Church Bells

Awesomeness!
I loved this poem! It reminded me of this book I read. It was kind of like Robin Hood. Anyway, I love how you used rhyme throughout the whole story, and how the church bells kept ringing. They just kept ringing, even in the midst of pandemonium.
I must say, though, at the end of the story I think the words "the crowd" were overused. Instead, I suggest you put 'they' at certain points.
Thanks for the wonderful read!
herby

This is a really good poem. I find it really cool how you have associated the church bells and the guns. I think you should put some more punctuation in and the length of the lines are a bit wobbly. But I love it how, at the end, the heroes turn into the villains as the shootings start again.

Hey there! Cailey here with a review. (And I should apologize beforehand, I often write really long reviews because I get carried away and add stuff like this...)

Anyway, is this based on a specific historical event? (Obviously history is not my forte.) It reminds me of the French Revolution. Am I close or totally off? Anyway, if this is based on a specific event it might be nice to include that as a spoiler at the beginning- or maybe make that the title of the peace?

That leads me to my first comment, suggestion, whatever. I think the title is a little bit misleading, and made me think that I was going to be reading a different kind of poem. (Luckily, this one was way better than the poem I thought I was going to be reading; I liked it more than what I expected.) But Church Bells suggests some kind of religious poem or wedding poem- at most something close to Edgar Allen Poe's Bells poem. So maybe find a way to tie in the title a little more?

I really liked the way you described each day by the tolling of the bell and then the gunshot- without flat out telling the reader that someone died. I also loved how you call each executioned person a hero- since it gives us an idea of what side the poem takes and lets us choose to join that side, too.

However, the format was a little bit hard to read- it might help if you separated this into stanzas. Maybe you could break with each bell? I don't know- it's definitely up to you.

Also, some of the lines don't flow as well as they could. I think with most of these awkward lines the problem was length- you were trying to fit too many words into one line, and it ended up as a sentence that was too hard to read and interrupted the poem instead of carrying it along like it was supposed to.

And, the last line. I find myself often telling people to make a stronger last line- but you've got that down. I love the last line, since it ties in the title (even though I just suggested changing that.) and it ties back the whole idea of the poem. It's a full circle poem and I think that is great. So high five for a good last line!!

Overall, nice poem. Let me know if you have any questions or comments or need anything at all. And of course, keep on writing!!

Um...okay, here goes. I liked how you kept to the analogy of the church bells striking with each shot. Very nice touch. Your line lengths, not so much. It started out small, then grew, and Grew, and GREW, and then went back down a little before stopping. It just felt rather clunky, awkward, and unwieldy to read through. I liked how you ended, however, with an allusion to the heroes punishing the malefactors to the same rhythm of death they'd just faced. The only thing I'd caution you on is how you present that, because although I liked it when I realized it, that allusion also made it feel like the heroes had suddenly become the villains in that role reversal. Just a word of caution.
Hope that helps!