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Frost Lark News 5/7/17

by Sheyren


Frost Lark News 5/7/17

By Skyla Holt

“Stone Edge Library”

It's only been a week since I returned from my trip with the Travellers. They brought me back in time, to the year 1898, where I founded the town of Cloud Ice as a solution to their poverty and overpopulation. Obviously, that's not a believable story. So, I went to check the records noting who first founded Cloud Ice as a way of proving my outlandish story, only to learn that the Stone Edge Library is being shut down! As a citizen of Frost Lark, I cannot silently watch as a part of our history is shut down. The Stone Edge Library is the oldest building in the town, built a projected seventeen million years ago by ancient cavemen. The precise architecture and contemporary window designs of the time period surprises many, and we can all agree that destroying it would be a great injustice to the builder of it.

“Gun Control”

As of lately, Frost Lark has been experiencing many controversial issues regarding gun control, and it's threatening to tear apart our town. Many citizens have begun complaining that gun control should not be so strict, or even exist. I, for one, agree. It is unbelievable that our government can go on controlling guns. The guns should be allowed to do what they want, and no political body should control them, or else it's oppression. Mayor Clayton has been trying to mend the gap between the citizens and the guns of this town, and as of next week, the first gun will be allowed to represent all weapons in the town council.

“Co-Mayor Reeds”

In the weeks I was gone, Co-Mayor Reeds has really worked towards changing our town for the better. After former Co-Mayor Erick Harvey resigned to care for his ill mother (who is doing considerably better), Co-Mayor Katherine Reeds stepped in, and I am glad to see her changing the town for the better. She's already instituted many changes to the schooling system which were very needed. It's a great thing that we finally have an official who can communicate with the sentient frogs making up our Board of Education.

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

What happens when you add anything to space? You get an “ad space”! Ha ha! I love that joke!

Not really. Goodbye.

-Wendy's

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

We dared to dream. So, we took everything you loved about the iPhone 7, and we removed it from the new iPhone 8. That means we removed nothing. I mean, come on. You only like iPhones because your four friends have them, and you don't seem to realize Skype is the same thing as Facetime.

-Apple

We aren't special®

Survey Time

What segment should we add to future Frost Lark papers?

Unlike most Survey Times® , actually answer these, because we're gonna read them. But only these ones.

a) Health Tips

b) Weekly Poem

c)Town History Lesson

d) Featured Citizen

e) Frost Lark Wildlife

“Stone Edge Library” (continued)

It appears that both Mayor Clayton and Co-Mayor Reeds do not wish to shut down the Stone Edge Library, but failure to follow orders given by the Bivoclar Lizards will result in assassination. As these orders are carried out, the Order of the Library has begun to once again grow in power. These elusive red-cloaked figures, about eight feet tall each, have served as a thorn in the side of the Bivoclar Lizards for many years. While it is technically illegal to side with these beings, I want them to know I'm rooting for them! The Bivoclar Lizards can't do anything to me. I'm the journalist. If they got rid of me, who would deliver the news? I'm right, right? Right?


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Mon May 08, 2017 5:33 am
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Evander wrote a review...



Heyo, Sheyren! I'm here to leave a quick review. I haven't read any previous editions, so I apologize in advance if I get anything wrong.

The tone of Frost Lark News reminds me of the few episodes of Welcome to Night Vale that I've heard. From what I've read of this so far, it subverts reality while retaining onto enough of it to give a plausible setting (if that makes any sense at all).

Obviously, that's not a believable story. So, I went to check the records noting who first founded Cloud Ice as a way of proving my outlandish story,

Two instances of "story" used in close proximity. I'd switch out one "story" for the word "claim" or something similar. Otherwise the flow of the paragraph ends up sounding a bit odd.

The little sections are short but sweet, providing humorous insight into the world that has been created. The name "Frost Lark News" leads me to believe that this is an entire newspaper, although I could be wrong. However, I do wish some of these sections were longer and expanded a bit more on the absurdity. Like the section on gun control, for instance! "Many citizens have begun complaining that gun control should not be so strict, or even exist." I would love to have read about a brief overview of the event that triggered such complaints to happen in a large enough scale for a gun to be appointed to the town council. Perhaps also naming a specific gun would add to the tone. "The first gun, an AR-15 originated in California, is now allowed to represent all weapons[...]"

Learning more about Frost Lark wildlife would be interesting! If frogs are sentient and can be on the Board of Education, then who knows what the deer and the fish could be doing?

