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Frost Lark News 7/9/17

by Sheyren


Frost Lark News 7/9/17

By Skyla Holt

“Historical Pamphlet”

As promised, readers, I have published the findings of the anonymous archaeologist and historian who helped me learn of Frost Lark's history, and so, further down will contain part of the pamphlet she herself wrote. Not all of it, though. The rest will be published on a surprise schedule, so look forward to that. But before that, we have some regular inclusions, so keep reading for the pamphlet.

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

Look at a light bulb. No, really, go do it. Aren't they cool? But how do they work? Well, we have no idea. But we do have sprite. Give us your money.

This message sponsored by Sprite. Probably.

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

The following is a short message from Beats.

We make great headphones. I mean, they're distinctly better than other brands, as I'm sure you can tell. Just listen to them. See, here. Yeah. Doesn't that sound nice? So much, um, clearer. Than other brands. I guess. Buy from us.

-Beats

Survey Time

Which word is the most interesting?

a) Cattywumpus

b) Taradiddle

c) Billingsgate

d) Snickersneer

e) Collywobbles

Frost Lark Health Tips

Humans need 8 glasses of water everyday! If you can't consume that much, it is fine, because there is so much snow in Frost Lark that you will naturally absorb the required amount! Who knew?

“The Pamphlet”

It was the year 367 B.C., and the Empire of Ice spanned from modern day Washington to the south eastern corner of Alaska. Just south of it was the Tribe of Earthen Grass's main city. The Empire of Ice was led by Emperor Zhu, who had crossed the Pacific from China. He was a greedy and corrupt man, wanting the land of the Tribe of Earthen Grass solely to be more powerful. The tribe did not wish to give up their land, so they waged war to defend it.

The war began with a surprise ambush from the tribe. After catching them off guard, the tribe took all of Washington from the Empire of Ice. The Emperor was surprised at the sudden vicious brutality they exhibited, and had not expected them to put up a fight.

The war continued for years, on the border of the two lands. This border is where Frost Lark will, unbeknownst to the warring factions, eventually be settled. There is so much to include in the story of war and independence that we will be updating it, directly from the pamphlet into Frost Lark News, every last edition of the month. In other words, stay tuned for the next update, scheduled to release July 30!


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105 Reviews


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Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:20 pm
Danni88 wrote a review...



Bonjour!

For the survey, definitely a) Cattywumpus. It sounds like a type of magical creature. "And here we have the rare Cattywumpus in its natural habitat."
Wow, I didn't realise Frost Lark was in America. This looks really interesting and I can't wait to find out what happened.

Really good idea to tell the history of Frost Lark. You can insert some more jokes and articles that way, also it engages people. (Speaking as an engaged person here.)

Overall, never fails to delight. I am currently suffering The Official Most Boring Evening Ever and reading this has helped speed it along and add some humour.

Happy days!

Danni xox




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Fri Jul 14, 2017 4:33 pm
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Feltrix says...



Cool! July 30 is my birthday, and hopefully when all of my empirical questions will be answered! I look forward to hearing more brutal and bloody history on that day!

d




Sheyren says...


*smiles evilly*



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:10 pm
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Dracula wrote a review...



Goooood morning!

Look at a light bulb. No, really, go do it. Aren't they cool? But how do they work? Well, we have no idea. But we do have sprite. Give us your money.
I like this because it highlights how stupid some advertisements can be. I mean, a kid jumping on a trampoline has nothing to do with Lego. Some people are just silly.

Which word is the most interesting?
A: Cattywumpus. It has an interesting rhythm to it. I wonder what would happen if I said that while waving a wand?

...Empire of Ice spanned from modern day Washington to the south eastern corner of Alaska...
Woah! Did you just include the names of real places? Mind blown. :P

It's no big deal to have writer's block so long as you keep writing something and that's what you did. Thanks for keeping us up to date. :D




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! And for the reassurance about my writer's block! Later today, I started to get more ideas, so now I'm looking forward to continuing the story. Yeah, I know, shortest writer's block ever. XD

cattywumpus was my favorite too
i need to work it into my common speech more



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 9:46 pm
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MrMuddyPig wrote a review...



Hello! I'm Mr. Muddy Pig.

I see this is sort of like news but it also has a story. It's unique.

I like the jokes you have put but try to be more creative with them. The sprite jokes is overused(talking about something then in the end turns out the ad is about -insert brand here-.)

Also the pamphlet is too generic. I would love to have a main character. Even if the main character is some Chinese general or even some random citizens arguing about the war.

I would also love interviews. Interview famous celebrities! Get creative with his.4

Bye!




Sheyren says...


Thank you for the review! I'll keep your suggestions in mind! :)




Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
— Sir James Dewar, Scientist