And on that Day of Judgment day a deal was made
Between holy and sin
The holy offered the devil the banshee in the form of a ball,
Which the devil smiled and took it fondly into hands, wiping it away into his body
He morphed and changed and then swam away into the darkness of the abyss.
And on that Day of Judgment day a deal was made
Between holy and sin
Torrents and hail, and all the unpredictable at one maze of the world
A figure approached and stared at the children cowering in the corner of the maze and said
“Do not be afraid for it is judgment day”
The figure then enveloped the children into his mouth and continued on his merry way.
The demons crept in the woods and shadows on that judgment day.
And god oh so holy god sat back on his throne and watched as we crippled in fear at our own demise
And on that Day of Judgment day all borders and laws were broken.
All sanity lost in the confusion.
All sanity gone as the devil smiled with glee.
And on that Day of Judgment day a deal was made
Between holy and sin
The world now gone and the flowers dying
Will we continue our sins and repeat the past?
Or will we simply die?
I have often wondered the same things and I love how you worded it its great though there are some people that many have issues with the way you put it so strictly I enjoyed reading it though its one of the better poems I've read thank you for submitting this if you hadn't then I couldn't have read this in lighting poem keep up the good work and please only change parts of it if you want to not just because someone else wants you to
Wow. That was an amazing hook to begin. It was really dark but cool at the same time. Sort of demented on a good way, you know kind of thriller but not that extreme. The only thing I see that's wrong is the punctuation. Other than that its a great poem and I liked it! I hope I see more from you soon
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This was really really cool. you had me from the first stanza, and I simply adored the mood you set. It was so mysterious and thought provoking. I mean, I may not agree religiously with the content, but It was so good and descriptive and creepy that I don't care. And the ending was really perfect. I can't really say my favorite part because I liked all of it so much! ok, I guess I really like the part with the children cowering in the corner of the maze. It was very emotional, and yet simply stated. And I like how you said "and continued on his merry way." to make it sound less horrible than it really is, which makes it sound even more horrible. I wish there was more, story wise! Keep writing!
harsh and kind of groos and dark. It lacked structure in the way of formatting a poem and when you say "on that day of judgment day" couldn't you just say "on judgement day"? Your punctuation was a little lacking as well. Otherwise, very good but it should be catagorized under horror
keep it up
~Speakerskat