This poem is intentionally chopped and broken. Just an attempt to explain how Im feeling thanks.
You tell me the poem
Is beautiful.
You say the images
Are so vivid.
Not once do you mention
The emotions.
You cannot describe how
It makes you feel.
That's because we only get out
What we put in.
And I have no emotion
To give it life.
I plugged in my headphones,
Turned the song up,
And put my pen to paper,
And wrote my words.
The ink did not change color
Like it should.
The page was just black and white.
There was no magic.
My bestfriend just told me
I have seemed vague.
The truth is that lately,
I feel vague too.
I spend hours alone, just
Pondering things.
So lost in thought, that
I lose myself.
I ask myself questions,
Who do I love?
Why do I walk this earth?
Why should I live?
I think I have lost myself.
I now realize
That we are here for one purpose.
We live to die.
Everything in between is pointless.
Wasted efforts.
This thought has broken me,
Torn up my strength.
The will to move foreward
Has all but gone.
I merely wander around each day,
Dazed and confused.
Now, I'm not giving up,
I can't go on.
I know I should try but
I have lost hope.
My mother sneaks through
My room each day.
Looking for what,
I have no clue.
I think she tries to learn me
And allI do.
But I just go to school, come home,
Sleep, and repeat.
Go back and read that poem.
So beautiful.
But try to feel the passion.
There is none.
Because I am void of
All emotion.
Now is the poem so pretty?
It is just dead.
Exactly how I'm feeling,
so dead inside.
All my dreams turned to wieght
Dragging me down.
I am lost, will I be found?
I hope I am.
I don't like dying from
The inside out.
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This is beautifully written. You obviously put allot of feeling into this poem.
I disagree with what your poem said about magic in words. Your poem holds magic. The magic of you. Every word written holds the magic of the author.
Keep writing, keep hoping, keep dreaming,
~FW~
Have I mentioned that I loved this poem yet?
If not, then, there, you've heard it.
I really like this poem, because, well for one, it's structured beautifuly, they're like gold upon my eyes and it's got punctuations.
Even though the words you use in the poem are quite simple, they pack a lot of power with them. I think that's mainly why I liked it, it's powerful and memorable.
I can't find anything bad with it to critique on. So, good job for that. Keep writing. You write brilliantly. Really.
Hi! I thought this poem was very sad and packed full of emotions, I liked the way you told it like a story which gave it more flow. But I thought it did seem very long and I noticed this one part that was probably a typo :
) because life is actually pretty amazing and wonderful, yes there's a lot of stuff that happens but you always have to find the good in everything! Thank you for posting this! Good luck with your future writing and such!
"I think she tries to teach me
And all I do. (not sure what you mean here maybe you need to reword it.)
But I just go to school, come home,
Sleep, and repeat."
That was the only thing I had a problem with, it was a really good poem! Please don't think about life and the world like that (your only allowed to in writing
Peace,
Snickerdooly
I agree with the above post. But this is your poem, not mine. All in all I liked it alot and look forward to reading more. Please check out my writing sometime.
I liked this poem because I can relate. I think we've all been there, but this:
I disagree that life is pointless. If life is pointless then just kill yourself, seriously. I'm not saying do that, but it seems like that what you want to do at that particular point. Life does have purpose. You're a writer so your purpose is to observe reality. Our purpose is to observe reality and comment on it. At least that's my purpose. I am a writer/business man/computer expert. Those are my skills, and my purpose is to fully develop my skills and do what I love.
you have to do the same. That is reality. That is life. This poem was good as I said. It reminded me of darker times in my life and better times.