Come and set me free.
Learn to love forever.
Let me come to you,
And I will show you the way.
Come and set me free,
Find a friend in me.
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both.
In today, tomorrow
Blossoms, forms, and grows.
In the world a lie is kept,
A flame of envy taking hold.
Come and set me free.
Find a friend in ke.
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both.
So, come and set me free.
We'll make it through, together.
Let the flames burn out and
Dissapear on the horizon.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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I really liked this. Only one thing I would mention: I agree with a previous comment that the main theme is a little bit overused. Other than that, it's really good!
Great job!
Oh gee thanks guys! I didnt see that misspelling. Of course, you guys saw my mistakes. Thanks!
Nice poem! I love the voice. It was solemn, strong and it made the reader want to believe the predicament you were in. I also love the tone and mood. It had a hint of hope in it and defintely not of helplessness and hoplessness. It conveyed to the reader that you are caught in a miry predicament and you've thought of a way out. I also love the poetic diction it depicts a nice imagery. Nice one! Keep up your style!
This was really good, I like it alot.
It had a great and unconventional prose that captured me well! It showed the love but without being all lovey-dovey and un-original.
I'm a little tired so I'll take the easy way out. QUOTES!!! Yay!
Not your best work, honestly. It's a bit choppy, and not to mention I feel the theme is overdone.
--Skis
PS: Sorry, I'm really tired. I'd review more, but I don't want to say anything stupid and such. Just ask me any questions on specifics. I'll still be up, despite my tiredness, probably. XD