avalanching metaphorical snowdays

You are a beautiful writer. I like the openness and ease and the way the meaning lies right under the surface. So often poems have so many twists and turns and just wordiness that it becomes difficult to dig to the bottom.

That being said, here are my notes:
Small thing, in the second line you use “its” for the wind. I think you could start the personification element here and use the “he” pronoun already. Your choice, I just liked how that was done in the second part.

I don’t see the purpose of the brackets. Ordinarily, brackets are used when quoting someone to show that an extra word has been added for clarification. Here I felt that rather than set apart those phrases, draw significance to them or make them stand out, they made them appear superfluous and awkward—not that the wording is awkward in and of itself. The phrases would come across more confidently without the brackets.

I’m not sure I like the phrase "wax laconic." It sounds like it’s trying to hard, and whatever the intended meaning was, it didn’t come through for me.

I like the second half a lot. It’s not as whimsical as the first. I’m not sure if the contrast was intentional, but it worked well, I thought, with the theme and the blunt and whimsical nature of winter weather.

“or this is what he tells me, at least, that he dislikes”
“i am not ashamed, but i demand to know” Both of these lines could use some trimming. The rest of the paragraph is very purposeful and concise, but these were both a bit wordy and didn’t add much to the meaning or flow.

“and he offers to get me a shovel for new year's. “
Favorite line.

“you might consider
getting the lad a traffic warden for his birthday.” I don’t understand the traffic warden comment. What is he for? What would he do that has to do with wind or snow? I’m missing something.

I’m not sure how I feel about the end. We never really get inside the character’s mind too much, just a little bit with the “diet of fear” and their determination to confront the weather. I like that the ending is concise and brief, but it doesn’t lend a lot of depth to the character, and how they react to the wind’s response. I don’t know if a lot needs to be added per se—I don’t think you want it to be too drawn out—but adjusted a bit, to add some more emotion and roundness to the person, and make the reader empathize a bit more.

A couple last little structural things. Do you need to have italics and quotes for the speaker?
And second, is there a definite and specific purpose for not capitalizing "I"? It's one thing not to capitalize first words of lines or sentences, but it gets distracting when it's I which is just always capitalized. Now if there's a significant reason, that's one thing, but I had difficulty pinpointing one.

Just needs a bit of polishing, but I really enjoyed this piece. Good work.

Wow. Right from the first line, you draw me in. You have this way with words that captures my attention right away and makes me recognize your work instantaneously. As soon as I read the first two lines, I just thought in my head, "Oh, this is definitely by Pompadour, isn't it." You have your own original script, and I love it. I mean, look at these lines:

the wind has an odd, intrusive habit
of rapping its bony fingers on my door

~*~

nasty creatures, thoughts are.

Hello there! I really liked this one. Actually, everything that I am being bale to read on this site is beautiful and I can't find one that I do not like. And yours was one of those that I liked the most.

First of all, your title is really catchy and classy and unique. When I've read the words "metaphorical snowdays" I knew I had to click on it and read. The title itself is deep and was thought really well. Next, the writing itself is perfectly precise.

"the wind is not pleased with my excess diet of fear,
or this is what he tells me, at least, that it dislikes
carrying heavy voices--too much baggage
that costs barely a penny higher up; and is worth nothing.
i am not ashamed, but i demand to know
why there are two-metre-high mounds of snow"

Reading this part, I knew there's a HUGE metaphorical thingy that's going to happen. So I was very intrigued I had to read it twice because I want to feel the "metaphorical excitement" again haha.

"'you could have it worse, you know,' he comments
when he's just a foot dangling in at my door.
'there's a fella down the street
and the pile-up on St Andrews' road
is his doing.'"

After I've read this part, I was all, "told yaaaa" haha I really liked the meaning of this poem. A person ranting about the high mounds of snow avalanching through his windows when in reality, there are people who are experiencing things worse than he is, and that he should know he should not complain too much; because there are others who are just less fortunate than he was.

Now the ending was really catchy.

"and i say,

'i'll keep that in mind.'"

You ended it simply, but yet it is really catchy. Catchy catchy catchy.

Nice work. I loved it. Keep writing beautiful things like this!