Dear Pomp,
You have many excellent reviews here of your poetry. However, I would like to review your anatomy.
Well before we get to that, the othe thing that bugs me is "the wire line at your doorstep". I don't think wires go close enough to houses to be considered THAT person's line. It seems to e more of a community entity.
Regarding the image of the heart itself, I was puzzled by your use of the word dessicated. It implie something long dead and dried up, not an organ ready to be reinserted. So it seemed weird.
I liked your use of venae cavae but at the same time I kind of cringed. They aren't really a part of the heart the way the aorta and pulmonary trunks are. For them to be long enough to touch someone's hairline you'd had to rip off their IVC down in their pelvis probably. And they're not of equal lengths - the SVC is much shorter. So that bothered the anatomist in me. Is this your heart or your whole vasculature?
This has been a medical review.
-Stella x
Points: 53415
Reviews: 1125
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