forever was a word we read in cheap romance novels
bought off the pavement for a bargain and a smile
it was a word i misspelled in the spelling bee 2004
and the word you tagged onto the end of every sentence
like a promise
forever was the name of your underground band
and the name you gave your cat when you realised
a certain person's lack of musical talent
it was a labyrinth of a word the first year of secondary school
an onion with too many layers
that caught beneath my fingernails
it was a word that made me cry
and laugh
and fail the first literature exam i gave
because i spent two pages talking about its edges
and curves and forgot to explain
why Romeo and Juliet never had a forever
to you it was just another word
and it did not matter what the world thought it to be
or what the world defined it as
because you said we are not definitions we are not
the apices at the end
of an uprooted plant
to you it was
just a word just a spasmodic recurring out-lash
that fused together your larynx
the brushing of tongue against teeth
and nerve signals
it was
just a
word
just a
promise
just a
cry
but you said i could keep it
on my nightstand if i wanted
i could chew at it
until it made sense i could
hide it in a jar from the world i could
whisper it to you and you would
listen
on my nineteenth birthday you bought me a Volkswagen Beetle
and you named it
forever
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
You were certainly correct when you said this wow have bad grammar. Even though it was on purpose my detail oriented brain focused too much on that part. Beyond grammar your poem was fantastic. I loved it. I love when writers use "you". It reads like someone is speaking to me. That's why I love it. It makes me want to read more because I feel like you, the author, is right there telling me everything rather than just writing it down. I also enjoyed how the first and last words are "forever". It really brings the whole story back around!
Keep writing!!
-Fruit4you
Hey Pompadour! I went through your poem but don't take my reviews in any kinda offensive manner. According to me it was a jumbled up amalgam of words, expression and phrases.. As there was, as per me, lack of a common link that brings the whole literary work together. I might bewrong on my part or might have even not understood the depth of your words.. But still there is a far scope of improvement that i can seein this literary work... But more or less your words, if bent in a nice trap tune, might end up turning into an amazing rap lyric... (p.s. You should give a shot to rapping as well)
Lil Pomp ft. Inc0mp3r - Hension (Explicit)
hahah basically... i also rap or i can say that i can also write rap lyrics... henceforth i could easily make out from your expressions that it outta be some kinda rap stuff.. (;