Young Writers Society

I feel like the end is really about how, you would come back realizing that your ending was sudden and your life was short. As in, maybe you didn't live life like you wanted to before you died? Or that you wished you hadn't died just yet. I dunno, I'm probably just reading into this too much. Hm.

Hi there, Pumpkin! June here.

This poem reminded me of the consolatory poems you find in the heart-warming cards and keepsakes of many gift shoppes. In the spirit of keeping it simple, I don't have much here to critique, but the ending stood out to me. I assume that this poem was about death, but the ending suggests a reincarnation of sorts and that changes the tone of the poem in a way that I'm not sure really works? I'm not sure what is meant by you returning to cry for yourself; in my mind it infers that you may want to cry over regrets, but given the previous context of your lines, I'm not sure it works with the poem.

Just my two cents,

June

Wow. As short as this poem was, it really left me mindblown. I like the quick cut of it, how it's straight and short to the point. It adds shock.

The last line is wonderful. I feel like it really ties the entire poem together.

And the entire body of the poem is very good, I just can't find anything wrong with this poem.

The description's good as well,

"Do not shed a tear for me as that casket falls
for I will be back one day
Crying for myself"

I just love that line so much. All in all this is a very good poem I'm glad I read.

Keep writing.

~~Ayden~

Hey PumpkinCat,

Here is my review.

Your poem is a clear cut profile I would say. So short and crisp and good choice of words. Lack of punctuation is the misfortune for this poetry pack.

"Crying for myself"

Before this line becomes the part of the poem, It should have got it's own explanatory part based on this. I can not encrypt that why you wanna cry. Do you mean that you have done anything wrong there? Or anything else.

Of all, the poem is somewhat incomplete to mean the whole thing. Not much fault I am pointing out but meagre things that would make your write up a kind of master piece.

Hope to see more of your works. GOOD LUCK..!!!