Come and Set me Free

by VousEsEtonnant

Published April 20, 2011

In poems

Come and set me free.
Learn to love forever.
Let me come to you,
And I will show you the way.

Come and set me free,
Find a friend in me.
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both.

In today, tomorrow
Blossoms, forms, and grows.
In the world a lie is kept,
A flame of envy taking hold.

Come and set me free.
Find a friend in ke.
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both.

So, come and set me free.
We'll make it through, together.
Let the flames burn out and
Dissapear on the horizon.

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
mellophone7
Review
mellophone7 wrote a review Review · Apr 21, 2011

I really liked this. Only one thing I would mention: I agree with a previous comment that the main theme is a little bit overused. Other than that, it's really good! :) Great job!

User avatar
VousEsEtonnant
Comment
VousEsEtonnant commented Comment · Apr 20, 2011

Oh gee thanks guys! I didnt see that misspelling. Of course, you guys saw my mistakes. Thanks!

User avatar
Temi
Review
Temi wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2011

Nice poem! I love the voice. It was solemn, strong and it made the reader want to believe the predicament you were in. I also love the tone and mood. It had a hint of hope in it and defintely not of helplessness and hoplessness. It conveyed to the reader that you are caught in a miry predicament and you've thought of a way out. I also love the poetic diction it depicts a nice imagery. Nice one! Keep up your style!

User avatar
Renn
Review
Renn wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2011

This was really good, I like it alot. :) It had a great and unconventional prose that captured me well! It showed the love but without being all lovey-dovey and un-original.

ShadowKnight155 wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2011

I'm a little tired so I'll take the easy way out. QUOTES!!! Yay!

Come and set me free.
Learn to love forever.
Let me come to you,
And I will show you the way.

Come and set me free,
Find a friend in me.
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both. < Kills the flow, maybe intentional knowing you :D

In today, tomorrow Comma, again.
Blossoms, forms, and grows. The capitols on all lines may not be necessary, but I've lacked perception of your previous styles.
In the world a lie is kept,
A flame of envy taking hold.

Come and set me free.
Find a friend in ke. <-- Misspelling?
Come, please set me free,
I can save us both.

So, come and set me free.
We'll make it through, together.
Let the flames burn out and <Comma should go here
Dissapear on the horizon.


Not your best work, honestly. It's a bit choppy, and not to mention I feel the theme is overdone. :D

--Skis

PS: Sorry, I'm really tired. I'd review more, but I don't want to say anything stupid and such. Just ask me any questions on specifics. I'll still be up, despite my tiredness, probably. XD



You sound like you're becoming emotionally involved with the custard.
— Nikki Morgan