] I loved it.

I feel it racing through me,
I hear it taking shape. hear it taking shape? Try something else.
A story in the tempo, A story fir it's tempo,
a reason for the beat. a reason for it's beat.

Encaptured by the movement, Reword encaptured.
called to by the tune.
Freedom just a breath away,
if I dance for just a moment more. Reword this whole line.

It speeds up, it rages,
and I struggle to keep up.
The music changes something inside;
I'll never be the same.

This was very moving. I love how you described it.

Thrumming, tapping,
the music starts to come.
Spinning, falling,
tugging at my heart and soul.

I enjoyed how you started; it was easy for me to get into the rythm of the peom.

I feel it racing through me,
I hear it taking shape.
A story in the tempo,
a reason for the beat.

Encaptured by the movement,
called to by the tune.
Freedom just a breathe away,
if I dance for just a moment more.

It speeds up, it rages,
and i struggle to keep up.
The music changes something inside,
I'll never be the same.

Wow... I really loved it... I've the same thoughts, actually...
I loved the lines:
Thrumming, tapping,
the music starts to come.
Spinning, falling,
tugging at my heart and soul.

I feel it racing through me,
I hear it taking shape.
Nice work...

I really like this, did you just make it up in your head? I think that this could be a good song. My favorite lines are.

Encaptured by the movement,
called to by the tune.
Freedom just a breathe away,
if i dance for just a moment more.

It speeds up, it rages,
and i struggle to keep up.
The music changes something inside,
I'll never be the same.