It appears that both Mayor Clayton and Co-Mayor Reeds do not wish to shut down the Stone Edge Library, but failure to follow orders given by the Bivoclar Lizards will result in assassination.

Expanding on this would also be nice, going into how Skyla Holt managed to find out about how the Bivoclar Lizards ordered the shut down of the Stone Edge Library. Perhaps a quote taken from an anonymous source that smelled suspiciously like maple syrup, or something else that seems to follow normal things expected in investigative journalism and then is subverted at the last sentence.


I'm the journalist. If they got rid of me, who would deliver the news? I'm right, right? Right?

The sentences hightlighted in red are a bit awkward and draw out the joke for too long. Keep it short, keep it sweet, and let the reader naturally the sentence without drawing too much attention to the fact that the journalist is probably in danger. To aid in its hilarity, it might be good to cut down on Skyla being doubtful about about their safety. "I'm the town's journalist. Getting rid of me would leave the masses ignorant, so they definitely wouldn't do that."

This proved to be a nice read! I might end up following this. Let me know if you have any questions or comments! Keep on writing!

-Castor




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! I'll keep your suggestions in mind!



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Mon May 08, 2017 5:15 am
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rosette wrote a review...



Hey, Shey-Shey!
Oh my word. I can't believe I just came up with that. XD Apologies afterwards.

But yay, Frost Lark is back! In answer to your survey, I'll be different and ask for a Featured Citizen. And bravo for your article on Gun Control. #GunsLivesMatter , too!

It's only been a week since I returned from my trip with the Travellers.

In the weeks I was gone, Co-Mayor Reeds has really worked towards changing our town for the better.

Okay, so maybe I missed something in a previous paper, and that second statement is talking about some other time she was gone, but as of right now those two phrases in red aren't quite matching up... Was this a typo, or is there something more here?

(For being so famous, Apple sure does some terrible ads).

Sorry this review was so short! I really don't have much to criticize about on this.
Do keep up your writing, though!
cheers
-TheKid




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! Looks like the weeks thing was a typo...
#GunLivesMatter! (I can accept Shey-Shey as a nickname)



Sheyren says...


Actually rereading it, the first red line refers to when she returned, and the second refers to the total time she was gone.



rosette says...


XD sorry about that



Sheyren says...


Don't worry about it. ;)



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Mon May 08, 2017 12:49 am
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PrincessInk says...



*has trouble deciding*

Alright, I'd love to see ANY of them, but I'm choosing "Town History Lesson". Maybe there'll be some fascinating tidbits :)




Sheyren says...


Alrighty! One vote for Town History Lesson!



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Sun May 07, 2017 11:53 pm
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Dest says...



I haven't read one of these in awhile!

Okay, the gun control one was good. I thought it was too... normal for lack of a better word and then the joke set in, the guns were sentient beings.

For me, I say a) Health tips. :D

I'm the journalist. If they got rid of me, who would deliver the news? I'm right, right? Right?

Everyone's replaceable, boo!




Sheyren says...


Vote for Health Tips noted!



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Sun May 07, 2017 9:49 pm
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Feltrix says...



I vote for a town history lesson, but I'd be happy withe Frost Lark Wildlife as well.

I also would like to support the Order of the Librar-

*Dies of sudden and mysterious causes.*




Sheyren says...


Let this be a lesson to all who stand in the Bivoclar Lizards' way.



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Sun May 07, 2017 9:11 pm
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Dracula wrote a review...



The precise architecture and contemporary window designs of the time period surprises many, and we can all agree that destroying it would be a great injustice to the builder of it.
What I picture to be a 'gothic' style building was built by cavemen? And we were just talking about time travel? I can't help but get the feeling you're hinting that the library was built by time travellers. :P

Mayor Clayton has been trying to mend the gap between the citizens and the guns of this town, and as of next week, the first gun will be allowed to represent all weapons in the town council.
Hahaha this took an interesting twist which I did not expect. Love it!

Referring to the survey, I think you should do a) Health Tips.. You love to take the mickey out of politics and stupid trends in our current society, so I reckon it would be a funny addition to point out some of the stupid health tips that 'supposed' health professionals give today.

I'm the journalist. If they got rid of me, who would deliver the news? I'm right, right? Right?
There was an actual interview with a 'futurist' on my local radio show recently, and the presenter asked if a robot could take his job as radio presenter. The answer was probably. Just a nice thought. XD




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! XD
Vote for Health Tips taken. :)




Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss